The Countess put together a charity event for the American Cancer Society. The Housewives would prepare an elaborately healthy meal for visiting patients at New York’s Hope Lodge. What could go wrong at an event that should so clearly only concentrate on men and women in real need, right? Well, as the women ripped apart a head of romaine lettuce, LuAnn questioned the elegance of Ramona’s Man Magnet prescription for single Bethenny. So Ramona, eyes bugging as LuAnn alluded to the vulnerability of a girl’s reputation, accused LuAnn of knowing nothing about men as she married one twice her age. LuAnn, looking like Glenn Close at her wobbliest in Fatal Attraction, got royally pissed. They snipped back and forth as a pale, bald woman in a baseball cap walked in and out of the shot preparing the food — you know, for the meal to honor cancer patients. LuAnn whined to the camera about how this was supposed to be her night and bitchy Ramona went and ruined it. Way to give it up for charity, ladies.
Meanwhile, Bethenny (pictured) was the cover model for a bi-weekly called Social Life magazine. This was supposed to be her moment and bitchy LuAnn went and ruined it by bringing up the necessity of retouching. I’m not sure what else to say here, other than if Bravo ever gives that awful editor-in-chief Devorah ("Oh my God, kitten, just shut up and be pretty!") any more air time I will be forced to boycott all of their shows.
In the ‘burbs (and that was a cruelly delicious cut from Ramona’s oceanic Hamptons pool to Alex and Simon’s 10-foot inflatable), the couple finally met with a contractor to talk about their ramshackle of a house. They want built-in bookshelves for the collections of Shakespeare and Dickens so Francois can pluck whatever classic down from the shelf whenever the spirit moves him. Fast-forward to a picture of Francois gumming page 38 of Oliver Twist as he makes funny shapes out of Mummy’s bras.
To explain the unique ridiculousness of Alex and Simon to someone unacquainted with this show, I’d present this snippet of dialogue from the scene of them packing for their Caribbean vacation:
ALEX: I probably don’t need the denim ball gown, as much as I love it.
SIMON: I’m going to take these pink jeans.
ALEX: Are you taking your pink loafers too?
How about it, PopWatchers? Last night, with Jill in woefully short supply, was a drag. Is a Real Housewives of New York worth watching without Jill? Who would you rather be stuck in an elevator with — Ramona or Devorah? Did you know they made denim ball gowns?
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Thank you for mentioning the denim ball gown. I had no idea they made those.
I need a copy of the Countess’ etiquette book. I too would love to be an insensitive loon that insults their dearest friends.
I completely hate both Ramona and Luann (okay, and Simon and Alex – although they’re harmless and ridiculous), but after watching Luann once again behave in a “Dis-Countess” way (thanks to Bethenny for the term), she’s edging out the whole nauseating lot of them to the very top my most hated list.
Luann is publishing a book on etiquette? Ha!
Listen, DAHHHHLING, it’s not proper to say mean hateful things to ones friends. A lady knows how to shut her mouth – both when she chews AND when inappropriate comments are trying to make their way out.
loved the review. made me chuckle all over again. i want to like LuAnn but she makes it almost impossible with her snobbish attitude and what’s so funny is that she really doesn’t get that she’s that way. Couldn’t stand Ramona last season but she’s kind of growing on me this time. for someone who likes to flap her mouth, she really doesn’t like confrontation. Bethanny and Jill are defintely my fav’s as they are the most sincere and honest, keeping it real in that ridiculous world. Bethanny, even tho her feelings were hurt, should’ve just said her piece and then let the matter drop instead of goin on about it.Alex and Simon, what can you say, really? they’ve definitely got their own version of reality and are made for each other.
oh and i just read that Alex got laid off from VS and her idea of cutting back is not to go on more shopping sprees. she’s keeping the nanny so that she too won’t be unemployed. must be nice.
I agree.I love Jill and Betheny. The others are nasty and especially the Count-ASS. She must be incredibly unhappy to always want to take the spot light and bash the others. If you have class and manners it isn’t necessary to tell people, they will just know.
I agree.I love Jill and Betheny. The others are nasty and especially the Count-ASS. She must be incredibly unhappy to always want to take the spot light and bash the others. If you have class and manners it isn’t necessary to tell people, they will just know.
