Oscar winner, lovable snob, and confirmed MILF Gwyneth Paltrow has done her share of celebrity shilling (Estée Lauder perfume, charity t-shirts, etc.), and we never minded. It’s not like she’s got a rich husband to pay the bills, right? But her deal with luxury haberdasher Tod’s is feeling a little ill-fated. First, Gwynnie got slammed by PETA this summer or wearing fur in a Tod’s ad. And now the actress stars in an unintentionally hilarious six minute short film (click here to watch it), written and directed by none other than Dennis Hopper. It’s a loopy love letter to Italian cinema, circus performers, and the Tod’s Pashmy Bag, and let me just say that the whole clip packs an extraordinarily high WTF-per-minute ratio; if Hopper was shooting for Fellini, he ended up with Farrelly. Check our minute-by-minute reactions after the jump, the let us know what you think:
0:02 Wait. This thing is directed by Dennis Hopper? TheDennis Hopper? [Note: This isn’t nearly as surprising once you watchthe movie and realize that no one but Hopper could possibly have madesomething this crazy.]
0:05 “Starring Gwyneth Paltrow & The Tod’s Pashmy Bag” Ah, how the mighty have fallen. Eight years ago, she was man-handling Oscar; today, she splits top billing with leather goods.
0:31Paltrow buys a single rose, gifts it to a street performer. Becauseshe’s JUST THAT GENEROUS. Street performer is visibly peeved to havereceived a flower instead of, say, 20 bucks, or an autograph that couldbe sold for the same amount.
0:45 Paltrow meets her superhunky Italian interviewer (let’s call him Marcello)and carefully places her Tod’s Pashmy Bag on a chair. The bag gets itsown shot and everything. At this point I’m wondering if we’re going togo down a Lars and the Real Girl road where Gwynnie starts cracking jokes with the bag. (“You know what, Pashmy? You’re no slouch! HA!”).
1:05Paparazzi swarm the interview. Gwyneth spooks like a horse and makes arun for it—leaving her bag! Poor Pashmy, all alone with thatcut-from-marble journalist…on a beautiful day…in Italy… Hm. DidGwyneth lose the bag, or did the bag just ditch a third wheel?
1:20 “Gweenett! You bag!” Marcello chases G down the street with the purse, but she slips into a getaway car.
1:50 Marcello sulks away, looking classy and manly even with a purse over his shoulder. Damn. European guys can pull off anything.
2:00 Marcello drives up to G’s party on a Vespa. What, no gondola?
2:50 After losing G again in the din of the red carpet, Marcello gets into the party using his press pass. Or maybe just his smile…
3:15 Film geek note: is the party music actually Nino Rota, or just a soundalike?
4:20 M finally spots G, cutting a rug with some circusperformers. She looks slammin, but La Paltrow’s acting chops havehistorically hit a wall when she’s asked to feign interest in clowns(e.g., Jack Black in Shallow Hal).
4:45 Feeling a little playful, Marcello starts diggingthrough G’s purse. Does he find…sunflower seed snack packs? AColdplay album? A lock of Madonna’s hair? Nope, just her wallet. Thisis getting creepy…
5:00 M enlists a clown to give G her wallet, then her keys.Hang on a sec. A stranger is using circus freaks to give back herpossessions one by one, and this is supposed to be charming? RUN AWAY,Gwyneth!
5:50 G and Pashmy finally have a joyous reunion, followed by a dance with Marcello. Fellini rolls in his grave [<--- not shown].
So what do you think PopWatchers? Is Paltrow’s ad a luxury item or just a high-price bag of crap?
Comments (1-30) of 57 Add your comment
Seriously, what was the point of this vid? Crappy ad.
That was weird… Kind of reminiscent of Nicole Kidman in that Chanel ad by Baz Luhrmann, but even more unintentionally funny. The bit where she gives the street performer a rose is particularly stupid. On the other hand, I suppose Tod’s gets the last laugh because I actually did watch the thing.
Couldn’t be bothered to watch it all (and by the lack of comments, nobody that interested). Poor Gwynneth, she is trying so hard to stay relevant. First some idiotic blog about her favorite haunts, and now this, yikes, her star has fallen.
First marrying the Coldplayer, then some traveling/cooking show with Batali, now this? She should’ve stayed retired. She was never much of an actress to begin with. If it wasn’t for her pedigree and her many boyfriends, whould anyone even care? I doubt it.
Wow, drugs do wreck your mind! Where to start? Wrong on so many levels. I agree–WTF! Makes me want to rent Juliet of the Spirits–to cleanse the palet. I especially liked the final shot of the bag. It summed up the entire “work” for me.
what’w wrong with it? I find it lovely. she looks like Grace Kelly, if there’s ever a movie about her life, noone can play it better than Gwyn.
enough with the backlash, it almost seems like the same people who hate her write these retarded comments on each blog.
like she says in her blog: invest on what’s real. don’t waste your time writing stupid comments about someone you don’t know about.
I’m too lazy to watch the clip and form an independent opinion, so I’ll withhold a critique.
But I did watch Spain…On the Road Again (i.e., some traveling/cooking show with Batali) and found Gwyneth to still be lovably snobby, in two languages, no less. Aside from the food porn, it’s worth a watch just for Claudia Barrols. She’s part of the road trip ensemble, and she is stunning. I’m a straight girl, but I totally want to make out with her.
Can you believe they actually shot this pile of garbage on film?
I would’ve rather watched THE BAG put on a pretty dress, dance with clowns and bask in its own radiance. Only after being down-to-earth-yet-angelic enough to bestow a rose on a lowly street performer. Lame ad. Great purse.
Besides, anyone who’s spent 5 minutes in Italy knows you don’t just set your bag on a chair at an outdoor cafe… without first erecting a neon saying flashing “I’m an ignorant tourist! Please steal this!” You hold it tightly after threading the straps through at least four bars of your chair, then you connect it to your belt and only eat with one hand.
Just wanted to respond to Iris and to Warda above -
I didn’t think giving a rose to a street performer was stupid, because… I am a street performer, and people actually do give me flowers from time to time, and it always makes my day.
All the best,
Saw Lady
http://www.SawLady.com/blog
“Confirmed MILF,” WHAT?! As a 22-year-old male, I can say, on behalf of all my brethren, that NONE OF US want to bag her!
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She looks really fab in those white, always a nice color…I’m also in love with her earrings…
Great bag too, makes the look a bit more fierce …
She looks really fab in those white, simple color…I’m also in love with her earrings…
Great bag too, makes the look a bit more fierce …
_____
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