There is no explaining the inherent, gut-level appeal of some pop cultural artifacts, and that is why we love them — I am looking at you, Lifetime movies and Dancing With the Stars. Joining those lofty ranks is now the Food Network’s What Would Brian Boitano Make?, announced as part of its upcoming slate at its upfront presentation today. (We’ve already registered our excitement about their Jeff Corwin project.) The program, premiering in August, will do pretty much what you think — show the former Olympic figure skater entertaining guests and making stuff for them.
But it begs many questions, foremost among them: What would Brian Boitano make? I’m thinking maybe some seared salmon or chicken quesadillas or turkey burgers, but that’s mostly because I’m thinking about dinner right now. What would you like him to make? And what other random athletes and/or celebrities would you like to see making things on the Food Network? I’m lobbying for Lisa Rinna.
While you ponder those vast questions, please enjoy the clip from South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut that inspired this show’s name:
Even though I can’t stand South Park, they should try to get that song, with show-appropriate lyric changes, as the theme of the show. Also, I would watch him make anything as long as the guests are more figure skaters. Especially Michelle! They’re friends, so she can be a frequent guest/collaborator. Or he can do themes, like dinner in the style of the 1992 Olympics. Or base the meal on the “short program,” “long program,” and “exhibition.” Or only cut things with figure skating blades, no knives.