Mr. Monopoly has fallen on hard times

Monopolyman_lWhen Forbes released its ranking of the Fictional 15 last week, I experienced a sudden and conflicting rush of emotions. I mourned the death of Oliver "Daddy" Warbucks (No. 1 back in ’06), felt ecstatic over the addition of Princess Peach — who was always my choice in Super Mario Bros. 2 because, duh, she hover-flies and wears a pretty pink dress — but was utterly outraged by the drop-off of Mr. Monopoly. Um, what the hell? According to Forbes, the mustachioed moneyman "lost everything in subprime mortgage crash…attempted to rob Atlantic City gentleman’s club; was sent directly to jail, did not pass Go, did not collect $200." Who knew Mr. Monopoly (a.k.a. Rich Uncle Pennybags) was in such a wretched state?

Come on now, people, it’s time to purchase some hotels on Boardwalk; the dapper old dude needs you. And if you can’t feel sympathy for a man who’s repeatedly sprung you from the pen while donning a tux and top-hat, then shame on you.

addCredit(“Mr. Monopoly: Courtesy of Hasbro, Inc”)

Comments (10 total) Add your comment
  • Anonymous

    mr. monopoly is awesome. i love that game

  • RP

    Frankly, I’m surprised Mr. Malfoy didn’t fall off but I am GLAD Prince Abakaliki Of Nigeria has.
    I would have thought Mr. Monopoly would have known better than to get into that sub-prime mess but I guess not.

  • Eric J

    Biggest omission from the list: Trip Darling, CEO and primary shareholder of Darling Enteprises, valued at $35 Billion.

  • jcarla

    I’m glad they used info from the comic books instead from the movies for Bruce Wayne (Brother Eye) and Tony Stark (Shield and Captain America). The researchers were throughough. Though I’m not sure about OsCorp. Norman Osbourne is busy running the Thunderbolts.

  • Meghan

    I still think, as I did last year, that David Xanatos from the animated series Gargoyles deserves to be on this list. I mean, man starts his fortune by going back in time and mailing himself coins from the 10th century, and later has the money to airlift a whole Scottish castle to sit on top of his NYC skyrise. Not even Trump has one of those on his buildings.
    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Xanatos)

  • Meghan

    I still think, as I did last year, that David Xanatos from the animated series Gargoyles deserves to be on this list. I mean, man starts his fortune by going back in time and mailing himself coins from the 10th century, and later has the money to airlift a whole Scottish castle to sit on top of his NYC skyrise. Not even Trump has one of those on his buildings.
    (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Xanatos)

  • arryana

    before i donate to (formerly) rich uncle pennybags, i’m going to need to see an amusing mugshot of him.

  • Ryan

    I love that they put Mom on the list.

  • mikey

    Wait, there are subprime mortgages in Monopoly? That’s about the only type of transaction I haven’t been involved iwth in that game. Guess I’ll have to see if I can get a game up over Christmas and figure a way to work one in.

  • RP

    I still agree with you about David Xanatos but I don’t understand at all how they left out Lex Luthor and LutherCorp. How did they place Bruce Wayne and forget about Luthor? Gargoyles has been off the air for awhile but that?

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