If you've never been to one of the hundreds of Q&As Smith has done around the world — or seen any of the Evening With Kevin Smith DVDs — the format is simple: The writer-director gets on stage, does about 20 minutes of warm-up, and then fields questions from the audience. And the stories that get woven into the answers are what draws people to these Q&As by the thousands (the Carnegie Hall show was sold out). Smith is a born raconteur, able to spin the barest of questions (like, "Will you ever act again?") into 30-minute seminars on how his Catch and Release costar Jennifer Garner has the sense of humor of C-3PO ("Goodness gracious me!") despite being married to Ben Affleck, who tells tales that make Smith sound like a choir boy.
On stage at Carnegie Hall, he spoke of being overruled by Bruce Willis on the set of A Couple of Dicks ("When Bruce talks, you listen…especially when you're making a movie with a cop or a gun in it"), the late George Carlin's dream role ("I wanna play a clergyman who strangles six children — I think I can pull that off"), and his legacy ("Longevity kills specialness: If I'd made Clerks, rode that for five years, then disappeared, they'd have built monuments to me"). Provided you don't mind torrents of foul language, sex described in pornographic detail, and arcane pop-culture references — he even dropped a Doug Henning joke last night — it's a good time had by all.
The thing that struck me the most, however, was not how funny his Q&As are, but rather how honest they are. Kevin Smith is, by all accounts, a big dude. He's the first one to admit it: "I sweat when I f—in' breathe!" Someone asked him a nothing of a question — I can't even remember what it was, it was so inconsequential — and Smith used it to tell of when he hit rock-bottom, weight-wise. It was a 45-minute odyssey of his adventures with a public toilet — complete with hilariously, sadly graphic details — that ended with him breaking said toilet, snapping it free from the wall, with his ass. It's a mortifying story but, at the end of the day, an empowering one.
Honesty has power, precisely because we hardly ever see it. When Smith gets on a stage, he strips himself bare for all to see (metaphorically; at Carnegie Hall, he was wearing a bathrobe). He uses humor not to deflect attention away from his self-image issues, but to bring attention to them — the heat of that attention functioning like a crucible, burning away the inessential and almost purifying himself in the process. No subject is off-limits, no topic is verboten. That kind of honesty is rare, especially in our public figures, and those unaccustomed to it have problems with Smith and what he does. A young female reporter for Time Out New York, armed with a slightly holier-than-thou attitude, got up to the mic and asked him for dating advice. Without missing a beat, Smith explained to her that because he looks the way he looks, he needed to bring something else to the relationship table. So he — how can I put this? — spent long hours mastering the ancient marital art pioneered by Colonel Angus (say it fast). Withered by the polite candor of his response, this young woman sat down, and Smith moved on to the next question. Check and mate.
Anyone else ever been to one of Smith's Q&As? If so, what was your favorite story? If not, why not?
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I’ve never been to a Q & A of his unfortunately but have watched his “Evening with’s” many times. The prince story is burned into my memory. Not just the oddness of it but the way Smith tells it is masterful.
What was the prince story?
He really is a brilliant storyteller and his penchant for gossip is paralleled only by a sewing circle. It makes for an entertaining evening. Whether you love or hate his movies, his speaking engagements and books are worth your time.
I saw him speak when I was in college and it was one of the funniest 4 hour segments of my life. He took every question an audience member had, called Ben Affleck in the middle of the show, and left many a voicemail message for students. I was very impressed by his honesty and willingness to spend hours entertaining without ever skipping a beat.
Never been live, but have seen a few videos. His recounting of his odyssey attempting to write a screenplay for a Superman movie and his dealings with Jon Peters is hilarious.
I went to his Q&A at Comic-Con a few years ago and he held serve the entire time. He went to promote Reaper (which he directed the pilot), but we rolled with questions superbly.
One guy asked him when he would stop making crappy movies. He answered politely and then started laying into the guy. It was hilarious!
I’ve never been to a Q&A either, but I’d love to. Like Agnes, the Prince story is a favorite. Or what he really thinks about Timothy Olyphant. It’s a wonder that he ever gets any more work with the candor he has–both about himself and about people he’s worked with/been acquainted with. He has no trouble telling the bare bones truth about many, many famous people. Or at least the truth according to Kevin. His graphic candor can be a bit too jarring at times. No one ever needed to hear that much about his sphincter. Granted, the story was hilarious, but still uncomfortably graphic.
If you like his Q@A you have to check out Smodcast – he does an ongoing podcast with his producer, and many of them are hysterical.
I have all the evening wth Kevin Smith DVDs and I like story about him meeting his wife and dry humping,geting the sore on the top of his D$%&. Battery Acid! etc…
orville- what did he say about Timothy Olyphant? I’m curious.
I think it’s in the 3rd of his Q&A DVDs. He basically goes on a rant about how he thinks Olyphant is a massively snooty a-hole.
