Aside from a mortifying stint on Celebrity Fit Club, the majority of Maureen McCormick’s new memoir reads like a generic checklist of bad things that can happen to child stars, mixed with tedious musings about being "blessed and cursed by the same thing." Don’t feel like shelling out $20 to hear the story of Here’s the Story? Well, in short order:
—McCormick had a wild crush on set on Barry Williams (Greg Brady); he, in turn, had a crush on Florence Henderson.
—She got miffed when a much-younger Eve Plumb began to develop breasts first.
—She quickly lost interest in schoolwork and "ordinary" friends. Drinking, shoplifting, ice-skating with Michael Jackson: These were the norms of her celebrity-studded adolescence.
—After her high school graduation, The Brady Bunch came to an end, and McCormick’s life devolved into a predictable and toxic Hollywood cocktail of alcohol, drugs, abortions (at least two), serious depression, bulimia, and more.
I don’t want to demean what happened to McCormick, which is very sad, but if there ever was a book that didn’t need to be written, it’s this one. If you think you’ve read it before, well, you have—or something exactly like it. Which got me wondering: Which celebrity memoirs have you actually found worthwhile? Make your recommendations in the comments section below, and spare a Brady Bunch fan from hours of ennui.
More on Maureen McCormick, ‘The Brady Bunch,’ and celebrity memoirs:
A Q&A with Maureen McCormick about her country-music ambitions
Literary cred for Tori Spelling
A ‘Brady Bunch’ classic line makes our list of 24 Endlessly Quotable TV Quips
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This memior hasn’t exactly been written yet, but I’m looking forward to LC’s once The Hills is over – find out what really happened…
Maureen is 52 years old and I still wouldn’t kick her out of my bed! DAMN!!!
Two abortions? Now trying to cash in with a book advertising her filthy past? I couldn’t sleep at night if I were her.
Maybe I’m biased because I’m absolutely in love with Sting, but I enjoyed his memoir “Broken Music”. It’s not your typical ‘this is what happened after my celeb status waned’, but instead focuses on his life before The Police. It tells about his childhood, when he feel in love with music, how he got the nickname Sting, his first love and the loss of that love…and when he met Trudy (his current wife). It’s a very easy and compelling read.
On that note, the memoir I really disliked (and couldn’t even get through) was Rupert Everett. I read somewhere that it was supposed to be a great book, how it read like a gossip novel spilling secrets about actors he’s worked with (Madonna, Julia Roberts, etc). Ugh, I couldn’t have been more disappointed. I thought the way he wrote was very obscure and difficult to understand at some times. Granted this is just my opinion, but I was very disappointed.
well i’m not sure if i found it worthwhile, but i loved every second of sTORI telling, tori spelling’s memoir. i’m just sayin’…
Mia Farrow – What Falls Away.
I had to read the book for a class in college and I was riveted.
Mia Farrow’s autobiography was excellent. Not just lots of dirt but also REALLY well written. She’s led a facsinating life.
Andy Taylor’s autobio of his life in Duran Duran. There was a lot of stuff I already knew about (even though I was just a kid in the 80s), but it was cool to hear his side of the story. All of the details and odd little sidebars were fascinating. I couldn’t put it down.
Two auto bios I highly recommend are Tanya Tucker and Loni Anderson. Very good reads!
I forgot, the mother of all autobios is “Elvis and Me” by Priscilla Presley.
Bruce Campbell’s “If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor” is a wonderful chronicle of getting into and trying to stay in the movie business. It’s funny and well-told, honest but not overly serious.
You might laugh or roll your eyes, but No Lifeguard on Duty by Janice Dickenson was excellent. She’s led a very fast paced life and had lots of stories to tell. After reading what happened to her in childhood I can’t blame her for her character flaws now. I never heard of Mia Farrow’s but I will pick it up after two recommendations.
read them ages and ages ago but was moved by Lauren Chapin’s (from Father Knows Best) and definitely loved Carol Burnett’s
Scar Tissue by Anthony Keidis. I don’t think I realized how recent his drug problem were. Plus, you gain a new understanding of their music.
