I’ve got to hand it to the publicity team behind Scott Gertner (pictured), a Grammy-nominated R&B singer I had never heard of until his rep sent me a large white envelope boasting "Sexy Music Inside." That got me, a connoisseur of the craptacular, to open the package immediately. After skimming the letter accompanying the sampler of this forthcoming album, Only Human — first line, "When was the last time music truly made you feel sexy inside?"; last line, "I will be calling soon to get your input and see if you’re feeling sexy." — I did what anyone would do: Yell across the hall to the nearest colleague (lucky, Jennifer Armstrong!) and kindly demand that she please report to me. After Jennifer retraced my steps, she agreed that we had to put in the CD stat. While I’m strongly anti-passion talking, which is how Gertner opens the title track ("As a man, sometimes I feel very vulnerable, by showing my emotions. Why? When you do it, you’re not vulnerable…"), I’ll admit that there was some evidence of grooving when the beat kicked in. (See: Jennifer swaying with her arms above her head, only 70 percent ironically.)
Sadly, Armstrong wasn’t around later when I visited Gertner’s MySpace page and discovered his song, "TKO," which could, quite possibly, feature the worst passion talking ever: "Come here. Ah. Come on. Ah. Damn. Come here. Sit right next to me. Just look at you. But before you do, could you put on those baby blue panties? The ones with the lace down the side. Make you feel like pure silk." Am I right? Or can you think of a song that tops it?
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I…I mean, I just…WOW. No, I cannot think of a song that tops that last one for ridiculous passion talking. Mr. Gertner takes the cake! Well played, sir!
Ne-Yo’s “Say It” would make Gertner blush.
Is it lace? Or is it silk? Or are you using silk as a metaphor?? Now I can’t concentrate on whatever other words of passion you want to stage whisper in my ear, nice job.
Is he joking???!??!!!
i like how he hits a lot of pitch problems. it’s lovely. also….
when he talks “sexy” to me, it sounds like a baldwin brother is quickly trying to get somebody in the sack.
how can you be sexxy if your last name is Gertner??
Scott Gertner is well-known in Houston as a lounge lizard and club owner. He mainly sings at his own clubs, and (no lie) I think I saw him play at a hotel lounge once many years ago. His shows are good for a laugh. He is the very definition of “Craptastic!”
I definitely feel dirty now, and not in a good way. I’ll give his songs a listen at home, where I can hoot and holler in private… and the fact that he looks a little like Will Ferrell had me hoping that this was another of Ferrell’s over-the-top characters.
The only “passion talking” I can think of that is worse is Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords on “Business Time.” And I know he’s joking…
The only “passion talking” I can think of that is worse is Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords on “Business Time.” And I know he’s joking…
I’m sure the worst sexy speakover has to be something from Color Me Bad in the ’80s or ’90s.
Steve Rhodes from Married With Children made an R&B album? Christ on a cracker!
This is a Will Ferrell skit for Funny or Die, right? Has to be.
What’s the next line – “the panties your mother laid out for you”?
i don’t remember any of the lyrics, but Fabio put out an album in 1994-5. THAT was truly the worst “sexy talking” ever to have existed. Find it and check it out–you will see!!!
“Sesame Street” once had Cookie Monster doing a Barry White parody called “Me Want to Munch You”, and the passion talk to a cookie (“Me love hot chocolate chips, melt sweetly on me lips…”) I think Cookie Monster did much better hot love talkin’ than this doofus!
I LOVE THE SOUND OF MR. GERTNER’S SMOKEY BARRITONE VOICE. I WENT TO THE WEBSITE AND ENJOYED THE TRACKS. KEEP THE BLOG GOING, THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS BAD PUBLICITY
Have you Google’d Gertner’s name? 165,000 articles. Sounds like he’s quite a success, cheese and all. Must be money making cheese.
that boy is jammin! i heard nothing but old school classics done in a fresh new way> this is what music should sound like> classics with a new twist> and for your information “baby blue panties” line is from a barry white song. mandi go back and research> and you do this for a living?
Cheesy? Where did that come from? I think Mandi misinterpreted the meaning of Sexy. She must have felt something ‘cause she wrote it down…that took a lot of her time. Scott sounds very sexy to me. And Will Ferrell never looked this good. As for the publicist… it got us talking about it and going to Scotts myspace…now that I heard his music, I know that Sexy is not Cheesy.
Okay, that may be the single unsexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Apparently his publicist was on the look-out for this post, since the first three or four comments scream “shill”. As for the Will Ferrell comparison, I find that to be entirely unkind to Ferrell. And I don’t like Will Ferrell, either.
susie, go back to your desk at the magazine and get back to work. speaking of “shill”! mandi must be your friend. i’ve read her reviews and they are on a very elementary level. that’s why she only writes online.
Personally from the entertainment industry and a frequent visitor to Houston, my first night out is ALWAYS to visit Scott Gertner’s Skybar. Scott’s performance is superb, VERY entertaining, a crowd pleaser and if you’re with the right company; “Yes, it will set the mood to ‘feel sexy’.” I mean honestly, on a summer night out on the patio, overlooking the city and the city lights of downtown, how can you not ‘feel sexy’??!! Also, my observation of Scott Gertner’s club is for the “grown & sexy”. I myself, his fans and his party goers truly appreciate his performance.
So to Mandi, I think I understand why YOU don’t “feel sexy” and made me wish I “skimmed” through your review.
Scott, I truly enjoy your music, wish you much success and I will be visiting soon (thanks to Mandi).
My best to you,
Un Abrazo & Besitos
(trans: Hugs & Kisses)
I’ve only seen him once at the Skybar and I have to give him props! His show was one of the best I’ve seen. He had the crowd going and even the people sitting down where jamming in their seats! Best of luck for the future!
This guy is amazing!!!! Cant wait to go to another one of his performances!
Scott Gertner is HOTT
This guy has got such a powerful voice. What a great artist!!!
I heard the TKO song again and again… The passion talking doesn’t bother me… Its just his style. If it was a rapper dong the tune….would it be such a big deal?
How about the other tunes…has anybody heard them? I like ONLY HUMAN and Could it be Magic is great. GOING in Circles is cool too.
Love Scott and his music. This attention and exposure is way overdue. Scott has entertained thousands throughout his career and i know we all look forward to his upcoming CD. Much Love to Scott and continued success.
I hear passion talking all the time on rap music, what makes this different I liked “Could it be Magic” and Only Human was good too. This guy is hapening.