Some country music fans consider Brad Paisley the king of comedy, but that could just be because they haven’t yet sat down for a drink with Blake Shelton, or heard about "Bare Skin Rug," the duet he sings with girlfriend Miranda Lambert on his new album, Startin’ Fires. "We’d been gettin’ some pressure to do a big ballady cheesy thing, and we decided that if we’re gonna do a duet, it’s gonna be on our terms," Shelton told us last week, ordering another Diet Coke and Bacardi at the midtown Manhattan dive Jimmy’s Corner
and asking us if we needed a nipple for the bottle we were nursin’. "So we wrote this song that’s basically about two hillbillies that meet up out in the middle of nowhere, and they’re attracted to each other, and the thing that they’re really excited about is that they’re not related to each other, so they end up hookin’ up. We recorded the song the same way that we wrote it, which was just sittin’ around a campfire behind my house. If people ever cared about what it was like being around us at the house, that’s it. That’s what happens when we’re at the house, alone, and we’re not makin’ out or somethin’." (If people have ever wondered what happens when Shelton and Lambert hit NYC in late November: he ends up in the bar in the basement of Macy’s, and plans the date — dinner and a show, Jersey Boys — that will have to last her until deer season is over back home in Oklahoma.)
After the jump, Shelton, People magazine’s reigning Sexiest Country Singer, shares even more intimate details about his life in our Pop Culture Personality Test. Note: There really is nothing sexier than a straight man expressing love for The Golden Girls…
EW: When do you yell at the TV? Anytime that the ArizonaCardinals play football, I scream at the top of my lungs at thetelevision. And I have certain dances that I do. [Stands up] Like, if we get a touchdown, it’s like [moonwalks]. A field goal is just [snaps fingers repeatedly] with a high-pitched noise with it.
Your guilty pleasure dance song? Miranda has a song [Beyoncé’s "Irreplaceable"]on her phone that says, "To the left, to the left, everything you ownin a box to the left." I can’t help but dance when somebody calls her… The Doobie Brothers’ "What a Fool Believes" makes me want to move. And I still haven’t gotten over the Macarena. Who has?
Do you smuggle snacks into the movie theater? No. But I will tell you the last time I went to a movie theater was to see Liar Liar [in 1997]. That was THE last time I was ever in a movie theater to watch a movie. [EW: Why is that?] I don’t see why you would leave the house to go do that.That blows me away. Why would you do that? [EW: Because you wanna see a movie right when it comes out?]I guess I never realize when somethin’ comes out. I always wait till Ican order it in a hotel room… And then I go by whatever review I’vegotten in my latest edition of Entertainment Weekly. [EW: Nice save.]
A movie that made you cry? City of Angels. I criedat the end of that movie, through the credits, and for 30 minutes ofThe Weather Channel after the movie was totally over. That is theworst, that is bull—- to end a movie like that, is it not? Million Dollar Baby, I bawled. I bawled.
If you could have written any song, what would it be? "Home" by Michael Bublé. That’s been a big hit two times now. [Shelton’s 2008 coveralso went to No. 1.] Michael Bublé is seriously my favoriteentertainer. Have you ever seen the guy in concert? He’s hilarious.Women love him. Guys want to meet him. He has everything that I wish Icould do onstage. And I’m guessin’ he’s a good-lookin’ guy — although he’snot one of People magazine’s sexiest men.
Your position on karaoke? Love karaoke. My specialty is Tracy Byrd’s "I’m From the Country." I will get absolutely belligerentlydrunk if they have music by Tracy Byrd on karaoke. And I’m not afraid.There’s never a hesitation. I’m in. I’m goin’ for it tonight. "Watermelon Crawl," all day long. [EW: Your worst karaoke misfire?] "We’re Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister. I don’t do that one very good at all. It’s terrible. And "Red Red Wine." Seems like that would be a good one to do, but it doesn’t go over like you think. Nobody’s partying.