Gloria Swanson’s “Swanson by Swanson;” Lorna Luft’s “Me and My Shadows” (about mom Judy Garland); Shelley Winters’ “Shelley Also Known as Shirley” were good, as were the previously mentioned books by Lauren Bacall and Lauren Chapin (“Father Does Know Best”).
The most fun to read is Liz Renay’s “My Face for the World to See.” Renay was a stripper and B-movie actress who went to prison for refusing to rat out her gangster boyfriend. SUPER-trashy and laugh-out-loud funny.
Marcia Brady a base head! Say it ain’t so!
Recommend: Bring On the Empty Horses
I loved Alan Alda’s “Never Have Your Dog Stuffed.” I have never seen an episode of M*A*S*H in my life, but for some reason I read this book anyway– and it was excellent.
sTORI Telling by Tori Spelling was a good book…
True story: I got my name when my mom was pregnant with me and reading Lauren Bacall’s autobiography.
When it comes to the ones I’ve read, I really liked Patty Hearst’s Every Secret Thing. Really fascinating story, and you wonder what she’s NOT telling.
I love to read biographies, to see what really went on behind the scenes. I grew up w/the Brady Bunch and had a very dysfunctional family, it gave my mind a framework for what a “whole” family looked like and how they might function. Pure fantasy, of course. Imagine if we were the actress asked to represent that fantasy to the world and then had an actual life with problems like everyone’s. I might have depressed and confused, too.
“My Name Escapes Me” and anything else by Alec Guinness. He never dishes dirt or puts down other people (except perhaps, gently, Star Wars fans) but I laughed out loud constantly while reading this book. He was the epitome of class and wit and apparently the polar opposite of ol’ Marcia Brady here.
I really enjoyed “The Animal in Hollywood”. It is the story of west coast mobster Anthony Fiato–”The Animal” and his stint as a turncoat. The trial he was involved in was at the same time as OJ’s so it did not get much TV coverage.
A Paper Life by Tatum O’Neill was excellent. It’s a really interesting look at how fame affects everyone differently, and a unique view of Hollywood in the 1970’s.
Underneath It All~Traci Lords.
This was a good story.
What do you expect from the talmudic deception paradigm called Hollywood? The reason why it’s so common is because it’s controlled by the same religo-ideology. You are how you think.
-Judaism Discovered- by M Hoffman.
Your article was the one that should not have been written. Different celebs have different importance to different fans. I’m glad Maureen had a carthetic experience writing her book, and I know fans of hers will want to read it. Why not be honest about the content or find yourself a new occupation. You don’t seem to enjoy your current position.
Direct responses welcome…
John Caveman Green
lancelotlinc AT yahoo DOT com
Has there ever been one of these types of “tell all” books that didn’t claim sexual abuse by a parent or other adult? The sexual abuse mantra seems to be a right of passage for a lot of Hollywood stars. I’m sorry for the problems in her life, but who cares? A better story would be about the TV executives who exploit child stars by not giving a damn what happens to them during or after their careers.
I actually read Tori Spelling’s book “sTori Telling” (after resisting for months) and I really enjoyed it. I learned a lot of things about Tori that I didn’t know, and I thought it was humerous and fascinating. So, I definitely think it was an example of a good celebrity memoir (despite the goofy title). Also, I enjoyed Allison Sweeny’s book “All the Days of My Life…So Far,” though not as much as Tori’s since it focused too much on her weight problems. Still, it was a good read (again, despite the obvious and unoriginal title).
I can’t believe no one has mentioned Joe Pantoliano’s autobiography “Who’s Sorry Now?”. This was a great read about a hard working guy who became a success despite all kinds of adversity thrown at him.
Mia Farrow’s “What Falls Away” is lovely, cinematic, dreamy, friendy. I read it twice. Her life has taken her to such different places with such interesting people, it’s not just “My career crashed, I did drugs, I found redemption, now I’m on a reality show.”