Even with the shortage of Jill, the show is rocking as it was awesome to see the Countess sweat for once as she’s usually acting as if she’s above all the drama. And who would have thought that ditzy Ramona would be the one to know which buttons to push. In my eyes, the New York version is picking up steam as there is the core group and when things get sow, the editors sneak the repulsive Simon (looking like a naked plucked chiken on the massage table) and Alex in their make believe world trying to become the next Spencer and Heidi. The desperation and catty enjoyment was best reflected in the edit that you reference from Ramona’s pool to the shack that the wannabes were staying in. And how could you skip the look on the guy who is going to be rehabbing the Brooklyn house. A true guilty pleasure.
If I were Ramona in that kitchen with Luann and I had appologized for calling her husband old (which he is) like 20 times and Luanne kept going on and on, I’d have just said “fine, Im not sorry, you are a golddigger and your husband is old!”
Luann makes me sick.
This show is the best comedy on TV!! I cannot get enough! I liked Bethenny on Martha Stewart’s apprentice and love her now with her neurotic shtick. She calls it as it is. Jill is the well-meaning den mother who everyone wants and needs as a friend. She and Bobby are so cute–they are lucky to have each other the second time around.Luann is making me nauseaous this season. Who the heck does she think she is? She is just overly impressed with her worthless title.
Ramona is a character–love her!
Silex have to be made up–no 2 people on this earth are more obnoxious and disgusting looking. Their kids, especially the “brilliant”Francois, are spoiled brats whose parents are delusional where they are concerned.
However, they DO seem to genuinely love each other. For that, more power to them…
Funniest moment of the entire show-Simon and Alex playing in their backyard blow-up pool!!!
If you want to read another truly breathtakingly hilarious recap of last nite, go to gawker.com.
These recaps are way better than the show itself.
Leave it to Bravo to not disappoint. This is the greatest show! Jill and Bethenny are the best when they are together. It was so ironic that Luann complained about Bethenny “harping” at her regarding the air brushing incident, when Luann totally harped on Ramona (in a mean spirited way) at the Hope Lodge. One sincere heartfelt apology should suffice. What’s wrong Countess? The air getting too thin for you way up on your self-imposed pedestal? Can’t wait for next week. Thanks Bravo.
I dvr’d last night’s episode and just watched, and honestly…I don’t even know where to begin. Yes, I rank Jill and Betheny as among the most “palatable” of the housewives…but Jill groaning on and on about the anxiety and stress of redecorating, which is apparently a 7-year life cycle? I know this was filmed over the summer, slightly before the entire economy went down the toilet, but I don’t know how these women can show their faces in public right now, after throwing their “wealth” (inflatable germ pool, anyone?) in the audience’s face. And my heart broke for the cancer patient lurking in the background of the ridiculousness that was unfolding around her, for which she now must applaud. Part of me thinks I should just stop watching this show because they all make me want to puke, but, at the end of the day, I feel pretty good about myself and my life when I see the superficiality with which they live their “real” lives. Oh, yeah, and LuAnn…gross. Totally gross.
What a pathetic group of over-indulgent, catty, self-absorbed, generally unattractive women. Such poor examples of self-respect, conscience, and compassion. None of them appear educated, cultured or interesting. Bethenny may be sharp-witted and critical, but with embarrassingly fake, inflated breasts and aggressive manners. Jill seems to have heart, but no idea how superficial her needs and “requirements” are, and what a poor example of self-restraint she is to her daughter. Ramona is less mature and self-confident than her bewildered daughter. Her spastic eye and body movements are medically troubling. LuAnn has some physical grace and that’s about it. Her wildly exaggerated self-importance and delusional claims to “class” are insulting. “Titles” in Europe are of little consequence unless preceded by King or Queen. Alex and Simon, in their shallow, clawing attempt to present themselves and their sons as smart, chic, or in any way remarkable, are not worth acknowledging at all.
Life needs passion.
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Love love Jill and Bethany – they are my favorites.
Ramona is hilarious. She knows how to stick and move.
LuAnn…oh sorry Countess LuAnn is a lunatic.
