About four times a year, Colorado judge Paul Sacco punishes people convicted of violating local noise ordinances by forcing them to sit in a room and listen to music they absolutely loathe for an hour straight. He claims the unusual sentence, which has included intense sessions of Barry Manilow, Barney the Dinosaur, and The Platters’ "Only You," has cut down on the number of repeat offenders. Manilow is definitely not my cup of tea, but I imagine being able to let it kind of melt over me after 10 minutes or so. Should I ever be caught making a racket in Sacco’s neck of the woods, he could best punish me with Whitney Houston’s "I Will Always Love You," Michael Bolton’s "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You," with Kenny G on sax (clip below), anything by ABBA, or, yeah, Barney the Dinosaur. Your turn, PopWatchers. What music would have you longing for a good old-fashioned caning?
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Comments (1-30) of 39 Add your comment
“No One” by Alicia Keys. I know people love that song, but it might be THE shrillest song I’ve ever heard. Although my eardrums would probably explode after a couple of runt-throughs, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
MICHAEL BOLTON IS A GOD AMONG MEN!
Anything from the Jersey Boys soundtrack or anything from that era — it’s like nails on a chalk board for me. I probably could handle Michael Bolton as long as it was just listening to him, and not watching his cheesy, long-haired videos.
“Savvveeeed BY Zeeee-roooo!”
Honestly, I can’t stand the 15 or 30-second commercials with that song. If I had to listen to the snippet used in the commercial for an hour, I’d probably hang myself after a few minutes.
“Saved by Zero! Saved by Zero!”
The second “Let’s all talk about something we hate” post, huh? Okay, I’ll give you mine — gangsta rap. But I’m beginning to wonder if there’s not some plan to get us to express our negative feelings in items like these, as opposed to what is really p*ssing us off in pop culture, which EW has been force-feeding us for the last five months.
I love Hanson, but listening to MMMBOP for an hour straight might kill me.
Any one of those Rod Stewart Great American Songbook albums—they make me want to run. Far away.
I agree with NK about “No One” by Alicia Keys. Just thinking about it makes me wince.
But the song that would really do me in is “Heroes” by Mariah Carey.
Any sort of loud, obnoxiously repetitive house music would effectively send me running and screaming in the opposite direction with heels kicking and purse flying. Also, any song I really like constantly interrupted by a DJ every two or three bars of music with pointless “banter”.
Two words. Jessica. Simpson.
Blasphemy, I know, but I cannot stand James Taylor.
ABBA rules. You are a tool
I’d rather be punched in the junk for an hour than listen to a Celine Dion album. Make it two hours if I had to actually watch her perform.
Nickelback, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Nickelback, Creed, Jessica Simpson, Nickelback, anything on the Top 40 in the last 5 years, Nickelback.
Leave ABBA alone! I can see how The Winner Takes it All can be annoying, but the rest of the stuff is good.
1. The Saved by Zero commerical
2. Whitney’s I’ll always Love You
3. Anything by Celine Dionne
4. I will Survive by Gloria Gaynor. This song will be banned at my wedding whenever it will happen.
5. Anything by Michael Bolton
6. How Bizaar?
7. MMM-Bop!
8. Anything by The Backstreet Boys
9. “This is the song that doesn’t end!!”
10. Meatloaf:
A) I will Do Anything
B) Two Out of Three. This is one of the most OVERPLAYED breakup ballads ever!
I might be alone in this, but I actually like Barry Manilow and Michael Bolton – I can’t stand the ‘tween pop stars like Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers… most annoying music out there today
That song on the Dell commercial that starts, “I am greeeeeeeeen today, I chirp with joy like a cricket . . .” I get so angry I think about smashing my own Dell laptop.
It really is a toss up between the Saved by Zero commercial, James Taylor, and Barbara Streisand. And if it was all three right after the other… oh please God, no.
Blink 182
Ace of Base
Good Charlotte
*I feel sick already*
Abba is horrible. We Are Family would get me on a hunt for cyanide. Lady Marmalade I look for a noose. Abba, I kill the world.
Wow. That clip is 3 minutes and 14 seconds of doo. I think playing that on a loop would be enough to do me in. You can throw me in a “call me big Bertha” prison if you add in a Jessica and Ashlee Simpson duet with Pete Wentz playing.
Country music, death metal, and anything squeaked out by teenagers would have me begging for mercy- especially country.
Ah, come on–Abba is fun! As for me, I’d much rather take the lash than listen to “punishment music.” At least the lash is over in a short while–the music just plays over and over in your head until you go mad. Forget waterboarding–just play Mariah or Celine screeching for a while. Or Blinded by the Light, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, Dreamweaver, Seasons in the Sun, solo Stevie Nicks, any of the current teeny bopper lineup, or any of the current “hits” that are nothing but two lines repeated until your head explodes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa — what’s wrong with the Platters??? I love ‘Only You’!!
Really ABBA? i find that hard to believe but hey whatever floats your boat eh… you should hear their more obscure tracks that are not on ABBA Gold- they were actually a very adventurous group and a little bit ahead of their time…
but anyway- Aything post Mottola Mariah I can’t stand and would rather shoot myself in the foot. And I guess the audiobook of Twilight will make me want to rip someones head off
Good call on the Rod Stewart, gypsy–my folks are way into those things, and I hate them (the albums, not my folks).
Most pop-country, jazz solos, and teeny-bopper bands. Also, the one that would kill me, the KidsBop CDs. I can’t stand the commercial let alone the entire CD!
I mostly just think there’s something wrong with you for not liking ABBA…
I think I’d take the caning over an hour of speed metal or tuneless punk…anything else I think I could manage to survive without serious eardrum bleedage.
Do you remember that episode of The Mole where a contestant had to stay in a hotel room overnight(for about 8 hours or more) while there was continuous loop of Don Ho’s “Tiny Bubbles” playing? It looked excrutiating! I think I’d kill myself if I had to listen to severe technopop for more than 10 minutes. I’d rather listen to 10 hours of “Tiny Bubbles”…I think