If last season was a coming out party for NeNe, this season of Housewives is all about Kim. Whither she goes, her wigs traveling the wheel of blonde shades, so goeth the Bravo production team. Last night we were privy to the woman’s party planning skills. No sliders, no sad slabs of cheddar. She wanted tartare, she wanted the best vintage of appletinis, she wanted a smooth hangover. It was a K & K birthday party, for her and her new sister Kandi. NeNe was most definitely not invited.
Big Poppa didn’t seem to be in attendance, but he sent a diamond engagement ring instead. After months of soul-searching—”You’re saying health insurance costs how much? My chardonnay bill is that high? You honestly expect me to pay for this cellulite massage?”—Kim decided she and Poppa were meant to be. Oh and it turns out Big Poppa is smooth and sleek and cream colored. He vrooms instead of talks. He beeps money and, according to Kandi’s impersonation, has a thick accent.
Oooh, NeNe was pissed about this party. How do we know this? Because she invited Lisa over to talk about how she is so not going to the party she was never invited to attend. She called Kim a “dirty low-down monkey with a wig.” Lisa, to her credit, wondered why NeNe’s directed her anger Kandi’s way. NeNe said that Kandi always looked at her funny and that “a lot of weak women are bothered by me.” I don’t think Kandi is that woman but I’m not so sure about Lisa, who promptly promises NeNe that she won’t attend the party either.
Meanwhile Sheree enlisted Dwight to help plan her She by Sheree fashion show. She sat there and took it when he retooled her entire vision. No black runway. No ponytails. No Evite. (Evite?! Is this a fashion show or my four-year-old neighbor’s circus-themed birthday party?) Dwight is probably going to be similarly troubled by Sheree’s bungee cord dress made of scrunchee fabric. Sheree’s friend Tania accompanied her to New York to have a look-see at the samples. Something about that woman is not right. She’s always smiling but underneath that agreeable expression is something vaguely menacing. I’m thinking she’d kill someone—possibly Sheree, definitely Lisa—to get one of the Housewives‘ slots.
Kim showed up to the big birthday party with explosions of red feathers on her heels. Her diamond ring was a hit with everyone, especially Kandi’s mom. What is wrong with this woman? She seems terribly cold to her own daughter but this wack woman with a married fiance is somebody to celebrate! The speakers blurted out “Tardy for the Party.” Kim snapped her fingers and yanks the top of her dress up to the beat. Even Sheree was impressed! But when it came time for Kandi’s concert, where unfortunately her main dance move is a bicep curl, Kim was a no-show. I guess one of her kids had a recital that she just couldn’t miss.
Memo to Bravo producers: Please no more couch pretend interviews between Lisa and Ed.
Let’s be honest Housewives fans. The season is lacking, which is why the promo for the O.C. really rang my bell. “Oh my gosh, he’s banged three housewives…This serves as your eviction notice…So you’re going to jail?…We’re heading towards divorce….I’m going to kill this bitch.” Make me feel guilty, girls.
What did you all think? Are you tired of the Kim show? Are her daughters doomed? Would you want Tania to be a regular player? Will NeNe’s high heel marathon going to redeem her any in your eyes?
When did they rename RHOA “Boredom by Bravo”? For me, last night’s show took a backseat to Facebook’s Bejeweled Blitz. I think it’s time to pull the curtain on this hot mess of a show.
again…why do they have you doing the recaps? You are not a fan. The person who does the recap should at least like the show. Go over and read Dalton Ross’s recaps of Survivor and learn how it’s supposed to be done.
To “like” this show, you have to mercilessly skewer it. What other response is there? It’s not like it’s a hard-hitting expose on this issues of the day – it’s craptastic trash, populated with people we love to hate/mock/laugh at. Fans of the franchise have always said that Atlanta is “lacking,” so Valby’s take is a pretty accurate reflection of the show. Lighten up, already.
Well said. “Craptastic trash”. Gotta love that description.
LOVE, LOVE “Craptastic trash”
It’s now going to be part of my vocabulary. Now, when my Mom asks me what is this Rock of Love show you watch, and Real Chance of Love,
I’ll just say it’s craptastic trash.
Wrong. She was right on with this recap, except she should have criticized Nene MORE.
Kandi is the only sane and talented one in the bunch! Of couse she looks at NeNe funny..NeNe spends all her time badmouthing the housewife that she was just shown playing nice with. She thinks she is ‘all that’ but she is not! (I saw her on the red carpet on E and she had something catty to say about each person that came into view)I still can’t believe that Kandi can get through a studio session with Kim since it is clear that Kim can’t sing. Kim was exhausted after singing two lines over and over and having a tough time with that! I like the Jersey girls the best!
I also saw Nene on the red carpet for E! and felt the same way. She trashed everyone, she can’t say anything nice about anyone. I liked Nene after last season, this season, not so much. New York is my favorite.
Nene and Lisa have spent all season trashing Kim for ‘talking trash’ about everyone — uh Kettle? The pot is calling.
And ‘low down dirty Monkey’??!! Wow, Nene..if Kim had said that she’d be ‘racist’
Kim would be racist if she said that. It means something different for black person to be called a monkey than for a white person. Sorry.
Smarts, there is a difference when White people say “monkey”- – - and there is an adherent thought when Black people say it to one another. It should not be that way, but hey, welcome to today’s society.
