I’m loving this bit from the wags at McSweeney’s (hat tip to Movie City News), which reduces classic movies to their essences in just three lines of dialogue or less. It looked like fun to me, and I thought we should try it here, PopWatchers. Here, for instance, is The Sixth Sense:
HALEY JOEL OSMENT: I see dead people.
BRUCE WILLIS: Don’t worry, you’ll be all right…
BRUCE WILLIS: … Oh.
After the jump, the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy in just three lines…
GANDALF: You must destroy the ring, Frodo.
GOLLUM (pictured): My preciousssss! [Chomp!]
FRODO: Ouch.
Your turn.
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X-Men
Professor X – “We’re not what you think.”
Magneto – “You should have killed me when you had the chance!”
Wolverine – “Gotcha.”
Wizard of Oz
Dorothy: “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”
All: “We’re off to see the Wizard”
Dorthy: “There’s no place like home”
Se7en
Spacey: I’m awesome
Pitt: #*&@ you
Paltrow: …
The Matrix:
Morpheus: Take the Red Pill…
Neo: There is no spoon.
Neo: Woah
When Harry Met Sally:
Harry: Men and women can never really be friends.
Sally: Yes they can.
Marie: How was it?
Harry Potter
Trelawney: Neither can live while the other survives.
Harry Potter: I can do magic!
Voldermort: Avada Kedavra
Gone With the Wind
Aunt Pittypat: “Yankee in Atlanta!”
Scarlet: “As God is my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
Rhett: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
The Departed:
Costello: “I get a feeling we have a rat on our crew.”
Dignam: “Whoop-de-f***ing-do”
Various: *gunshots to the face*
The Lion King:
Scar: “Long live the King!”
Timon & Pumba: “Hakuna Matata”
Mufasa: “You must take your place in the circle of life.”
“The Usual Suspects”
Chazz Palmintieri: Who is Keyser Soze?
Kevin Spacey: Is there a Keyser Soze?
Chazz Palmintieri: HE’S Keyser Soze?
Ferris Buehler’s Day Off
Ferris: They bought it.
Cameron: We’re pinched for sure.
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
Jerry Maguire:
Jerry: “Who’s coming with me?”
Rod Tidwell: “Show me the money!”
Dorothy: “You had me at hello.”
Back to the Future:
Marty: “Are you telling me you build a time machine out of a DeLorean?
Biff: “He-lloooo”
Dr. Brown: “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
(can you tell I’m really enjoying this?)
Psycho:
Norman Bates: “We all go a little mad sometimes.”
Marion Crane: “I’m going to take a shower…”
Norman Bates: “Mother! Oh God! Blood!”
Titanic:
Rose: Outwardly, I was everything a well brought up girl should be. Inside, I was screaming
Rose: I’m flying Jack!
Rose: I’ll never let go…
Bridget Jones’s Diary:
Hugh Grant: I know before I was just sleeping with you, but now I love you Bridget!
Colin Firth: No, you don’t. Besides, I love Bridget just as she is.
Renee Zellweger: Well, since I gained a ton of weight for this part, I’ll go with the guy who loves me as I am. For now.
Pretty Woman:
Julia Roberts: I don’t kiss on the mouth.
Richard Gere: I’ll pay you three thousand dollars.
Julia Roberts: My knight in shining armor! (kisses him on the mouth)
Speed
Howard Payne: Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus
Annie: I can drive it!
Jack: Relationships based on extreme circumstances never, oh what the heck… (sloppy kissing noises)
Leaving Las Vegas:
Ben: I love booze.
Sera: My rectum is bleeding.
Ben: One more for the road!
Pretty Woman
Edward:You make $100 an hour and you have a safety pin holding your boot up?
Vivian:All right, let’s get one of these on ya.
Vivian:She rescues him right back.
300
King Leonidas “This is Sparta!”
Queen Gorga “This will not be over quickly.”
King Leonidas “I have a small cramp in my leg, so you’ll pardon me if I don’t kneel.”
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called “Lick My Love Pump”.
David St. Hubbins: It’s such a fine line between stupid, and clever.
Marty DiBergi: This album begs the question “What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn’t head have rested on that day too?”
Since I just watched it this weekend, “Knocked Up”:
Allison: “I’m pregnant.”
Ben: “F@$# off!”
Allison & Ben: “I love you!”
Wedding Crashers
Jeremy: That was my first Aisan!
Kathleen Cleary: Call me Kitty Cat
John: I crashed a funeral today.
The Spider-man Trilogy:
1) Uncle Ben: With great power comes great responsibility.
2) Man on Subway: He’s just a kid!
3) All: boo-hoo, wah, wah wah
Star Wars
1. Obi Wan to Luke: “the Force is what gives a Jedi his power”
2. Vader: “you should not have come back”
3. Han: “you’re all clear kid now let’s blow this thing and go home!”
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The Big Lebowski
The Dude-The rug really tied the room together
Walter-Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon… with nail polish.
The Stranger-Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Khan: “but YOU… I never for-get-a-face….”
Kirk: “KHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!”
Spock: “ship, out of danger?”
beforethedarktimesdotcom
No Country for Old Men:
1. Moss: I am about to make the biggest mistake ever…
2. Chigurh: Call it
3. Bell: Time to retire
Terminator 2:
John Connor: “Jesus! You were going to kill that guy!”
Terminator: “Of course, I’m a terminator.”
Terminator: “Hasta la vista, baby!”
Citizan Kane
Kane: Rosebud
Reporter: We have to find Rosebud
Furnace: “Crackle”