Seeing this photo of Matt Damon, from the set of his movie The Informant in Hawaii, I couldn’t help wondering whether People might pull a Milli Vanilli and revoke the Sexiest Man Alive citation they gave him a few months ago. I also couldn’t help coming up with my own captions based on lame puns of other Damon movies — The Bourne Obesity, Good Will Eating, The Legend of Baggy Pants, Rounder — but I finally decided to go with this one:
The Good Shepherd’s Pie
Your turn.
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I really, really hope he had to gain weight for this role.
Oceans Ate
Stuck on Yoo-Hoo (based on that what-were-they-thinking? movie Stuck on You with Greg Kinnear!)
or
The Bloated Mr Ripley
I have eaten Ben Affleck
“All the Delicious Horses”
“Force-feeding Private Ryan”
I had to gain weight for the role.
The Muffinmaker.
The Bourne Expansion
How about “Shallow EW”?
“Titan I.F.O.C.E.”
This one would be funnier if the International Federation of Competitive Eating was more well known and if people actually remembered “Titan A.E.” The fact that I’m preemptively explaining the joke is a bad sign in itself, but I thought it was at least a little clever and warranted clarification.
Food Will Hunting
Food Will Hunting
“I’m feeding Matt Damon”
“The Talented Mr.Ripples”
All the Pretty Pastries
Hogma
(In the spirit of good-natured ribbing, of course – given his history of gaining/losing weight for film roles, I’m sure he’ll get back to fighting form when he can and meanwhile be able to laugh at himself too…)
Next time, I’ll opt for a fat suit and CGI.
(I want to cry now having seen that picture.)
I guess Matt does like them apples!
Portions? Eleven!
Good God….Eating!
“All the Pretty Horses I Just Ate”
no one is f***ing Matt Damon
how about fatt damon? simple and to the point.
FAT MATT
Ocean’s Size 13
Rounders part 2
I don’t think it’s possible to top Arden’s “Portions? Eleven!” or filmboymichael’s “The Talented Mr.Ripples”, so I’ll just sit at my desk sniggering. (And for the record, a few pounds could never douse my lust for Matt Damon.)
I guess he ate *all* the chocolate Oscars.
BBQ’d The Pretty Horses
STUCK ON YOU!
The Brothers Not-So-Slim