From the desk of Alynda Wheat:
Lazy? You bet. Easy? Like Sunday morning. Pageant Princess Taylor (pictured) makes it so simple for the Nation’s producers and editors, that all they have to do is prop a camera in front of her and she’s Old Faithful, Halley’s Comet, and the flooding of the Nile Delta*—reliably good for an episode.
But they’ve stumbled onto something here: This child has issues. Not just the bossy, stubborn, sit-on-her-pampered-butt dramas we’ve come to know so intimately. Noooo, this is a little girl who justifies murder of the ugly. “Ugly chickens deserve to die!” says, PPT arguing that attractiveness should be a precondition for life. And how, pray tell, do “ugly” humans escape the ax in the Taylor Solution? Mascara. Bottom line, pageants have warped this child’s brain. Go ahead, do your defense of kiddie pimping—how it teaches them self-esteem, how they wouldn’t do it if they didn’t love it, blah, blah, blah. I don’t buy it. Your kid may be fine, but this kid is not. To argue otherwise is just putting lipstick on a pig (and don’t you know she’s tried that already?).
All right, enough of me and my soapbox, because the rest of theepisode was funny as hell. It started with the Nerd Convocation (Tooth,Jared, and Anjay) talkin’ mad smack about bacteria on Mars, andthrowing down Pi digits on each other like so many decimal disses. Mockthem if you must, but one of them is going to invent some sort ofInternet thingie that will make them Google rich, so I’m staying ontheir good side. Like Jared says, “If a person’s not educated they’llbe flipping burgers at the supermarket.” (Hush up with that gigglin’!You know what he meant.)
Then it was onto the reward challenge, where all of you GreenMeanies got schooled. Just accept it: Green is the best district, byfar. They’ve had the most gold-star winners (including this week’sHunter), they’ve got Sophia and Laurel, and they’re the only districtjust-gay-enough to know that learning is funner when you turn it into athree-act play. And oh, for the love of Sondheim, what joy they’d havehad if only they’d had time to make it a musical! (“Bonanza City, it’sa hell of a town, the water tower’s up and the Comanches are down. Thekids are alone, no adults to be found. BC, BC!…”) Green rules.
Unfortunately, so does anarchy. Yes, they’ve picked way too many ofthe responsible rewards over the fun ones, and they were due. But wasthere ever any doubt that once the doors of the arcade were thrownopen, the entire town would lose their minds? I’ll bet that’s whathappened to the original Bonanza City. They got themselves awhorehou—er, “Old West Arcade”—and went completely to seed, just likeCouncilman “I got money on this game!” Blaine. In the end, only theforce of will that is 14-going-on-30 Sophia got him and his surfer hairback on the job. So they made her sheriff.
Let’s pause and give thanks for the look of sheer ecstasy, thetranscendent heavenly glory that lit Sophia from within when she wasappointed the Town Heavy, reminding us of the Beatitudes (Blessed arethe nags, for they shall inherit the big stick.) It was the momentshe’d been waiting for her whole life—to be validated. That kinda joyusually takes a Superbowl win or a very expensive purse (you find yourbliss, I’ll find mine), and it warmed the cockles of my shrinking,grinchy heart.
It was almost as sweet, in fact, as Jared’s desperate, crazy sneakback into the arcade for one last round of Dance Dance Revolution, tolive out his Billy Elliot dreams. It’s cute how he’s so clearly in thewrong district.
*To all you Tooths, Anjays, and Jareds out there: Yes, I’m awarethat since the damming of the Nile, it no longer floods, thus ceasingthe annual torrent of fertile silt so excellent for crops and bad forparquet floors. It’s an expression.
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Oh Alynda, thanks for my howl of the day: murder of the ugly? Throwing down Pi digits? Awesome, thank you. Oh, and I love/hate PPT.
I just like the set up between, Taylor Vs. The Dishes…for the record, I too hate doing the dishes. It did shock me that the town, in itself became a ghost town due to the arcade and just watching clips and scene of what funny as heck….Also did love the newly bulided libaray and the scene around it
Can’t wait for next week, Sophia dress as Sheriff Van Helsing
Taylor: “Ugly chickens must die!”
