Things that make me die inside: CBS' low-brow reality slate

Ashton_lFrom a CBS press release issued Monday: "CBS has ordered three new alternative/reality series for broadcast later this year — the biweekly celebrity talent contest SECRET TALENTS OF THE STARS, the hidden camera game show GAME SHOW IN MY HEAD and the search for AMERICA’S TOP DOG."

Let’s break this down: Secret Talents of the Stars will allegedly feature some of our "favorite film and television stars" competing in a tournament to find out who has the best hidden talent. Now I’m willing to guess that some of my favorite stars will be on this show, because the D-list are my people. But will anyone else want to see celebs who weren’t big enough to get on Dancing With the Stars do magic?

Game Show in My Head
is the latest offering from Ashton Kutcher (pictured) and Jason Goldberg, his partner on Punk’d and Beauty and the Geek. I hate the title, but do appreciate the concept because it reminds me of something Graham Norton does would do. Basically, contestants will wear earpierces and earn money for following through on whatever inane things the TBD host of the show instructs him or her to do in public. If the contestant wimps out, the winnings are erased.

America’s Top Dog is only a working title, thank God. The pitch here: A group of owners and their pups will live together and "battle it out in a dog competition that puts the dog’s relationship with the person who has raised and trained it to the test. In the end, only one team of loving owner and faithful dog will emerge the winner in this dog-eat-dog competition!" Is this the price we pay for expensive reality fare like The Amazing Race and Survivor? I like dogs — and will admit to watching those agility competitions on ESPN — but seriously?*

Will you tune into any of these?

*I’m totally gonna watch that, aren’t I?

Comments (13 total) Add your comment
  • Scott

    No, I wouldn’t watch any of that junk. Nor should anyone else.

  • Brian

    More and more, so-called “reality” TV is convincing me that Western Civilization is on the brink. Turn off the television and read a book or go outside. Anything to avoid this kinf of brain-rotting junk.

  • Brian

    More and more, so-called “reality” TV is convincing me that Western Civilization is on the brink. Turn off the television and read a book or go outside. Anything to avoid this kind of brain-rotting junk.

  • Sally in Chicago

    Count me out. Cable is looking better and better every day.

  • Nose

    Mandi, I totally thought you were kidding when I read the first paragraph. Sadly, you weren’t. End the darn strike already!

  • Martha

    No, no and no. Thank goodness for Netflix.

  • Mark

    Broadcast television is getting less attractive all the time. They obviously think the viewing public is composed of idiots, but even people who swallow crap like “American Idol” and “Survivor” will draw the line somewhere.

  • Snsetblaze

    No, while I do like Survivor and have watched American Idol and the Amazing Race, the rest of this stuff sounds like garbage. Even the cheesy movies on Sci Fi sound better. I guess I will be catching up on things that I haven’t watched in my dvd collection and usuing my library card a bit more.

  • Mi_ca

    This reminds me of when I was a kid and the Beverly Hillbillies and Gilligan’s Island were popular network fare in the sixties. I’ve always wondered what the heck were grown people thinking watching that kind of tripe? I mean I loved the shows when I was younger than 10, but adults? Now I’m beginning to see that lack of creativity, coupled with network greed, creates this kind of programming vacuum. And human beings just love TV, and we’ll watch anything that moves.

  • Mike

    Unfortunately, there are millions of Americans who will watch whatever is on. American Gladiators has already been picked up for a second season. I’m using my TV as a doorstop.

  • LT

    that “game show in my head” concept sounds exactly like this show that airs in canada (and perhaps in the states) called “oblivious”. at the end of the show, the host makes the contestant do certain embarassing things while getting the “victim” to answer questions…

  • mikey

    How about this for new reality show idea: “What I did during the writers’ strike”
    For me it would be picking up guitars and opening books, not watching all the low-brow reality filler being put forth (with the notable exception of “Rock of Love 2: Return of the Drunken Strippers”).
    It could be like the episode of “The Simpsons” when Marge crusaded to have “Itchy and Scratchy” cancelled. Everyone went outside, took up new activities, and a temporary cultural bliss ensued.

  • DanOregon

    Every day the producers are making the writers look more and more valuable and woefully underpaid. Writers are the only thing standing in the way of our airwaves being filled with the dreckiest of dreck. If I’m the guild I increase their demands.

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