This morning, I received a soul-crushing email titled "WE tv’s ‘RAISING SEXTUPLETS‘ PREMIERES TUESDAY, JUNE 11 AT 10PM/9C." Naturally, my first response was to rail against yet another entry (along with Jon & Kate Plus 8, Table for 12, Octomom, et al) in the "look what my womb hath wrought!" programming craze. Don’t get me wrong: As the youngest of eight kids in my own family, I have nothing against folks raising massive clans. It’s just that I question the psychological repercussions of allowing TV cameras to follow said hoards of tots as they learn to walk, get potty trained, throw temper tantrums, and hit other milestone developmental markers.
But then I let my mind wander back to this past Saturday night, when my husband and I babysat my sister Deb’s three kids (ages 3, 7, and 9). Seriously? The evening was a breeze. Was there a little lie about whether or not someone brushed her teeth? Yeah. Did we end up a little exhausted? Sure. But then we had a perfect excuse for not leaving the couch/watching 48 Hours: Hard Evidence reruns on Discovery. (Fun!) Why not turn this "child rearing business" into exactly that? A business! (And a high-paying one at that!)
In that spirit, I present my new reality-series pitch: Gay Dads + Countless Bebehs! I figure hubby and I can adopt ourselves 8, 10, maybe a dozen tykes, sit back, and wait for the networks to start courting us. And so what if only one of us is on board with the plan, when resentment, rage, and possible divorce will only spur us to higher ratings? Imagine how adorable it will be to see dozens hundreds of toddlers stampeding through our two-bedroom apartment screaming for attention, lobbing dirty diapers, and eating from strategically placed bowls of kibble while I plan a "fun" birthday "party" and my husband desperately looks for a way to get his Green Card revoked. Who’s down for watching? And how many bebehs should we wrangle? Be sure to vote in the poll below, and then let me know, in all seriousness: Is it time for these shows to stop?
Yes, yes, yes! The whole thing started off with J&K–look how cute the kids are! Look and they’re Asian and Caucasian like us! How do they manage when our two exhaust us? Then it turned into, wow, Kate is mean. Whoa, Kate is really mean. Ugh, I don’t want to watch Kate anymore and Jon should grow a backbone.
After that, no more interest in multiple shows about multiples.
As I see it, the programs are SUPPOSED to show how difficult it is to raise kids in general. However, the truth is that diapers and baby food are mad expensive. If you ask me, the parents are in for the free Carters,Pampers/Huggies, and Gerbers or the money so that they can PAY for the stuff.
SLEEEEEEEEEZAAAAK!
WHERE IS KRIS’S IDOLATRY?!!!!
New poll question: When should Slezak post Kris’s Idolatry Interview?
a) Right now
b) Sometime this century
c) about 3 days ago.
Are those lost numbers i see?
and seriously where is kris’s interview. i know patience is a virtue, but come on!
You gotta adopt 50 and call it your “Fifty Babies from Fifty States” project, you know, to bring in the hipsters. Sufjan Stevens can write the theme music. I smell ratings gold.
UPDATE: Our beloved editor/exec producer Jason Averett is fighting a horrible flu bug, and he hasn’t been able to finish the Kris interview. Please forgive the delay. Your patience will be rewarded with Kris Awesomeness as soon as Jason can get to his mac and finish up!
Why didn’t you tell us he had the flu two days ago?! We wouldn’t have send you all those peeved tweets! Feel better Jason!
Your reality show idea is GENIUS. Or appalling. You say tomato, I say tomahto . . .
Yes, these shows should stop. I seriously think the octomom had all those kids SPECIFICALLY to get famous. We need to discourage that type of behavior.
Although not quite 23, this guy managed to get 21 babies. He’ll probably hit the mark eventually. Even funnier, his name is Desmond HATCHett (what’s not so funny…he’s from my state).
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/05/27/desmond-hatchett-29-year_n_208393.html
ENOUGH! Please, I beg of you, TV networks (TLC, don’t get me started)
It’s just going to hurt those kids later in life. Maybe now, they’re fine, but only cause it’s the only thing they know, being on camera. And I hate “reality” shows where they try and make everyone look spoiled, stupid, or mean.
hahaha Of course the only true answer is 42.
Dude, you deserve to be on television.
Seriously though, this trend in reality shows should stop. I’m surprised enough people care about Jon & Kate’s lives to garner nearly 10 million viewers. Witnessing the slow downward spiral of a doormat and a termagant with eight kids sitting around to absorb their squabbling isn’t exactly my idea of fun viewing.
Slezak, sorry to hear about Jason’s illness, but thank you for finally updating us on the Kris video. Otherwise, it’s lateness would have been pretty ri-freakin-diculous!
As for these multiples reality shows, OMG, they must STOP NOW. They really are a detriment to the children, who grow up with cameras in their faces and suddenly get lots of “stuff” as a result. There’s a reason why most child actors become messed up. And I really hate the excuse that the parents are “just trying to pay for their kids.” These multiple births were not accidents. Vulture, fame-hungry women like Octomom and Kate purposely got pregnant with multiples so they could cash in. So disgusting, I can’t believe America watches these shows.
“Don’t get me wrong: As the youngest of eight kids in my own family, I have nothing against folks raising massive clans”. Well, Slezak, then maybe that’s what you need to reassess. Overfishing, stripping the rain forests, and of course massive carbon build up – all due to overpopulation. The solution to global warming isn’t simply electric cars; it’s curtailing rampant population growth. So, yeah – there is a problem with a couple having 8 or more kids (or 4X or more their replacement). The era of irresponsible breeding needs to come to an end.