It occurred to me earlier this week, as I was enjoying yet another bag of Baked! Cheetos from an EW vending machine, that I apparently Read the full post.
Nov 9
2007
01:00 PM ET
EW Health Watch: Baked! Cheetos are, like, totally tasty
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Baked cheetos with pus. Squeeze it fresh from your own pimples sprouted by eating regular cheetos. Actually pus is less harmful to your health than oxidized/glycated milk oxy-cholesterol used to coat them frickin fritters.
Baked cheetos, especially the ones with limon/jalepeno are better than tucks.
If you got some sore in deep folds that don’t heal, pack some baked cheetos there. Let them fester before licking clean after a month or two. Try not to shower meanwhile. Works on planter warts too.
When do you know you have eaten too many baked cheetos? When your turds look about the same only bigger and bloodier.
Baked Cheetos? Diabetes in Bag! Best enjoyed with your HFCS, one-liter Big Gulp while chatting with your physcian about your next TripleByPass, LipoExcavation and StomachStapling Session. Causes cellular damage via high glycemic load that spur dicarbonyls and turd loads of Advanced Glycated EndProducts that cross link proteins at cell membranes and sets of inflammation via RAGE. ChaChing ChaChing for Medical and Pharmacuetical Industry. Makes drug dealers look like amatuers.
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I liked them but stopped eating them because they gave me insane gas. Loudest and longest farts of my life.