I may be dating myself here, but my childhood was largely wasted watching God-awful variety shows on TV. Back in the second golden age of boob-tube crapola, a.k.a. the late ’70s, everyone from Donny and Marie to the cast of Star Wars had their own small-screen revue. Of course, there were a few quality exceptions like The Carol Burnett Show. But usually these throw-everything-at-the-wall cavalcades were led by B-list dim lights like the Mandrell Sisters and the Hudson Brothers.
Now tonight, we have Osbournes: Reloaded.
Never mind that it’s been four years since the heavy-metal clan’s reality show last aired and Sharon’s been spending her time on skeezy dreck like VH1′s Charm School, while Ozzy — the Prince of Darkness — has been making a mockery of that nickname by shilling for everything from Samsung to World of Warcraft. The Osbournes seem hellbent on clinging with white knuckles to whatever limelight they can still skulk into, milking every last second of their 15 minutes of inexplicable fame. I ask you, do we really want to see them having pie fights, lumbering through skits, and soft-shoeing a song-and-dance medley? Count me out.
Instead, what I will be watching — what I wouldn’t miss in a million years, actually — is tonight’s installment of The Real Housewives of New York City.If you’ve been tuning in this season, you know that the show hasgraduated from guilty pleasure to must-see TV, what with Ramona’scrazy-eyed hostility, Jill’s lazy day bed-ins, the Countess’ blue-bloodcondescension, and Alex and her husband Simon’s oblivioussocial-climbing.
Well, the teaser at the end of last week’s episode promised someserious fireworks tonight between the over-caffeinated Bethenny andmodel-turned-horsey set gadfly Kelly. From the looks of it, the twohave some sort of mafia sit down and then — whammo! — the cat-fightBotox flies. This promises to be the 21st century version of Ali vs.Frazier. Call it the Rumble in the Urban Jungle. Come to think of it,if the producers of Housewives wanted to set the throwdown to Ozzy Osbourne’s "Crazy Train," I wouldn’t object in the slightest.
Which are you looking forward to? Osbournes: Reloaded or Real Housewives?
I will be watching neither show.
Hmmm… let me think, rehabers or sluts? I think I will watch neither. Blah.
I have better things to do…..like scrubbing the toilet and taking out the trash.
technically…aren’t they on at different times? fox goes to the local news at 10, at least on the east coast, which is when housewives is on (again, at least on the east coast).
If I would watch one of the two it would be the Osbournes. And HELLO Ozzy was famous way before “REALITY” tv. He will still be famous long after these 15 minute fame seekers are a distant horrible memory.
won’t these be on at different times? housewives comes on at 10 when fox is already showing the local news…so really, you won’t have to choose between the two. not that i have any intentions on watching the osbournes. or housewives for that matter.
Osbournes!!!!!
DANCING WITH THE STARS and AMERICAN IDOL
OSBOURNES!!! I’ve been waiting for this show for months!
Is that one of the options?
I don’t think this Osbournes show will be very good. In fact, it will probably be terrible. I may watch the first 5 minutes, but that’s probably it. The thing that bothers me about your article here, Mr. Nashawaty, is your “15 minutes of inexplicable fame” comment. Inexplicable? Are you insane? He’s Ozzy frickin Osbourne. His fame is rightly deserved (although not due to the reality shows) and it’s ridiculous for anyone to think his fame is inexplicable.
But apparently, your taste is shrouded in crap, evident by the fact that you consider Real Housewives of (insert city name) must-see TV. Those shows are some of the worst TV shows television has to offer. Utter garbage.
I saw the Osbournes Reloaded show…I’m already trying to scrub away the mental scars. The only reason I watched is because I thought it was the OsMONDS, not the OsBOURNES, which I quickly realized when the show started that it. >_<
I live in the Denver area and I couldn’t have watched “Osbournes Reloaded” even if I wanted to, which I did. Instead some holier than thou station exec. decided to show a special on the tenth anniversary(it isn’t until April 20th)of the Columbine massacre instead.
Nice swipe at Barbara Mandrell, you hack. Her show was the last successful (and wildly so) prime-time variety series on tv. She was one of the biggest stars in all of entertainment in the early 80s. For you to look back and call her a “B-list dim light” speaks to your ability to A) judge talent and B) recall history. If you have any questions, check the Country Music Hall of Fame and find her plaque. Her legacy speaks for itself.