Prison Break: Banged and Burned

Pb_lThanks to the writers’ strike, Fox has given Prison Break‘s schedule an epic last minute overhaul. With more than a dozen episodes in the can, they’re not going to wait until December to air the fall finale, nor will they start airing episodes again in April. Rather the season cliffhanger dropped last night, and PB will be back on as soon as January.

Half of me says, "Yay!" The other half didn’t think yesterday’s show was much to sing about, much less a good breaking off point. Were we shocked when Michael was led out of Sona at the end? Not really. Do we think something terrible is waiting for him on the other side? Yes. Is it enough to keep us waiting with bated breath until after Christmas? You tell me.

Otherwise, we also found out a little more about Whistler’s secret identity. Apparently, he’s had a sweet little bachelor pad hidden from Sofia, where he kept a lot of shredded papers and a Jason Bourne-like stash of a U.S. passport and a social security card. The passport — issued to one Gary Miller in Dallas — sent Sofia reeling, but not enough to confront him about it specifically. Instead, she marched all the way down to Sona to catch him in a lie about the apartment before running to warn Linc that his life was in danger. Apparently, prison fighting beats assassin moves anyway, because he and Sucre still managed to dodge the Company’s millionth attempt to kill them.

Sofia’s discovery, however, did lead to her first run in with Susan— which was so underwhelming and drenched in forced lesbian undertonesit made me cringe. We know PB is a heterosexual man fest, but this feltlike a real lame, frat boy-pleasing, attempt at female sexuality.

As for Susan, the General ordered her to execute something called a"bang and burn" rescue to get Whistler out of Sona. First off, "bangand burn" sounds too much like a euphemism for an STD. But what itreally means is "fly in with a helicopter shooting as many guards asyou can and then grab Whistly off the roof." Did it work? Of coursenot. Michael, filled with rage, grabbed on to Whistler, weighed downthe helicopter and foiled the whole thing (see photo). Oh, the moxie on that guy.

And the stupidity. Yeah, the guards were out to get him anyway. Buthe could have hid his identity a little better after the escape attemptby not changing into almost the EXACT same shirt he was wearing duringit. Or, like Whistler, going topless.

And yes, let’s acknowledge that we did get our first season 3 glimpse of the tattoo.

Lang totally punked out on Mahone and failed to get him the drugs heneeded not to make a strung-out fool of himself during his trial. I wastotally into her. too. Now he’s gotta go back to Sona — and Michaelwon’t be there to alternately protect and betray him. (An aside: Ifound it both odd and cool that Mahone’s Panamanian hotel room had myAnthropologie bed spread.)

Meanwhile, Lechero has totally lost his grip on the prison, but hasso many demands and rules involving the escape plan (which is foiledanyway now that Mike’s out) that he’s proving to be complete deadweight. My suggestions? Get the woefully underused T-Bag into what he’scalling "the Sona Hawkins Dance" and make this party interesting.

So what did you all think? Gonna hang in till next year? I am. Or was this lackluster finale the last straw?


Comments (39 total) Add your comment
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  • Gwen

    I’m somewhat confused because I actually enjoyed the finale. I found the Gretchen/Sofia interaction a little creepy and retch-worthy. Gretchen is too Xena the Warrior Princess for me, and her toughness always looks a little forced. Any scene without her is a good one.
    Nevertheless, I thought this was anything but lackluster, and I’m definitely in next year.

  • Ben S

    I’m fed up of all the double-crosses and twists in this season. A little more storytelling would be nice.

  • apd09

    Like many others I am just not that into PB anymore. Story lines are OK, acting is so-so, but for some reason the formula has got old. It is one problem after another, and not a whole lot is accomplished in any one episode. Remember in season 1 when they actually were getting closer to escaping, because each episode the plan was revealed. This season and last, is more of just character analysis, and truthfully you can only go so far before you start tuning it out. Once you tune it out, there is nothing left.
    I will still watch, but only because I have nothing else to do on a Monday Night at 8pm.

  • dave-o

    it didnt feel like a finale as much as last weeks episode did. this show has to omany plotholes to ever be anything more than a quilty pleasure for me. michael weighing down the helicopter? seriously? thats what we’re supposed to believe?

  • Barb

    I’m still in for next season. I can’t wait to see Susan get slapped around a little. I definitely thought things were going to heat up between her and Sofia also. Kind of creepy. I like the T-Bag character and would like to see more of a story line around him.

  • K

    Hey, this is one girl who is not complaining about the tattoo shot. I like to think the producers did that all for me. I don’t care that he changed into practically the same shirt. It was all worth it. A nice flashback to season one as well.
    I would really like to see more of T-Bag. He is sorely underused.

  • Kathi

    I thought it finally got interesting, and I will keep watching. But I’m having a hard time getting over the fact that they killed Sarah and there will be no happy ending. Was glad to see the Company guy show up again, finally.

  • Chad

    I don’t care how many plot holes there may be….I still love this show. I’ve never sat down and took this show seriously and I have an insane amount of fun watching it because of that. The more double crosses, whodunnits, and who-has-the-gun-now twists and turns the better I say. And sure…they may not be season 1 worthy…but you gotta just shut your brain off and have fun. lol…now why can’t I follow my own advice and do that with Heroes!?

  • Ep Sato

    Is this show still on? I loved season one and only watched the barely watchable season 2 with the assumption that there’d be no way to drag on this overplayed concept out for more than two seasons and that we’d get some kind of real ending.

  • Joel

    I’m still enjoying this season. The Mini TV Watch person has been negative for as long as I can remember, and it’s a shame. Michael couldn’t find another shirt to put on – that was the problem. It looks like he’s going into some sort of solitary confinement next year, too. I’ll definitely be tuning in when new episodes start airing. Hopefully, we can get a new Mini-Watch person as well – one who’s not searching for the “last straw” each week.

  • G-Dog

    I don’t know what’s up with all the negative articles. This isn’t really supposed to be a review as much as a forum. If you are looking for Prison Break to get deep then you have a long wait ahead of you.
    I LOVE this show. I do think this season has slowed down, but I think it is more because last year had them running around more and this year they are confined again. I also think the second tier characters (T-Bag & Sucre) have been INCREDIBLY underused. T-Bag is one of the best characters on TV and this season he has done NOTHING. I’ll be back in January though.

  • T

    If you’re wondering if this show is still on then clearly you don’t care about it, therefore is puzzling as to why you would take the time and effort to come in here, read an episode review and write a trollish comment.

  • nancy

    I look forward to January. It is a fun show to watch – nothing ‘really could happen’ so relax and enjoy. There have been good surprises this season and good twists and turns.

  • PB boy

    A friend of mine is friends with a PA on the show who has (stupidly – I’m pissed at knowing) that that actually WASN’T Sara’s head in the box and that Sarah Wayne Callies will be back for at least one episode – my guess is the season finale.

  • LAS

    I’ll keep watching because Whistler’s got it coming to him. I despise Whistler. I live for the scene where someone in Sona tortures him with a box of nails and a heavy hammer. And although it was a bit far fetched to see Michael grab onto Whistler as he was holding onto the rope ladder, it was the best scene of the episode. Sofia finding out about Whistler’s shadiness is setting the stage for a Sofia-Linc hook-up. For the most part, this episode was an improvement. I love the fact that Gretchen’s escape plan using a helicopter and a rope ladder was just as ridiculous and ineffective as Michael’s plan to use the sun and a rope ladder.

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