It’s official: American Gladiators is coming to the big screen for even more sweat and tears and pain and agony. Which sounds like a (potentially fun) testosterone-fueled extravaganza…except, as much as I enjoy watching a scrawny librarian run for his life from a monstrously built man nicknamed "Viper," I wonder: How could they possible turn this particular TV show into a movie? I mean, narrative dramas and comedies have made the big-screen leap just fine, but an American Gladiators flick sounds almost as do-able as Antiques Road Show: The Movie. Best-case scenario: The finished product resembles The Running Man meets The Wrestler meets The Cube. Think about it: A game show in which people compete for their lives or suffer excruciating deaths at the hands of man-made machine traps –- plus steroids. One ticket, please!
It’s quite depressing to see that producers are now mining reality TV shows for feature-film ideas. Then again, if it has to be this way, maybe American Gladiators — which has remained popular through various incarnations over the years (see clip below) — is a solid choice. What do you think PopWatchers? How would you turn this cheesetastic, guilty-pleasure program into box office gold? And what other TV shows do you have a hard time imagining on the silver screen?
No matter who’s helming it, I better see a glut of Zach Snyder Stop/start Slowmo.
Personally, I want a gritty, batman begins style re-imagining of the snorks.
Damn, I guess that means I should stop working on my Antiques Road Show: The Adventure Has Just Begun script….
The Running Man route could result in gory but modestly thought-provoking entertainment if done well, but the producers really ought to take a page out of Rollerball’s book. The original James Caan feature, that is. (Not to be confused with the mind-numbing remake.)
Basically, they should remember to keep the veiled contemporary social commentary posing as a dystopian future. At the risk of alienating jingoistic, “molon labe”-spouting neanderthals, there exists a great deal of potential in subverting the defining, titular “American” aspect of such a project.
If only there were a brave enough individual (or group of individuals) to undertake such an ambitious task. I recommend Paul Verhoeven team up again with Edward Neumeier.
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