Sometimes I roll my eyes so hard it actually hurts. Take the June cover of Vanity Fair featuring Jessica Simpson, for instance—I think I’ll need to see an optometrist for that. Simpson, looking stunning and very old-Hollywood pinup, glances off into the distance, almost as if she were looking at the cover line text floating above her left arm: “‘You Call This Fat?’ Jessica Simpson Pulls Off the ‘Mom Jeans’ and Fights Back.” Problem is, Simpson never says word one about her weight in the accompanying article. Not one.
We’re all used to magazine cover lines that oversell the story (and I’ll be the first to admit that EW has done it a time or two), but sometimes it’s just egregious. I once grabbed a gossip rag (that shall remain nameless) touting “Halle Berry’s new love!” It turned out to be about her cat. But this is worse. Because the author (whom I’ll do the favor of not naming as well) couldn’t get Simpson to talk about her weight directly, he resorts to couching questions generally, asking instead about “body image in general, physical changes, perception.” Simpson could be talking about criticism that she forgets lyrics onstage, so vague is her response. “‘It comes with what I do,’ she said, ‘and I know that every day the media’s going to challenge me, is going to want to bring me down. But I feel like I’m at such a place that I own myself, and it’s authentic. I own that authentic part of myself, and none of those words are harsh enough to make me believe them.’”
Tiptoeing around a subject so much that you actually shed no new information on it actually isn’t so bad, though. Here’s what is: describing Simpson as holding a microphone “like a turkey leg.” Then joking that since Simpson won’t talk about her weight, it’s all the author can think about: “What are you working on now [that you’re fat]?,” he says in his head. “Do you see yourself as part of a class, with Christina and Britney [or are you too fat]?…” And while he takes pains to say that Simpson looks incredible now, her career lately has been, “flop, flop, country flop, fat picture.”
To make matters worse, there doesn’t seem to be much of a point to the story at all. Simpson isn’t promoting a new album or movie. She hasn’t really had a recent career resurgence that would justify a cover story, and she certainly isn’t a “what the heck happened?” or “where is she now?” subject. So what gives? It almost seems like Vanity Fair really wanted to slap Jessica Simpson on its cover and obsess about her weight the way too many in the media do—no matter what she had to say. Aren’t we all just a little tired of this? Whether it’s “Best Beach Bodies!” photo montages, snarking on Jennifer Love Hewitt’s hips, or hounding Kirstie Alley just for the hell of it, Hollywood’s fat obsession is demeaning, damaging, and wildly sexist (oh yes it is—Horatio Sanz and Seth Rogen have both whittled their waists recently, but you don’t see them with “Half His Size!” magazine covers). And if all a publication can do to sell a story is smack salacious, misleading headlines on it, maybe that’s a sign that the article is all fat and no meat.
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I have to agree with that last paragraph. The VF cover is usually a big deal. What has Jessica Simpson done lately that rates? She can’t get arrested as an actress, and she’s a failure in 2 different music genres.
Women only have themselves to blame. Women are the ones obsessed with weight. They buy the magazines and respond to this crap.
Ridiculous. The article should’ve been an in-depth article about either a) what exactly she ate and did (or didn’t do) to get her to change her size up and down (women can relate to this!!!), OR 2) what the heck Jessica’s going to do to get her singing career back on track.
Who’s going to want to work with her now? What direction does she want to take her music? Does she do anything nowadays, other than Twitter and go to football games? It could’ve been very interesting, if the writer had any guts at all.
A classic example of a celebrity that’s personal life has outshined her career. She did not want to be like Britney, but has turned into her. How ironic.
i just read the article online today, and i very much agree with you. i saw that “quote” on the cover and thought it was so stupid and unnecessary, and of course worthy of a huge eye roll. and i didn’t even see the one below it, about mom jeans and fighting back. *another big eye roll* the guy who did the interview and the article would just not get off of it either, it was creepy and wrong. why the hell did he care so much? i read the article because i like Jessica, but you’re right, there was no real point to it, except to talk about her weight some more and slap horrible tabloid-y quotes on the cover. actually, a lot of the stuff in it you could probably find on most gossip sites and wikipedia. seriously, i expect more from Vanity Fair. much more.
So….with all the blockbusters coming to theatres this June, as well as returning series on cable (True Blood, among others) the best Vanity Fair can muster is tabloid celebrity Jessica Simpson? Fail.
At least Britney has talent and works! (Britney had a melt down) Jessica just whines and talks about her Sunday and Monday boyfriend. Whoa is me, everyone is picking on me. She needs to take so time off and recreate herself.
I expect more from Vanity Fair than an article about a talentless has been. Talk about irrelevant. But I guess Jessica should consider herself lucky. If the tabloids weren’t talking about her weight, they wouldn’t be talking about her at all.
I completely agree with Angela. Grab a Cosmo and pick up a Maxim… I guarantee the Maxim will leave you feeling better about yourself than Cosmo. Yes, all the pictures are still of thin women airbrushed to hell, but at least they have some curves. Cosmo has nothing but waifs with their skin pulled so tight over their emaciated frames, it’s a wonder they can hold themselves up (right beside the articles on how to be satisfied with your body – hypocrites!). Studies also show that men find women attractive due to their waist-to-hip ratio regardless of weight. We live in a patriarchal society that unfairly demands women be judged on their appearance (and men on their income), but we women are the ones demanding such impossible thinness from ourselves.
I totally agree. It is covers like this (and Gisele) that made me let my VF subscription run out.
She is very pretty, whether she’s on the thinner or heavier side. But her voice is awful. Unlistenable and AWFUL. And it doesn’t help matters when she regurgitates nebulous phrases she heard on Oprah such as “owning her authentic self.” Blech.
Why on earth is Jessica Simpson on the cover of Vanity Fair??
She is beautiful. She has a very pretty smile and face. Forget the weight thing. She is a true beauty. Why is it all about weight? How many of the people are throwing stones, that need to take a look in the mirror themselves. Leave her alone. let her live her own life.
I don’t think she ever looked “fat,” but I bet they photoshopped that picture anyway.
Kind of like soap rags–back when I watched them, I would occasionally get sucked in when one would put, “Is _______ returning to _______?” on its cover, and I would buy it. Invariably, the article would boil down to the answer, “No,” and once again, I would feel duped.