Alex and Simon are 2 of the craziest people I have ever seen on TV. What planet did they come from?
I love, love love this show–it is so absurd–stranger than fiction–a writer could not make this stuff up, or if he did, he would be accused of being overly dramatic and out of touch with reality. I refer to all of the “Housewives” series as my gratitude journal–after watching them, I am so content with my life and happy not to be them–their lives, marriages, children, etc, etc etc, are a mess–is this what money does to a person? If so, then no thanks!
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How about Luann’s comment to Ramona – it was something like “Your eyes are like that for a reason Ramona, becuase you’re crazy!” – that’s great etiquette remarking on your “friend’s” looks!
So far Kelly is really not fitting in for me. She and Ramona went to that model museum and, of course, Ramona was the interesting one there. She never knows when to stop talking. Kelly just isn’t interesting at all to watch.
Luann you are a f-ing countess get your hair done!!! Before you go to an event!
Someone needs to drown the Count and Countess in the Panama Canal this way they could truly be where they belong!!!!!!!!!!!
LuAnn GET OVER YOURSELF! You are NOT CLASSY at all! Write a book on class? Bethany has more class then you and your smokers voice could ever dream of having! You are so puffed up and full of yourself! You think more highly of yourself then you ought too. You comment on Ramonas bug eyes, you take away bethanys moment of glory, you basically call ramonas husband ugly. Your actions at that one charity event where you went up and told everyone to BE Quiet then went back to your table and chattered away rudely, are despicable! You have no class and its apparent your husband married you only for your looks back at 27 years old. Get over your “countess” thing. French titles mean nothing here and your actions sure do not warrent respect. Stop drawing attention to your title that means nothing. I love that Bethany called you out on your book saying that just because your a countess does not mean that you know more about class and etiquite then anyone else. Shes so right.
I adore Bethenny. She is marvelous and makes me laugh out loud repeatedly.
My favorite moment last night, by far, was when Alex and Simon were self-consciously chattering about how “glad” they were that they “waited” three years to redecorate, since they’ve had “so many ideas” but now they are “sure” of what they want. So it’s good that they waited! All of this pressure to redecorate is so pedestrian!
Right. Or, you can’t afford it.
I love how the show’s producers/editors, who were initially so sympathetic to those two, have completely turned the corner and now overtly edit the show to highlight their delicious and absurd hypocrisy. The pool was another great moment.
With all due respect, Ramona comes across as classless and clueless. I agree that the Countess actions were inappropriate at the Cancer event, but Ramona is full of herself.
Jill seems to be the most grounded person. Betheny’s reactions to LuAnn’s “airbrush” remark were over the top and showed her insecurities. I agree with the others, it is like watching a train wreck. Leave Alex’s family alone.
I think Bethenny and Jill are the only decent people in the show. Luanne shows glimmers of it; but in general, she’s so busy being smug and full of herself, I can hardly tolerate her. HOWEVER… all in all, even including the woman without a social filter, Ramona, this group of women is FIVE THOUSAND times classier than the Orange County dimwits. There isn’t a redeemable quality shared between the lot of those bleached, silicone nightmares and their loser children.
When you sign on for reality TV, it is edited to produce this drama. None of this is real life.
As far as the NY housewives vs. their OC counterparts, I cannot relate to the NY women because they are too rich. At least the OC housewives come from Middle America.
will somebody please check if the countess is authentic. I have no doubt she is married to a count. However, the title does not automatically move to the wife. the ruling king of queen has to bestow the title. Example, prince charles and di. she had to be given the title… sarah ferguson was not a princess, even though andrew was a prince.
Add me to the list of those who adore Jill and Bethenny and can’t stand LuAnn and Silex (I like that!). LuAnn must be delusional if she doesn’t think that her husband is an old man. She is such a snob and doesn’t do a very good job in rasing her kids. Simon & Alex are such an ugly pair, and that Francois is really something. Why don’t they get his hair cut? I also can’t stand Kelly. Why don’t they spin off a show that is just Jill and Bethenny? I would watch it all the time. I rooted for Bethenny when she was on Martha Stuart Apprentist, which I thought was alot better show that the Donald Trump version.