'The Celebrity Apprentice' recap: Tuna surprise (not so surprising)

If you tuned in to last night’s Celebrity Apprentice expecting to see the fallout from last week’s Rivers freak-out, you, like me, were sorely disappointed. After all that yelling, cursing, and storming off, Joan showed up for the challenge the next morning (fashionably late with fashionable oversize sunglasses) with only a passing mention of the previous night’s explosion. I didn’t buy the ”will she/won’t she return” bit, because if Joan loves anything, it’s being the center of attention — it was no surprise she went back.

This week, the final five had to create an original jingle and a 30-second radio commercial for Chicken of the Sea. Insert obligatory Jessica Simpson/”Is it chicken or tuna?” joke here: Brande represented the endearing ditzy-blonde contingent well, by spelling crap S-R-A-P, cracking up, then explaining it’s because she was going to say the S—…that other word but used ”crap” instead. Now, I’m pretty sure Brande isn’t actually a dumb blonde, but I do think she’s ditzy enough to have actually spelled crap with an ”s” by accident, not just because of a slip in speech. Just saying.

The Trump kids helped out dad by keeping tabs on the teams. I’m downwith Ivanka — she seems smart and observant — but I just can’t get pastDonald Jr.’s hair to remember anything about his personality. I knowthe crazy hair thing must be genetic, but at least Trump Sr.’s got anold guy pompadour instead of a slicked back ”creepy guy at the bar”’do.

Annie’s musical talent was ”slim” to Brande’s ”none,” yet thetwo managed to write a cute, catchy jingle that complemented  theirmoms-at-the-park commercialperfectly . KOTU, on the other hand, had aGrammy-winner project manager (and one extra member), so their victoryin the challenged seemed preordained. Clint wrote a twangy jingle andJoan wrote a cute game show commercial.

In a bout of awkward phrasing (”The radio, which I come out of, youneed zippier things”), Joan made a valid point in assessing her team’swork. In this case, by ”zippier things” Joan meant a weird-assvoice-over at the end of Clint’s song going "Cluckcluckcluckcluckclucksplash.” Now, I’m no fan of Clint’s, but that is one piece of inputI’m glad he chose to ignore. However, the ignored suggestion that hespeed the song up a bit, echoed by Ivanka, seemed like it would comeback and bite him in the boardroom (which it totally did).

Both teams seemed to perform admirably, but the big tuna execsworried that Clint’s country-tinged jingle wouldn’t appeal to a broadaudience. In a good ol’ reality show staple (harp on one outcome somuch that it’s obvious the other will happen), the Annie-led Athenamanaged to beat Clint Black in a songwriting challenge. Trump likedClint’s jingle — though did he really? Or was it just an excessive,ego-stroking pat on the back?  But Trump acknowledged it was theproject manager’s fault, and FINALLY fired Clint. Bummer getting firedfor the challenge that catered to his exact skill set, but it was along time coming.

Annie seemed really excited about her win (as she should be, she’sthe winningest project manager of the season, and she beat a Grammywinner in a songwriting challenge), then called Joan a cancer, which Ican’t decide is better or worse than Hitler. Jesse congratulated Athenafor pulling the win ”out of their ass,” then the four were calledback into the boardroom. Reigning champ Piers Morgan interviewed theremaining contestants, then reported back to the boss man with histhoughts on who should be in the final two. In the interviews, Brandetalked about how she’s totally smart, Joan said she regretted comparingAnnie to Hitler because Annie doesn’t have a mustache, Annie talkedabout herself a lot, and yet again, Jesse’s worth was measured only inthe fact that he’s married to Sandra Bullock. Unfortunately, theunderdogs didn’t pull through this week, and it’ll be an Annie-Joanfinale (surprise, surprise).

Did you see the Hitler versus Cancer final two coming a mile away?Who were you sad to see go this week? Who are you pulling for in nextweek’s supersized three-hour live finale? Were you offended by Joan’sHelen Keller joke? And how cute was it that Piers used the British”two fingers” when referring to the rude gesture we do with just one?


Comments (186 total) Add your comment
Page: 1 2 3 13
  • shelby

    Annie is the most annoying person on the planet, but Trump was right to put her in the final two. However, Jessie should have been there two…not Joan. It’s all scripted. They did it for ratings and I’m not buying the whole Joan/Annie fighting thing. All too scripted for me. Sorry.

  • TorontoTom

    Can’s stand Annie. Everything’s about her. If she could take credit for Brande’s chest, I’m sure she would. I think Joan is right on the mark about the little witch. Hope Joan beats the SRAP out of her…

  • TorontoTom

    And the CHIT too…

  • Rick

    This has been scripted since day one. It was very predictable.
    The Donald glancing and the camera panning just as Joan comes out of elevator. Pleaseeeeee. Rehearsed.
    I’m not sure which character I hate more. The obnoxious, I-woman Annie who has played every contestant like a drum. Or the uber obnoxious, whining Joan who is not nearly as funny or relevant as she thinks. Clearly Annie is runaway winner this go round. She pulled along the harmless but lovable Brande as a non-menacing shil. The only drama Jesse would have offered is whether his wife was going to pony up in the finals. He tried to lay low in the weeds but that backfired on him in the end. I’m not sure that Joan did anything the entire show to justify her making the finals. Her whining narration throughout the show should have been an indication that she would have a large role in the end.

