The Countess put together a charity event for the American Cancer Society. The Housewives would prepare an elaborately healthy meal for visiting patients at New York’s Hope Lodge. What could go wrong at an event that should so clearly only concentrate on men and women in real need, right? Well, as the women ripped apart a head of romaine lettuce, LuAnn questioned the elegance of Ramona’s Man Magnet prescription for single Bethenny. So Ramona, eyes bugging as LuAnn alluded to the vulnerability of a girl’s reputation, accused LuAnn of knowing nothing about men as she married one twice her age. LuAnn, looking like Glenn Close at her wobbliest in Fatal Attraction, got royally pissed. They snipped back and forth as a pale, bald woman in a baseball cap walked in and out of the shot preparing the food — you know, for the meal to honor cancer patients. LuAnn whined to the camera about how this was supposed to be her night and bitchy Ramona went and ruined it. Way to give it up for charity, ladies.
Meanwhile, Bethenny (pictured) was the cover model for a bi-weekly called Social Life magazine. This was supposed to be her moment and bitchy LuAnn went and ruined it by bringing up the necessity of retouching. I’m not sure what else to say here, other than if Bravo ever gives that awful editor-in-chief Devorah ("Oh my God, kitten, just shut up and be pretty!") any more air time I will be forced to boycott all of their shows.
In the ‘burbs (and that was a cruelly delicious cut from Ramona’s oceanic Hamptons pool to Alex and Simon’s 10-foot inflatable), the couple finally met with a contractor to talk about their ramshackle of a house. They want built-in bookshelves for the collections of Shakespeare and Dickens so Francois can pluck whatever classic down from the shelf whenever the spirit moves him. Fast-forward to a picture of Francois gumming page 38 of Oliver Twist as he makes funny shapes out of Mummy’s bras.
To explain the unique ridiculousness of Alex and Simon to someone unacquainted with this show, I’d present this snippet of dialogue from the scene of them packing for their Caribbean vacation:
ALEX: I probably don’t need the denim ball gown, as much as I love it.
SIMON: I’m going to take these pink jeans.
ALEX: Are you taking your pink loafers too?
How about it, PopWatchers? Last night, with Jill in woefully short supply, was a drag. Is a Real Housewives of New York worth watching without Jill? Who would you rather be stuck in an elevator with — Ramona or Devorah? Did you know they made denim ball gowns?
Thank you for mentioning the denim ball gown. I had no idea they made those.
I need a copy of the Countess’ etiquette book. I too would love to be an insensitive loon that insults their dearest friends.
I completely hate both Ramona and Luann (okay, and Simon and Alex – although they’re harmless and ridiculous), but after watching Luann once again behave in a “Dis-Countess” way (thanks to Bethenny for the term), she’s edging out the whole nauseating lot of them to the very top my most hated list.
Luann is publishing a book on etiquette? Ha!
Listen, DAHHHHLING, it’s not proper to say mean hateful things to ones friends. A lady knows how to shut her mouth – both when she chews AND when inappropriate comments are trying to make their way out.
loved the review. made me chuckle all over again. i want to like LuAnn but she makes it almost impossible with her snobbish attitude and what’s so funny is that she really doesn’t get that she’s that way. Couldn’t stand Ramona last season but she’s kind of growing on me this time. for someone who likes to flap her mouth, she really doesn’t like confrontation. Bethanny and Jill are defintely my fav’s as they are the most sincere and honest, keeping it real in that ridiculous world. Bethanny, even tho her feelings were hurt, should’ve just said her piece and then let the matter drop instead of goin on about it.Alex and Simon, what can you say, really? they’ve definitely got their own version of reality and are made for each other.
oh and i just read that Alex got laid off from VS and her idea of cutting back is not to go on more shopping sprees. she’s keeping the nanny so that she too won’t be unemployed. must be nice.
I agree.I love Jill and Betheny. The others are nasty and especially the Count-ASS. She must be incredibly unhappy to always want to take the spot light and bash the others. If you have class and manners it isn’t necessary to tell people, they will just know.
