'America's Got Talent': The season finale!

Nealboydgottalent_l"Tonight a superstar is born!" Piers said in the intro to last night’s America’s Got Talent finale. A superstar? C’mon, dude. Too far. How about just, "Tonight someone’s dreams will come true," or, "Tonight, someone’s 15 minutes of fame will peak." But a superstar? Okay, anyone know who Terry Fator is? He’s season 2’s winner, and a damn fine ventriloquist (probably), but a superstar? Hell to the no.

At any rate, the point Piers was trying to make was that this was the moment we’d all been waiting for: the final episode when a winner would be announced. Frankly, it seemed like a task that easily could’ve been accomplished in 30 minutes. But American’s Got Talent is a one-hour show, by golly, and there’s no way they’re gonna forgo whatever suspense they managed to muster lo these many weeks with anything less than a 60-minute party.

The festivities kicked off with the America’s Got Talent Top 10 singing a group number that ended with a shot of little four-year-old Kaitlyn Maher singing the final note (aww…). Next up, Springer announced, was "one of the biggest selling artists in America — no! Make that the world." One of the biggest "selling?" Hmm. Who could this McDonalds of the singing world be? Why, it was none other than…

More on AGT‘s season finale after the jump…

addCredit(“Chris Haston/NBC”)

Leona Lewis! She was pretty decent, actually, in a genericpop/R&B kinda way, but I was distracted by the giant pimple thepoor thing had on her chin — well-camouflaged, but there was just nogetting past the topographical challenge it posed.

The next few minutes were kind of a blur. I seem to remember a womanwith giant, swinging breasts, a drag queen doing a damn goodimpersonation of Dionne Warwick, a tiny old lady wearing a tiara, andan endorsement for violin guys from Wyclef Jean. Having now typed allthat, I have to wonder if I didn’t briefly doze off and slip into somekind of talent-competition-show-induced dream state. In any case, whenthe booting finally began, Queen Emily was the first to go and, as Isaid in my recap last week, she delivered the least impressive finalperformance. Goodbye, sweet Queen. Next to get the axe, notsurprisingly, was orange tan guy, Donald Braswell. Though he may not beheaded to Vegas, there’s a cruise ship gig out there with his name allover it.

Down to the Top 3. This is where it actually got interesting, as theremaining acts all had some discernible talent. I was actually kind ofshocked when Nuttin But Stringz went out in third place. Their finalperformance was more style than substance, sure, but they totallybrought the house down. I figured they were assured at least a spot inthe final 2. (Shows what I know.) Although their journey ended beforeVegas, hopefully they took some consolation from the fact that Springertold them "you guys are so cool." Big Jer didn’t hold up his fist for afarewell bump, but you know he wanted to.

And then there were two. Honestly, I thought opera guy Neal E. Boydwas gonna go before violin guys, so at this point, I was pretty surepiano man Eli Mattson had it in the bag. Plus my wife couldn’t stopgoing on about how "cute and good" piano man was — which, of course,made me want opera guy to win all the more. I almost changed my mind,though, as they recapped opera guy’s season and showed him weeping inthe interviews, weeping after every other performance, and weeping onstage as he watched himself weeping on tape. I guess he’s justsensitive, and real men cry and all that, but it still sort of annoyedme.

Apparently, America loves them some crying opera guy, though, cuzthe dude freakin’ won. I had to laugh by the face Sharon Osbourne madeafter the result was revealed. Is it me, or did she look flat-outdisappointed? Lord knows my wife was. "He’ll be fine, that EliMattson," she said as piano man congratulated opera guy, who thankedAmerica, gave a shout out to Missouri, and yes, wept. For what it’sworth, Mattson and Boyd did possess the most "talent" this season, andBoyd also seems like a really nice guy, so if someone had to win byhalf of one percent, I’m actually kind of glad it was him.

