Look, I’m no Beyoncé hater. The woman occupies two spots on my iPod’s Top 10 Most Played listing (with "Suga Mama" and "Freakum Dress"). I paid $10 to see The Fighting Temptations in the theater. I’ve even used "automobills" in casual conversation. But her latest project, the "B-Phone," launched in conjunction with Samsung, sounds more like a Saturday Night Live skit than anything anyone would ever want to buy. Ever.
The B-Phone, as its name implies, is a phone, and it’s also an MP3 player. But wait! There’s more! The B-Phone has a Beyoncé-themed startup screen and can be used to download exclusive Beyoncé photos, videos, and a song called "632-5792" that the Destiny’s Child frontwoman recorded when she was just a prepubescent diva-in-training.
A story in Billboard about the B-Phone product launch featured a doozy of a quote from Steve Stoute, who brokered the B-Phone deal: "Her fans love music, they love pictures and they love talking." No way, dude. I’m a fan of Beyoncé, but I hate talking. And I never look at pictures. Not even ones of pretty ponies. And therefore, the B-Phone is not, and never will be, for me. Nor will any other celebrity phone, for that matter. Unless maybe it’s Vanessa L. Williams. And no, I’m not going to delete that last sentence, because otherwise, I’ll never believe I wrote it.
Anyway, B-Phone. Seriously? How did this happen? And how does Samsung expect to sell more than 20 of these things? Discuss.
Umm, okay. I know people love phones and whatnot, but are you kidding me? B-Phone? This must be a joke.
Sleazak- You don’t have any fanatical paraphernalia from your pre-pubescent years? I had a New Kids on the Block sleeping bag that I used until I was 16!
BTW… hilarious reference to ‘Bills, Bills, Bills’, I love that song and never noticed they used the non-word Automobills!!!
You know why the world needs this? The world needs this because at some point in the future, someone is going to be writing an entertainment future-blog (I’m thinking nanosecond-accurate starlet tracking updates and interactive holograms of Future Idol performances), and he or she is going to ask readers to confess: What is the most inane celebrity-branded item you ever actually paid real money for. So, people will bring up the usual overpriced shoes and banal perfumes and home rhinoplasty kits, and then someone will mention that they once owned a B-phone. And everyone else will marvel at the idea of spending extra money for a cell phone with a couple of pictures and a song by a twelve-year-old and feel better about themselves, and the world will be a warmer and happier place for it.
Or, the parts that haven’t been crushed under massive piles of useless junk will, anyway.
Actually this is similar to gig a telecomunications company had here in Canada, where (for a fee natch) a recorded message by a celeb would answer your cell if it went to voicemail. Beyonce was once of the recordees. Anyways, as a coworker of mine astutely asked “Why would I want some hoochie-mama answering my phone?” Apparently this girl will put her name on anything as long as she gets a cut.
At least it appears B has learned to takes some cues from the Jigga man! KUDOS to Michael for digging & finding the BEST Beyonce ‘painted-up-looking skinny-dragqueen wannabe’ pic!!! Cue up “Bug-A-Boo”: “Throw out my pager…”
She looks like her mom.
hahahaha Vanessa L. Williams. How about the Valerie Cherish phone? Do you need to SEE THAT?
At least this picture is a good one. The woman just does not know what else to do. She has to be in front of the camera every minute-poor thing. No thanks!
You know, B, you’re making it very difficult to defend you
B-phone? hahaha lol
http://www.spymac.com/details/?2266819
Marc
I kinda am a Beyonce hater right now. And this is adding fuel to fire. First, she explodes all over radio. I can’t hate the woman for being successful, but I her songs play every seven minutes. Second, she crowbarred her way onto my favorite Justin Timberlake song (Check out the original Until the End of Time; she sounds so harsh). Finally, she attaches her name to so many projects, that the B’Phone just seems like she’s selling out. There’s a fine line between making smart deals to offer more products that your fans might enjoy and line your pockets a bit, and just being greedy.
TEAM B! I don’t think that she played her songs on the radio. Call the DJ if you have a problem. And I don’t think she forced the makers of these products to feature her. If she did she is a powerful woman. I am sure that most celebrities accept offers to promote a product as long as the product is not offenseive or illegal.
Sash, it’s obvious that celebrities can only control so much of their image. But Beyonce agreed to the stupid cell phone idea. It’s just another part of her public image, and consequently, her own overexposure. I think she’s talented. I also think she needs about a six-month vacation. Even Bey fans get tired of her and think the phone is a stupid idea.
It’s a logical progression. It doesn’t matter if it’s Beyonce or one of the other ones — perfumes, fashion, lunch boxes, celebrity-designed Visa cards, why not a phone? They’ll sell plenty of them.
OVER EXPOSURE
SHE JUST DOSEN’T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT TO DO