I agree.I love Jill and Betheny. The others are nasty and especially the Count-ASS. She must be incredibly unhappy to always want to take the spot light and bash the others. If you have class and manners it isn’t necessary to tell people, they will just know.
Even with the shortage of Jill, the show is rocking as it was awesome to see the Countess sweat for once as she’s usually acting as if she’s above all the drama. And who would have thought that ditzy Ramona would be the one to know which buttons to push. In my eyes, the New York version is picking up steam as there is the core group and when things get sow, the editors sneak the repulsive Simon (looking like a naked plucked chiken on the massage table) and Alex in their make believe world trying to become the next Spencer and Heidi. The desperation and catty enjoyment was best reflected in the edit that you reference from Ramona’s pool to the shack that the wannabes were staying in. And how could you skip the look on the guy who is going to be rehabbing the Brooklyn house. A true guilty pleasure.
If I were Ramona in that kitchen with Luann and I had appologized for calling her husband old (which he is) like 20 times and Luanne kept going on and on, I’d have just said “fine, Im not sorry, you are a golddigger and your husband is old!”
Luann makes me sick.
This show is the best comedy on TV!! I cannot get enough! I liked Bethenny on Martha Stewart’s apprentice and love her now with her neurotic shtick. She calls it as it is. Jill is the well-meaning den mother who everyone wants and needs as a friend. She and Bobby are so cute–they are lucky to have each other the second time around.Luann is making me nauseaous this season. Who the heck does she think she is? She is just overly impressed with her worthless title.
Ramona is a character–love her!
Silex have to be made up–no 2 people on this earth are more obnoxious and disgusting looking. Their kids, especially the “brilliant”Francois, are spoiled brats whose parents are delusional where they are concerned.
However, they DO seem to genuinely love each other. For that, more power to them…
Funniest moment of the entire show-Simon and Alex playing in their backyard blow-up pool!!!
If you want to read another truly breathtakingly hilarious recap of last nite, go to gawker.com.
These recaps are way better than the show itself.
Leave it to Bravo to not disappoint. This is the greatest show! Jill and Bethenny are the best when they are together. It was so ironic that Luann complained about Bethenny “harping” at her regarding the air brushing incident, when Luann totally harped on Ramona (in a mean spirited way) at the Hope Lodge. One sincere heartfelt apology should suffice. What’s wrong Countess? The air getting too thin for you way up on your self-imposed pedestal? Can’t wait for next week. Thanks Bravo.
I dvr’d last night’s episode and just watched, and honestly…I don’t even know where to begin. Yes, I rank Jill and Betheny as among the most “palatable” of the housewives…but Jill groaning on and on about the anxiety and stress of redecorating, which is apparently a 7-year life cycle? I know this was filmed over the summer, slightly before the entire economy went down the toilet, but I don’t know how these women can show their faces in public right now, after throwing their “wealth” (inflatable germ pool, anyone?) in the audience’s face. And my heart broke for the cancer patient lurking in the background of the ridiculousness that was unfolding around her, for which she now must applaud. Part of me thinks I should just stop watching this show because they all make me want to puke, but, at the end of the day, I feel pretty good about myself and my life when I see the superficiality with which they live their “real” lives. Oh, yeah, and LuAnn…gross. Totally gross.
What a pathetic group of over-indulgent, catty, self-absorbed, generally unattractive women. Such poor examples of self-respect, conscience, and compassion. None of them appear educated, cultured or interesting. Bethenny may be sharp-witted and critical, but with embarrassingly fake, inflated breasts and aggressive manners. Jill seems to have heart, but no idea how superficial her needs and “requirements” are, and what a poor example of self-restraint she is to her daughter. Ramona is less mature and self-confident than her bewildered daughter. Her spastic eye and body movements are medically troubling. LuAnn has some physical grace and that’s about it. Her wildly exaggerated self-importance and delusional claims to “class” are insulting. “Titles” in Europe are of little consequence unless preceded by King or Queen. Alex and Simon, in their shallow, clawing attempt to present themselves and their sons as smart, chic, or in any way remarkable, are not worth acknowledging at all.