Well i think that it shouldnt be that way. Because Black people have been threw alot just because their skin color. so yes the society should be like that today.With the history behind the word if white people think it should be okay for them to say it then theirs something wrong there.
I can’t stand the Atlanta version of Real Housewives. I’ve enjoyed watching Kandi’s life and think she’s the only one who is genuine
and tries to make things work. The others are just ego centric, insecure and catty with no redeeming qualities to engage us.
You’re right Anne, I used to think NeNe was funny and genuine, but lately she has had a deplorable jealous streak going on. She’s just not the kind of person that I would want to call “friend” – - – she’s scary!!!
This season doesn’t feel authentic like last season did. It feels like the women are self-conscious and vamping it up for the cameras. Also, they are so utterly vacuous and self-focused, it’s hard to root for any of them. I enjoy Housewives of NYC, because at least some of those women have the ability to be self-critical and do things for others!
Nene is an amazon bully.
Lisa is faker than Kim’s boobs.
Sheree is a self-loving maniac.
Kim is denser than then my mom’s pound cake.
Kandi is ok though.
Right on, Sorrell.
“Amazon Bully”… ROTFLMBO!!!
What a horrible role model Kim is to her daughters. She is teaching them that it is ok to have an affair with a married man. Bringing this man around her kids. She is teaching them that a woman’s only way to make it is thru a man. Using your body as the tool. Unfortunately, Kim the way Kim feeds thoughs girls, this wont work to there advantage because they are not going to have their mom’s “mistress” fiqure.
You forget constantly smoking cigarettes in front of them, the gallons and gallons and gallons of chardonnay, “girls” popping out everywhere, fake lips, no working and having a nanny raise the kids. Big Papa is probably the least worrisome part of the equation. At least he works (if he is who everyone says he is).
Well, NeNe got one thing right – - – at Kim’s “Wig Party”, she said that Big Poppa would never be out of the picture, and that Kim wa lying about it being over with him!
She has the 1980′s Susan Lucci over drawn lips! Hilarious!
from kandis impersonation of “big papa” sounds like hes middle eastern ….two words….ga-rroosss
And does she only have bustiers? I mean can she wear a shirt that doesn’t show her boobs?
OMG…the older girl is gonna be pregnant by the the time she goes to jr. high and the lil piglet one will end up droppin outta private school cuz she too fat to roll outta bed…but thats just my prediction…
Hey, come on. Leave the kids out of this. They didn’t ask for the crap mother they were given, or the chance to be openly ridiculed on the internet.
how many calories does nene eat a day??
1. Kim, you had better be in the hospital for not coming to kandi’s show.
2. Now kim is a train wreck, but am I the only that thinks some of the girls have problems with her because she is white. at least part of the problem??
I agree, she better have one hell of an excuse to miss Kandi’s event. Especially after Kandi helped & supported her… & put up with her “singing”.
She will come up with some lame excuse, like her foot hurt and she is sooooo sorry. I know that Kandi will see through her eventually. I like Kandi,the only one who has class.
No, in my opinion she is getting better press because she’s white. If she were black/hispanic she would have been labeled a straight up Chicken Head a LONG time ago!
Oh, and I love Kandi but “Fly Above” is a terrible song.
It has a great message but I don’t like it either, I also like Kandi. So many people think just because you state that you don’t like something/someone that makes you a hater, there’s nothing wrong with voicing your dislikes. The word is hater something gets misused and definitely overused.
oops…meant to say the word hater gets misused and definitely overused.
I don’t get Nene. Why would anyone want waste time reading a book about her? So what..she had a tough childhood…so did a lot of people. Can you say “in it for the money?”. She talks about Kim and her money ways. She is just as bad if not worse. I can’t stand Nene anymore. Actually, I don’t really like any of them except Kandi. She has more class than any of those media whores.
NeNe was well-liked last season and it has gone to her head, big time.
This season everyone seems so fake and trying so hard to play for the camera. Ne-Ne has proved to be nothing more than an egotistical bully, she has really shown her true colors . Lisa is so fake and I believe she goes along with Ne-Ne because she’s nothing more than a follower and for all her talk, she’s not all that, not to mention her fashion show!!!! OMG!! what a tacky tacky mess! Sheree is just pitiful, trying so hard to show every one how wonderful she is and how she should be celebrated, WOW, has she lost her mind all together…You have to laugh to keep from crying ,because it’s just to sad!!!! I still have not figured out how Khandi got messed up with this crew. Good luck Khandi, you seem like such a cool lady, keep a close watch on Kim, she’s a real piece of work. I feel so sorry for her children, she should be so ashamed of how she behaves in front of them, but she does not because she lacks any kind of morals or decency!!! Just my opinion.
“NeNe Says No No to ATL Relief Efforts.” I just saw this on another blog. Figures.
NeNe is the worst. What a fake hater. Evidently she just put on being a nice person last season! For some reason, thsi season Kandi and Kim are my favorites — last season never would’ve guessed that. I even now look at last year’s Reunion as a big attack on Kim and that she was probably teling the truth the entire time. But I LOOOOOVE Kandi. Even Sheree is interesting and forthright this year.
Overall though, yes, this cast is boring — it’s so obvious they don’t really hang out and just start the drama for the cameras. Ugh, get rid of NeNe!