I was there at Carnegie last night. It was hilarious and heart-warming all at the same time – as long as you can handle the language. (By the way – I can!) Smith is a genius and so incredibly quick-witted with hysterical rapid fire answers. Just when you catch your breath from laughing at a funny line, the next one comes and just makes you laugh harder. I’m 52 years old and it just goes to show you what a wide audience base the man has. More power to him and bless him for his honesty!
I’m bummed I missed it.
Nothing tops the Prince story he told in the first DVD
Never been in person, but have seen the DVDs – nothing will top that Prince story, you’re right, Seanathan – and I recall hearing the PG-13 version of the toilet story on Jay Leno a while back. I would’ve loved to have heard the (no pun intended) unsanitary version!
My favorite story came from Kev’s 37th birthday Q&A in Red Bank in 2007. It involved J-Lo, crying, toilet paper, a lengthy trip to the bathroom, and a missing set of hand towels. I dare not say more for fear of a libel suit. Those that were there know the punchline!
I dig the John Peters story. The giant spider is just too much.
I’m 99% sure that’s internet “celebrity” Julia Allison, who I actually really like that asked the “dating advice” question. Obviously the reporter here don;t like her, lol.
http://www.joeonthetube.com
Two favorite KS stories:
1. Superman, Jon Peters, and the giant Spider
2. Being hired by Prince to make some kind of documentary
I won’t go into detail becase they are funnier the way he tells them.
Favorite personal experience: a few years back KS was running an hour late for his scheduled San Diego Comic Con panel. Rosario Dawson (it was a Clerks 2 panel) vamped for a while and then when the crowd yelled at her to call KS to ask why he was late, she did – KS said he was stuck in traffic. KS then ended up doing the panel via phone using Rosario Dawson as a proxy. Awesome.
I saw him in Akron, three years ago, I guess. He told a great one that night about Jen Garner’s feelings on birthdays.
Never been, but i’d love to be there one of these awesome sounding nights. no time to get up to NY for this newest one, nor the cash for Carnegie, but hopefully one of these days.
I was at the carnigie show and it was 3 hours of comic bliss. Best story will always be the Prince story with follow up and the one as how he met his wife. Ouch.
I’ve seen him many times, my favorite two were a midnight screening of Mallrats at the Nuart in L.A. where he spoke until the sun came up, and beyond (I had to leave before he finished, it was 5am and I needed sleep) and once I saw him on Santa Monica Blvd. and had that moment of “I totally know that guy, is he a friend of mine” then saw him climbing into a car with a “Clerks” sticker on the back windshield and realized who it was.
Besides his work with film, Kevin Smith could best be considered as this generation’s Garrison Keillor.
Any Swallbach story tends to be hysterical. The Chasing Amy story about his mom is genius and the way he ended the Carnegie Hall show was brilliant!
I was at the Carnegie show and I must say it was amazing to see him doing his thing live. Its one thing watching the DVD’s at home and peeing your pants from laughing so hard, its quite another to be surrounded by almost 2000 people who love the man as much as you do and laughing along with them. He is my favorite person on the planet outside of my own family. I plan on seeing him as many times as I can afford, and supporting him in everything he does. He hasnt put anything out there that I didnt appreciate and I doubt he ever will.
I remember seeing him in Toronto. He chose to stand at the back of the stage, and there was a podium at the front that couldn’t be moved. I could not see him, and in my frustration yelled “Lay the podium down”. It turned into a giant running gag, and the next show in Toronto was named specifically after my comment… unfortunately I couldn’t go. He said during the concert he was going to put “Lay the podium down” into one of his movies. Kevin… I will pay my own way to get wherever you are filming to be the one who says that line!!!!!!
I got to go to an Q&A with Kevin over 10 years ago at Univ. of Central Florida. His plane was delayed and he did not get into Orlando to start the show until nearly midnight and he still stayed and answered questions until 4:00 AM. He then stayed and took pictures as well. The questions were mostly Dogma related as it was coming out soon. The story I enjoyed the most was his tale of just how fast Walt Flanigan’s dog really is, only because I asked the question.
It was an AWESOME Q&A, I love Kevin Smith! My favorite story is about him and his anal fissure, it is to die laughing! Its a painful yet hilarious to hear it from him. I hope i get to go to another Q&A soon.
The question that the person asked that sparked the 45 min ramble of the toilet story (which if you’ve watched any of the dvds you’ve heard before) was,” if steven speilberg, george lucas and wayne gretzky were drowing, who woudl you save?” He promptly said Wayne Gretzky and that should have been it – except if started the 45 minute tangent! Overall Carnegie Hall was a good show, but Smith knew he was limited to 3 hours (unlike the 5 or 6 that the Q&A’s usually go) and he didn’t respect the line of people that stood in the back of the theater for the entire 3 hours waiting to ask a question. That’s what was disappointing!
My favorite was the question I asked him on his Threevening With Kevin Smith dvd.Because he decided to close with my question that night I never even took my 4th row seat.Kevin spins tales that you can picture in your mind and all great story tellers do that and thats just what he is a great story teller.