Sophia, in a bemused way, to herself: “What a stupid thing to say..”
Hilarious.
Taylor’s parents obviously forgot to pack her Ritalin and Lithium. That girl has some serious issues which will undoubtedly lead her to become the next Britney Spears. Not to mention some of the biggest chompers I’ve ever seen in my life. I wonder what titles she’s actually won…Miss Congeniality perhaps?
but always read the Mini-TV Watch. Blessed are the nags?!? Girl, you rock!
I’m sorry, I don’t usually do this kind of thing, but, FUNNER, seriously, FUNNER????? Come on, you’re a professional.
Does anyone else believe that Taylor’s parents, who’ve obviously been in denial about their little princess, have had their eyes opened by this whole thing? And how will any boy or man ever decide to date her, if he knows she was on this show? She is proof that the Dr. Spock-time out form of child rearing is wrong. Taylor is in need of a spanking, followed by about a year of grounding. Maybe she should spend her Christmas serving food to the homeless. But maybe they deserve to die, too, since they don’t have mascara and might be considered ugly.
I’m really starting to believe that Taylor is just hamming it up for the sake of camera time. She got lots of attention for her “deal with it” catch phrase, so she one-upped herself by proclaiming that the ugly should be the first to die. She’s all about getting on camera, whatever the price. As far as the green team goes – can I join??? They would be the people that I’d want to hang with. As far as the current council goes – yikes – what a mess! Bring back Anjay!
Oh, Aaron, lighten up. Honestly!
Taylor’s parents might have had their eyes opened on a few points .. but overall, I bet they just probably think that everyone is picking on their poor little daughter and ganging up on her.
I think Sophia will grow to be a very unpleasant (smug) person. And if this were truly a “Kid Nation” with zero adult presence, no camera crew or anything, Greg and his crew would have raped half the girls in town by now.
Aaron, don’t pick on Alynda too much or she may abandon the Kid Nation ship.
This was one the best episodes ever. I loved the fight over chickens. The ugly chickens should die debate was hilarious. I loved Jared sneaking into the arcade at the end. and let’s not forget Taylor’s friend’s (the blonde one, i forget her name) commenting during the end credits on PPT’s breath…
I think my favorite quote was when Taylor finally gave in to do the dishes and she said “I’m going to scrub ‘em like I scrub my hair” That girl is priceless comedy…
I am also a green district fan, and a Laurel and Sophia fan!!!! they are amazing!!!! and how great that 6 out of the 11 gold stars went to the green district!?! I guess green does match with gold after all
For the last few weeks I’ve been hoping Hunter would win the Gold Star and I was so excited for him last night when he was finally chosen!
As for Taylor—what a prima donna! I agree with Debba that perhaps Taylor is willing to do/say anything to be on camera. I can’t believe she honestly believes ugly people deserve to die. Then again, I’d prefer to think she’s grown up in a world full of reality television where she knew enough to position herself as a villian to have as much screentime as possible as opposed to being an incredibly spoiled and diva-like ten-year-old.
And as a fan of Sophia, I’m looking forward to seeing her as sheriff next week. The joy on her face when the Town Council gave her the job of sheriff…absolutely priceless.
I just hope Sophia doesn’t “turn” like Laurel did (or at least like Laurel was edited to have become). I too can’t wait to see Sophia as Sheriff–I just hope she doesn’t let it go to her head. Maybe she can put PPT to work building a jail–and then put her in it. Oh, and another thing, Alynda would never leave us–not after all this time with so few of us still around (hello On The Lot), with just a few episodes left. You wouldn’t leave us, would you? You make my Thursdays almost as great as Josh makes my TAR Mondays.
I love Sophia. She is definitely going to be one powerful, no-nonsense chick (a term I use lovingly…please no “how could you”, “that’s completely demeaning to women”, “ugly chickens deserve to die” comments) when she gets older. Loved her lean-to library. And Tooth’s “could I trust you with my atlas and Latin (?)/ English dictionary” was priceless.
