With less than a week to go before the Academy Awards ceremony, returning host Jon Stewart talks to the New York Times this morning about how he’s feeling invigorated by the challenge of putting together an Oscar show in the very brief window made available to him by the strike. He also seems to relish the tricky dilemma facing every Oscar host: how to strike a balance between paying homage to the bigwigs sitting in the front rows of the Kodak Theater and deflating their pompous egos for viewers at home. (Ah, so that’s why Chris Rock hasn’t been invited back.)
Sure, Stewart sounds sanguine, but he’s gotta be panicking inside — who wouldn’t be? Even though he won’t admit it, PopWatchers, he needs our help. Offer him some suggestions in the comment section below. I’ll start you off:
• Don’t make too many Clinton/Obama/McCain jokes. This is Hollywood, not The Daily Show.
• Don’t joke too much about Lindsay, Britney, Paris, et al. This isn’t their night either.
• Do feel free to joke about Jack Nicholson; he’ll probably guffaw the loudest, and everyone loves those Jack reaction shots.
• Do think up some way to link There Will Be Blood and Juno — maybe an order of burger (phone) and milkshake combo?
• Don’t sing.
• Do find a way to work Stephen Colbert into the proceedings.
• Wanna borrow Javier Bardem’s cattle gun and Peter Tork wig as sight-gag props? Go right ahead.
What else?
addCredit(“Jon Stewart: Bob D’Amico”)
Don’t make cracks at Scientologists those jokes will bomb more than “Lions for Lambs” did at the box office. BAM! You can use it John but I want credit.
Seriously, leave the politics and celebrity trash out of it
I don’t know if it’s been around long enough to be stale, but there definitely needs to be a milkshake comment.
Stewart never talks about Britney Spears or Paris Hilton anyway.
Amy winehouse jokes. Lots of them. Like the way Sarah Silverman destroyed Paris Hilton at the MTV movie awards. Not sure what Amy Winehouse has to do with Oscars, but I didn’t know what Paris had to do with MTV and movie awards either.
Do gush over the little-song-that-could – “Falling Slowly” from the movie Once that’s nominated for best song.
How about tying together Sweeney Todd’s barber skills and Javier Bardem’s hairstyle?
Make fun of everybody in the first few rows. Especially Tom Cruise. Boy, that’s a payload right there.
He needs to have Stephen Colbert narrate more of those attack ads between nominees again.
I am one hundred percent behind the idea of Stephen Colbert making an appearance at some point. I love John and Stephen separately but I love them even more when they work together. (“Our powers combined…”)
Def need Colbert- him coming out and saying “Good evening, godless sodomites.” still makes me laugh when I think about it.
Comparisons to Daniel Plainview and Bush or Cheney may be a way to mix the movies with politics (“I am an oilman!”). And if Stewart would wear a Daniel Plainview mustache that would be great.
Hey Ames, to go with Jon wearing the Daniel Plainview mustache, maybe Stephen could wear the Javier Bardem/Dorothy Hamill hair?
DON’T SHOW UP!!!
Maybe they’ll cancel the stupid show!
Whatever you do, don’t make fun of Jude Law, or Sean Penn will come after you. Tim Robbins, however, is fair game.