Your last pop-culture related fight? Last night, I had an argument with [my publicist and my manager] about a movie called Sommersby. Wasn’t that a pretty big movie? [EW: Richard Gere and Jodie Foster. Yeah.]Thank you! Well, these people, who claim to be movie buffs, not onlyhave they not seen it, they never heard of it. I’ve never been sofrustrated, because they’re both goin’ "Richard Gere. I love RichardGere. I’ve seen every one of his movies." Really? Have you seen Sommersby?And just silence…. I’ll tell you the other thing that bothers me, Idon’t think people realize the value and the brilliance of The Golden Girls.My favorite bit ever was when Blanche got upset, ran down the hall andslammed the door, and Dorothy and Rose both followed her to the door,and Dorothy’s beatin’ on the door, "Blanche! Blanche!," and she won’tanswer, and Rose says, "I know she’s in there." And then the episodewhere Rose can’t figure out why if you eat somethin’ that’s fatteningright now, it takes two or three days to show up, and she says, "Wheredoes the fat go for two days?," and Dorothy says, "Connecticut, Rose."Those are awesome lines.
Your pop culture blind spot? The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I’ve never seen that. I don’t know what that is. High School Musical. I had no idea that was a big deal ’til about the past month or so, and now part three is out.
The person you wrote a fan letter to when you were young? Kelly Willis. She was a Texas artist, and I sent $2.50 to her fan club or whatever for a poster of her, and I didn’t know at the time that you shouldn’t put real money, with coins, in an envelope. I don’t think it ever got to her. It’s the only fan letter and money I ever sent to a fan club, and I never got my picture of Kelly Willis. [EW: Have you ever met her?] I met her last week at the CMAs, and it was terrible. I told myself right before I went to introduce myself, I shouldn’t do this. She hadn’t heard of me, which is not shocking. But when she picks up her latest issue of People, she’s gonna be kickin’ herself.
The piece of pop culture memorabilia from your childhood you wish you still had? I collected two things: The California Raisins from Hardee’s. They had a different one each week. I think I had all of ‘em. And when Gremlins came out, Hardee’s, one of the only fast food restaurants we had in my hometown [Ada, Okla.], had a 45 that had, like, three minutes of some scene from the movie that you could listen to. You got a little picture booklet to follow along with it. That’s gotta be worth somethin’.
The first celebrity you befriended? [Thinks] Earl Thomas Conley, my favorite singer of all time. I got a chance to write with him when I got my record deal. And then most recently, and one of the ones I’m more excited about, is Ted Nugent. Ted Nugent actually called me, exactly a week ago, and preceded to chew my a– out for touring and/or working during deer season.
The thing you’ve always wanted to buy, but you’re just too embarrassed to? Hot tub. Where I live in Oklahoma, it’s all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot tub back there, I may as well have Richard Simmons come over and live with me.
Your funniest mistaken identity story? At one point, I wore the cowboy hat, and I let my hair get so long, that a couple of times I was confused for [female country singer] Terri Clark. At Fan Fair, from a distance, I heard somebody yell the word "Terri!" at me. That’s when I decided I’m cuttin’ the hair.
The cheesy ballad you can’t help but love? "Morning Desire" by Kenny Rogers. It’s about waking up with a Beckham [a reference to Lambert’s favorite Armani underwear ad], when you get down to it. That’ll be what it is from now on: Waking up with a "Beckham."
The chick flick you secretly, or not so secretly, enjoy? There are two: I love Steel Magnolias. That’s greatness. And I like The Upside of Anger. Isn’t that kind of a girl-type movie?
The movie you have to watch every time you spot it on cable? Pure Country with George Strait. And Dumb and Dumber, which used to be on TNT or TBS all the time.
The subject we don’t want to get you started on? People thatdress disrespectfully for awards shows and/or the Grand Ole Opry. Idon’t like when people show up lookin’ like they just got done workin’on their damn car. That’s the most disrespectful thing I can possiblyimagine somebody doing to country music. I could go on and on about it.
Your worst DVR mishap? I have a satellite system in the front of the tour bus and in the back of the tour bus, where my bedroom is. And when Miranda’s on the bus, she always programs it to save Law & Order episodes. I had things on there that I had selected for times when Miranda’s not around. And so, Miranda got back there and erased all of the programming that I had selected, and put a parental block with a code on my DVRs. So now, there’s nothing but Law & Order episodes DVR’d on my tour bus. And NASCAR races, because I guess those are G-rated.
Watch Blake Shelton’s latest video, "She Wouldn’t Be Gone"