So cougars are everywhere these days — most notably in fall TV, baked right into the premise of Accidentally on Purpose and into the very title of Cougar Town. But also, partly because of said shows, in trend pieces and web sites and themed cruises and reasoned calls to quit using the darn term altogether. We got it: Ladies are now more often than in the past dating males who were born after them. Viva la post-feminism. I’ve given up trying to argue against cougarism as a concept — that is, as an anomaly worth naming and dissecting, as if it’s akin to the oddity of being a freegan or the genuine progress represented by, say, growing acceptance of interracial marriage. Salon’s Broadsheet even had a good argument for just going with the cougar thing.
What concerns me more is the portrayal of coug-ing. Even though it’s almost always presented wrapped in glossy “you-go-girl” empowerment (the kind that’s just as fake and outdated as the phrase “you go girl”), the two new sitcoms wallow in pathetic details: Jenna Elfman’s paramour has doofy friends who use her mother’s cremation urn to smoke up. Courteney Cox flashes a kid in the street to prove she’s still got it and makes the same peanut butter crackers for her one-night-stand that she makes for her teenage son. (Okay, the peanut butter crackers were a little funny, and the episode as a whole had good moments, as noted by my colleague Michael Slezak.)
Yes, dating someone of a significantly different age than yourself can yield awkward and funny moments sometimes. Everyone’s played the game of “oh my God I can’t believe you weren’t even alive yet when Footloose came out” or “holy crap you actually saw The Sting in the theater.” But when did dating a younger man get so demeaningly wacky? And when, incidentally, did we start treating young men like disposable pudding cups? (That’s just not good for any gender, and I’ve met several men in their 20s who were worth more than their pecs.) Heck, even How Stella Got Her Groove Back played the same situation far more sanely, way back in 1998. Granted, it wasn’t going for hilarity. But even that movie, which made coug-ing its entire focus before the word was invented, tacitly acknowledged that, in the end, Stella dusted off her groove not because Taye Diggs was young, but because he was sexy. (Two different things, by the way.)
The good news? I’ve seen the next episode of Cougar Town, and it gets funnier, focusing more on Courteney Cox’s Jules discovering she can’t — and doesn’t really want to — party like a 20-year-old anymore, at least not every night. (It also does not force Courteney Cox to utter ludicrous, no-way-this-woman-would-say-them phrases like “hot as balls” — sorry, Slezak! — and “thinking with my coochie-cooch.”) But she’s still pulling muscles trying to execute sex positions her man-candy deems “more of a young chick thing.” We’ll know Jules, and we, have made progress when she stops trying so hard to please the boys she’s supposed be “empowered” by.
What do you think? Are Cougar Town and Accidentally on Purpose depressing or empowering? And how hot is Jules’ age-appropriate neighbor, anyway?
Photo Credit: Elfman: Art Streiber/CBS; Cox: Michael Desmond/ABC
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Although I’m only 30 (very soon to be 31) & VERY SINGLE, I have to say Cougar Town freaked me out a bit. Is this what I really have to look forward to??!! If so I hope I can snag some hot, young stud with model looks
I really wanted to like Cougar Town, but I did not. I can understand that it is hard for women over a certain age- say 35- to find eligible men to date, the whole cougar phenomenon just makes women look desperate! The movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back also showed a woman who was persued by the younger man, not an older woman out prowling for a young guy to take to bed! Two totally different things.
I’m so glad you wrote about this since I had thought about it ever since I saw both shows last week. Cougar Town was cringeworthy and misogynistic. It was like watching the news where the predominant view each night is how to scare Americans into buying more corporate stuff. Accidently did it better. Elfman’s character was more believeable and whole, but the Ashley Jensen character is hideous. Rewrite that part, please, to take advantage of this gifted actress. Of course, Elfman’s show will be cancelled and Cox’s show will go forward. Sad and icky all around.
Why does everything have to be analyzed to death? Can’t you just enjoy that Cougar Town was hilarious?
Both shows try too hard (Accidentally On Purpose way more and to less results); and, frankly, I think the whole cougar thing has had its 15+ minutes of pop culture. If AOP is lucky it will last as long as Worst Week (please no) and Cougar Town maybe longer given the Modern Family lead in.
Second this!
I looooved the first episode of both shows. Cannot wait to where they go next.
Are you 12?
people are taking these shows to seriously!
its a comedy its not supposed to give you life lesson! psht!
Well I saw Cougar Town and I did like it, and I agree that people take these shows way too seriously!
Anyway take these shows for what they are truely worth and thats just entertainment for cryin out loud!
I have to admit I am a Cougar and I love Younger Men, but lets get really real I wouldn’t go as far as like 15 and younger thats really pushing it! I am in love with my man and it has alot more to do with him as a person rather then his looks, but he is quite handsome
I did like some parts of both shows, however I admit they went for rather predictable humor. And I found Courtney’s portrayal to be a bit too Monica Gellar.
yes 2 totally different things, when younger men pursue a beautiful older woman,than for older women prowling for younger men. Phenomenal, a few retain beauty & youth compared to the rest of the world, younger men who are special think different & do not let anything else influence their feelings towards the special woman they like, bravo!
I only watched Cougar Town and thought it had a few funny moments. It was trying a little hard, but I feel like most sitcom pilots do because they have to try to sell a lot. I think it will calm down, Courtney Cox is a pretty smart person i would hope she didn’t sign up for just wacjy hijinx.
My husband is 8 years younger than me and he pursued me I was not on the prowl like a cougar. So the new term for older men looking for younger women can be a Tyranasarus Rex?
That already has a name, it’s called “Michael Douglas”
Actually, that “coochie-cooch” moment was my ticket out. For Pete’s sake, this is a grown up, not a little girl, a mature woman with a teenage son. We don’t say “coochie-cooch”, we don’t say “vajayjay”, we call things by their names. It’s vagina, it’s penis, it’s orgasm. So unless the writers on that show learn to portray their characters as actual adults… thanks, but no thanks.
OMG. It is not a reality show. It’s a Bill Lawrence’s Show, you know, that guy who created Scrubs. You can tell CG has BL all over it.
What kind of life lessons do you morons think you’ll learn from this show? It’s a comedy. It’s a comedy PILOT. YES, it HAS to be over the top to sell its product. People that don’t think that older women act that way are completely out of touch with society. I know tons of women that speak and act that way. Maybe not your mother, because she grew up in a “nice christian home where they didn’t curse or speak of sex.” Well sorry people, it’s a comedy and comedies generally take things to the extreme. Don’t watch comedies if you can’t handle it.
I’m 22 and I look at courtney cox and say if i can look like that at 45, sign me up! LOL however, when I see those women at clubs meant for us 20-somethings trying to land a one night stand, I cringe and blush for them, it’s horrifying no matter how good they look, or more likely THINK they look. Just cuz you CAN fit into a mini dress, there’s no reason you SHOULD lol These shows are both sub-standard. Watch Mad Men instead, or Nurse Jackie. Something with substance.
Like others, I also really wanted to like CougarTown but I so did not.
The whole thing felt incredibly forced- like “look at us! We’re funny! We’re witty!” in other words…..we’re trying waaaaay too hard to be both. And the writing was like something my girlfriends and I might say over drinks- which is relevant perhaps- but surely better writing can be found for a tv series, particularly one starring Courtney. If you say “it gets better” then I will give it another shot but based on the first show, I would say it better GET ALOT better to keep me as a viewer.