This episode contained so many hilarious moments, it’s hard to list them all. Let’s see:
*Jared’s misconstrued supermarket comment and then sneaking back to the arcade
*Sophia’s slight self-loathing with her 30-year-old-in-a-teen’s-body remark
*Tooth one uping Anjay on the PI digits dual
*The (so far) unnamed black kid in yellow district humping the hay stack after getting their first point during the showdown
*The bad breath comment towards Taylor after the episode ended
Speaking of PPT, her request not to kill some chickens because of their appearance kind of bothered me. I really do hope this show gives her parents self realization over how they’re raising this kid. With that said, while I do commend Taylor for working dishes, I hope it continues for the rest of this show and not just for arcade privilidges. Shoot…once I heard the words ‘free arcade’, I knew the kids would lose their minds. Knowing my gaming habits at their age, I wouldn’t want to work either.
I hardly watch this show but when I do, I usually end up liking it more … last night Hunter made me cry. I don’t know if it was because I was feeling down or lonely or that workout I had was making me feel things I had not felt in a long time … but thanks to Hunter and his love for his family ( sounds like he really loves his dad more ) and how he wanted to make them proud and bla bla .. I cried!
Taylor is our future and PRESENT! She is what most little girls are NOW and will become the Logans,Hiltons and Richies that we have in our world today …. wake up and accept Taylor for what she is …. a sweet,loving all American girl! jajaaa
Taylor is our future and PRESENT! She is what most little girls are NOW and will become the Logans,Hiltons and Richies that we have in our world today …. wake up and accept Taylor for what she is …. a sweet,loving all American girl! jajaaa
I think what would be great would be to have a Survivor-style reunion show at the end of the season, and invite the parents too. Well, maybe just Taylor’s parents, if it gets too crowded. I have a feeling the (bad) apple may not have fallen far from the tree.
Oh and to Aaron, to quote Alynda, you should lighten up. For all the criticism I hear about EW’s writers’ pretentious attitudes, it’s nice to see clear evidence that they don’t take themselves as seriously as some of you claim, even with their plethora of knowledge. We’re here to have fun and talk about our favorite Wednesday show that most people shunned before its airing. A little informal writing’s not going to hurt.
Sadly I doubt PPT parents think anything she says or does is wrong. Where do you think she learned to act like this? Apple – Tree. I hope they have a reunion at the end of the show w/ all of the parents present. I think quite a few of the parents have some explaining to do…PPT, Greg, Blaine and the list goes on.
I am *quite* certain Taylor’s parents know exactly how she is. And, while she may very well be playing to the camera sometimes, I think the bile that bubbles up out of her on a regular basis is unfiltered. I hope CBS puts her and her family into the Witness Protection Program when this show is over — that girl ain’t right.
My point is PPT parents know and are ok with it. In my mind that that makes them pretty crappy parents. I would love to have them questioned by the other parents. I hope they read this board.
I hope PPT’s parents read this board too, however, given Taylor’s “love” of reading, I have a feeling that they aren’t cruising our lovely little discussion. Plus, they probably think we’re ugly and well…, you know.
Just a few points:
1) I will never leave you. We have two episodes left! That’s like asking for a divorce on your 40th wedding anniversary. Hey, we’ve been together this long…
2) I come down on the side of believing PPT’s parents know precisely what they’ve raised, and are quite pleased with themselves. Essentially, I think Kit’s hit it. Everyone on reality TV who’s ever looked like a creep thinks they were edited to appear that way. It’s so much easier to blame the evil producers than to accept that maybe you’re not actually a good person.
3) Is it just me, or is Greg and Taylor’s interaction a little…odd? I’ll leave it at that.
4) Did I already mention that I wouldn’t leave you? Okay, just wanted to make sure you’re as secure in this relationship as I am.
I called that weeks ago! The way Greg interacts w/ some of the younger girls is creepy.