CMT Awards: Did Paula Abdul write her own patter?

Abdulcmt_lWell, CMT has managed to turn its video music awards into the VMAs, meaning last night’s CMT Awards telecast was a glitzy, fast-forwardable letdown. If you missed it (check out the winners), here are just a few highlights:

• The show opened with a taped skit of Trace Adkins (hair not in a ponytail) trying to get tickets for his two daughters — both big fans of Miley Cyrus, who hosted with her dad, Billy Ray. Trace wasn’t the only celeb shut out: John McCain, Barack Obama, and Hilary Clinton also worked the phone for tix. Watch the skit, and the entire show, online.

• LeAnn Rimes recreated the video to her hit "Nothin’ Better to Do." While it’s refreshing to see a singer, you know, sing live during a production number, something about the dance break just felt off. Are we ready for a dancing country star?

• Speaking of off, Paula Abdul (pictured) was on hand to deliver THE most awkward introduction ever. She looked fabulous, in a Spider-Man inspired gown, and she clearly felt great as she danced her way to her mark. But then she spoke: "My life has always been surrounded by dance, cheerleading, tons of inspiration, and, of course, music. That’s why I’m so happy to be here in Music City!" Cut to Keith Urban, looking bored. But continue. "Now, I’m just so blown away. There’s so many American Idol alumni here, I feel like this is a reunion, and I’m a proud mom. You know, some of those kids we literally found underneath a rock, and saw that they could actually be our bright and shining diamonds in the rough." Dramatic pause as she puts her outstretched arms down. "When they were vulnerable on that stage about ready [glares over her right shoulder at some screaming fan] to get kicked off, they held their own with total grace and dignity. [Looks over her shoulder again and says, "Alright. I get it." Shakes her head. Continues, unconvincingly.] "It’s just that I’m really proud of my little angels. Now what I’m trying to say is: In music, there’s so, so much that you have to take into consideration. But most of all, you’ve gotta have faith. But in this room, it’s all about spirit and faith. There’s only one person in this room who has faith. And it’s Tim. Ladies and gentleman, performing their hit song "I Need You" Tim McGraw and Faith Hill." [Tim and Faith then perform their ballad, which loses some of its intimacy thanks to fans who scream after every line. Also, because after you see them sit facing each other, knee to knee, on three different award shows, the magic is gone.]

addCredit(“Paula Abdul: Kevin Mazur/”)

• Snoop Dogg, who helped Jason Aldean introduce Alan Jackson, said he’s coming out with a country song, "My Medicine." Really?

• I couldn’t bear to watch Miley and Billy Ray sing. Sorry. But if you must, it’s here.

• Watching Taylor Swift perform "Picture to Burn" made me want to see Miranda Lambert.

The woman who "happened" to jump up on stage during Toby Keith’s performance of "She’s a Hottie," right as the song hit its musical interlude, made me feel more uncomfortable than LeAnn.

Comments (53 total) Add your comment
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  • Anonymous

    i loved paulas speech. it was typical her. i think maybe all the screaming fans made her mess up a little bit though.

  • hmm

    paula’s intro was the only interesting thing that happened at that boring show

  • Chris

    They “literally” find Idol contestants under a rock? Literally? That’s like saying that Paula Abdul does something literately.

  • aymzer

    I have recently been a Miley apologist, but last night she sounded terrible, as did Taylor Swift. Both of them are coasting on looks and personality right now. I love some of Taylor’s songs, but I too would have rather heard “Gunpowder and Lead” by Ms. Lambert.
    Did Billy Ray almost forget to introduce Carrie?

  • Sara

    I agree. A performance by Miranda Lambert was really really needed. I recorded it on my dvr, THANK GOD I was able to fast forward Miley’s and Billy Ray’s awful duet. By the way could Miley act a little less bored next time?

  • lisa

    sara: could Miley act a little less bored next time?
    um, you really want a next time?

  • april

    Miley has strep throat and was battling a 103 degree temperature during the award show. As you could tell she was practically nonexistent after the song she sang. So before you start hounding on a 15 year old you should learn the facts.

  • Stacey

    Taylor Swift was TERRIBLE, everytime I hear her live, she’s terrible. I know she’s still a teenager. But she’s the classic example of how the studio can make ANYONE sound okay. And to think she was one of the big winners last night. Damn. Wonder if in a few people people will care about her or will they be on to the next big thing.

  • Robb

    I disagree, Mandi… I thought LeAnn’s performance was great. She sounded amazing, probably the best of the night. The dance break was fun. And who cares that “country” might not be ready for that. It’s also not ready for solo singers with credibility who write their own songs (a la LeAnn for the past few albums) and rely on the same old hacks to write for them. Maybe Faith Hill should write a song or two in her career.
    And what does it say that country embraces a tarted up, dreadful actress/singer like Miley Cyrus? Seriously, she looks 40.

  • MsDaisy

    Paula’s commentary was not nearly as lame as some of Billy Ray’s schtick. How did THAT one-hit wonder ever get to be a big star? Oh yeah, he reproduced.

  • to april

    she’s a 15 year old who wants to be in the spotlight. Mandi is a critic…sheesh…
    And, frankly, Miley sounds like crap on the studio version of the song.

  • cimagato

    Insert seal clapping, here.

  • Snarf

    You think you have it bad? In Canada, the Juno’s are owned by CTV. CTV owns the rights to Canadian Idol. Needless to say previous Canadian Idol winners/hopefuls ALWAYS end up being nominated with CTV scoring “exclusive” interviews with them on E-Talk. What I find shocking is that no one calls them on it for what it is, advertising their own lame product on or in various outlits.

  • Ceballos

    Mandi, I love that part of your job is to transcribe anything that Paula Abdul says…ok, well maybe it’s not part of your job, but I dig that you did it anyway.

  • Jim

    Okie doke, well I’m glad that you transcribed Paula’s speech…Now, could someone please transalate it into English for us? Umm, just kidding. Well, don’t think they don’t know what they’re doing…by injecting American Idol and Miley Cyrus strongly into the show they are wedding together 2 of the hottest commodities out there together (just as the American Idol producers had the smarts to don on Idol gives back night, here is a good article on that here )

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