So there ya have it. Did America get it right by crowning Boyd? Wasa superstar born tonight? Were you shocked when Stringz got axed atthird place? Are you counting the days till Talent season 4? Why the hell wasn’t there more Hoff in this final episode?

More on America’s Got Talent:

Our full season of America’s Got Talent recaps

Our gallery of this season’s America’s Got Talent contestants

Comments (247 total) Add your comment
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  • CM

    OK EW..can you tell by the fact that I am the only one to comment on this that no one cares about this crappy so-called talent show?? Now gimme back my ANTM full recap! Now-dang-it!

  • Cindy

    Hooray for Neal. He was my favorite from the first time he sang. I voted for him and I’m ecstatic that he won. He has a wonderful voice and I know he’ll go far with his opera career. I really thought Nuttin’ But Strings had it in the bag and I think they thought so too because of the judges’ favoritism. How refreshing that someone with the real talent ended up in the winner’s box.

  • Mark

    THis show is still one? I kid, Eli should have won Neal was just kinda meh. Sucha disappointment. This season was actually really boring.

  • Anonymous

    bravo bravo bravo neil you stole my heart with your voice i wish you a lifetime of sucess…………..

  • Anonymous

    I tried watching this show when it first aired, watched about a couple weeks worth of eps to be exact. I was bored to tears. America does not have talent. All the losers from AI and SYTYCD come here. I am not going to drop money to watch some boring opera guy in Las Vegas.

  • JVC

    I was pretty shocked that Nuttin’ But Stringz didn’t win. They are amazing. But Neal and Eli were also great. Congrats to Neal for pulling this off. A little more opera on national tv is a very good thing.

  • DonnaP

    Nuttin but Strings got ripped off. They were by far the best act. I would pay to see them in Vegas…not Neal. I can handle maybe one opera song and then I’m done. The Strings guys put on the best performances. They deserved to win. The problem was the voting was only open for 2 hours after the show ended. So if you DVR the show, you can’t vote. I thought that maybe because the finale was a week later, they would have kept the voting open longer, but they didn’t. Our votes would have been for the violin playing boys, for sure.

  • Tubby O Lard

    The only reason I would go see that fat blubbering fool is to see how far into the show he has a heart attack.

  • DonnaP

    Oh, Eli was clearly my favorite of the final 2. I loved his voice and the way he made all the songs his own. He is so talented.

  • Teri

    Neil was my favorite from the beginning, I find it absolutely amazing how I am so touched by his performance when I can’t even understand what he’s singing about. I guess something’s gotta be said about this opera as an artform!

  • Billy Bobbie Joe

    Lit me tell y’all sumpin boya. Why you got a pikcure of a monster truck on youalls site.

  • CeeGEE

    Stopped watchin weeks ago. What a joke. Well at least cut golden vocal cords didn’t win. Mammy lets get our ticket to vegas so i can see this here fat boy at the buffet!

  • RerunOfBritainsGotTalent

    Apparently I’m the only one who realizes that we just saw a complete rerun (over many weeks) of Britain’s Got Talent. If you look it up, there was a guy named Paul Potts who showed up to Britain’s Got Talent as a nobody who taught himself to sing opera. He cried, a lot. He started in a ho-hum job. He even sang Nessun Dorma as his final performance. Neal may as well have just been Paul Potts!
    I’m not saying Neal isn’t talented, just that we got a complete re-run show.
    Eli (who I feel should have won) and NBS (who I strongly disliked) at least were new acts who weren’t a re-hash of someone who had already won.
    I know you will say that Neal won by popular vote – but it’s far too much of a coincidence how similar his story (and even song choice) is to a previous winner.
    Something fishy was going on behind the scenes at AGT.

  • Jesse

    Neal stole your heart? He stole my double bacon cheeseburger!

  • Tam

    Finally! After American Idol, DWTS, presidental elections, etc, my favorite wins!! Go Neal. I loved him from the start and nobody ever topped him. Please replace the Hoff next year. I DVR the show so I can fast forward through his bits.

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