  • Roberta

    I am so disappointed that the show decided that the Joan v Annie finale ratings were more important than letting the chips fall where they may…to can Jesse because he didn’t use his wife was ridiculous. I won’t watch the finale now because I can’t take 3 more hours of either of those two women. The show has really disappointed me. You knew this was going to be the outcome for the last two weeks.

  • Bonnie

    It is not that I do not like Annie as a person…I do not know anything more about her than what we have seen on the show and for that part and that part only…I do not like her. They say that the network will air parts that they think make for good TV which makes sense but Annie’s clips…everything ia about herself and I am sorry but no one is that perfect…sorry Annie but as far as I am concerned you are MAYBE a pair of duces. And as for Joan…she is friggin Joan Rivers…did we expect anything different. I am sorry that Jesse did not go on. He is a star in his own right…I knew more about him than I did Annie before this show started, so leave his wife out of it. Basically Piers picked the two people he felt would give the best TV for him…I for one will not be watching the final show.

  • Adam

    Way too predictable. Joan vs. Annie was the best case scenario for the network. And they got it.
    But it still makes for entertaining TV!

    http://tvdonewright.com/2009/05/04/tv-tonight-monday-may-4th-2009/

  • Ceballos

    Joan Rivers: I’m off the show!
    Producers: What if we give you a spot in the final 2?
    Joan Rivers: I’m back!
    Seriously though, if there’s one thing Joan Rivers loves just as much as her daughter, it’s…plastic surgery. But a close second is BEING ON TV. In fact, I may be giving the show’s producers too much credit since an Annie/Joan final has seemed preordained for over a month.
    Whatever you may want to say about Annie – I don’t approve of some of her methods, and I agree that she’s annoying – you CANNOT deny that she has played this game better than ANYONE and that she deserves a spot in the final two. The grand prize is 250K, but she already won almost that much for her charity in the auction challenge.
    I WAS disappointed to see her make a personal attack at Joan (the crack about TV Guide channel firing her because she’s a crazy b*tch). It was hilarious and justified after all the abuse form Joan, but still disappointing she took the low road.

  • MELLY

    What a DRAG…. Jesse was the best they could have on the season a real person thankfully he never pulled his family in or his friends, why should he, he was great on his own. Tell me his charity, I will donate to it. He should have won this.

  • Liz Fuls

    Why does Comcast dvr keep cutting off the end of the show?This is the 2nd week, I missed the end of the Apprentice.This time, I checked the timer.It said the full 2hr and 1 min were recorded.When it turned into about 12 mins, it change to 15o!What are they doing? I recorded on both of my dvr and nothing.I am about to drop comcast.

  • Rick

    Truth is Joan is a bigger fraud and more self absorbed than Annie. And that is REALLY saying something.
    Remember, boys and girls, this is all staged for TV. They probably have become good friends in real life.
    Comment about Joan’s plastic surgery. LOL. She should have sued her plastic surgeon for her last surgery. She looks like Skeletor. Is her mouth sown shut? Does she think this is an improvement? When is she scheduled to go into the body shop to have that car wreck repaired? She looks like a bad cartoon character.

  • dotsy49

    This season was as phony as Joan’s face. I personally will not watch the final show.

  • Todd G

    I think I’ll pass on buying anymore Chicken of the Sea products. If their Execs are such morons to pick that blah add spot I’m a little concerned about the other decisons they are making in that company.

  • Greg Palmer

    I’m for Joan on this one–for the business lesson. Annie’s ego-centric, cut throat skills are fine for winning tasks. But Joan has been hard-working, knows how to build a team and bring out the best in others, complimented those around her. You don’t win in the long run in business without building those you work with, earning their respect, and making them WANT to work with you. It’s Joan by a mile.

  • Damon

    I don’t know Annie other than what I have seen of her on the show and she is a manipulator. I wonder what the people she worked with before think of her now when they see what she really said about them behind her back. At least Joan has not done backstabbing. What she has to say to or about the other people is said to their face.
    For this reason, I really hope Joan wins.

Page: 1 2 3 13
Add your comment
The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject - or we may delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk (*) indicates a required field.

When you click on the "Post Comment" button above to submit your comments, you are indicating your acceptance of and are agreeing to the Terms of Service. You can also read our Privacy Policy.

Latest Videos

Advertisement

From Our Partners

TV Recaps

Powered by WordPress.com VIP