I could spend all afternoon griping about Big Shots,which premiered last night in the coveted post-Grey’s timeslot on ABC. But inthe interest of not giving too much attention to a show that’s a horrible fitwith its extremely popular, female-friendly lead-in, I’ll try to limit mycomplaints to a top-five list. (And be sure to look for our critic’s official take in an upcoming issue of EW):
1) The show is inhabited mostly by characters whom I want to punch in the face: Take Christopher Titus’s Brody, ranting against theeager-to-please country-club waiter about his incorrect usage of the word"shrimps," then suddenly getting all smiley and asking if the guycould (ugh) "hook a brother up?" Or how about Dylan McDermott’s Duncan declaring men gothrough three rites of passage: losing their virginity, having their firstthree-way, and discovering their wives are cheating on them?
2) Dialog that’s equal parts forced and nonsensical: Ihad to suppress a groan when Jessica Collins (trying gamely as clingy mistressMarla) was forced to deliver the line, "What kind of man would be sodeceitful as to lie to the woman he’s cheating on his wife with?" Firstrunner-up: Duncan’sretort to his friends’ suggestion that he should re-marry his ex-wife:"Yeah, right, then sex in the wine cellar becomes ‘Don’t touch me, I’mexfoliating!’" Wha?
3) Audio and visual cues that wouldn’t be amusing, evenif they weren’t so obvious: Did you hear the cabaret singer belting "I’m aWoman" when Dontelle was leaving the country club? Or notice the way Duncan popped a cigar inhis mouth when he was regaling the boys about his encounter with said trannyhooker?
4) Joshua Malina’s go-to facial expression: You know, thepained-but-hilarious "D’oh! Look I’m stuck between my wife and my mistress!"look? Except that it’s just painful, and not hilarious at all.
5) The charismatic duo of Michael Vartan (pictured) and Nia Long gettingstuck here, instead of an actual program I’d enjoy watching.
Also, McDermott’s character talks with his mouth full,and it’s disgusting. I know, I know, that’s six things I hate about Big Shots. (AndI didn’t even get to its woeful view of womankind in general.) So dole out yourpunishment, PopWatchers. It can’t be worse than watching the show again. Eitherthat, or keep adding to my list in the comments section below.
I usually agree with Slezak’s take on most things, but I have to completely disagree here. I absolutely loved Big Shots! I think it delivered on its promise to be the male Sex and the City. Let’s face it, the girls of SATC had a pretty messed up view about men most of the time so can we fault the men for being equally clueless about women? I think the show has a lot of potential and I will definitely be tuning in next week! My opinion might be skewed by the hotness of Dylan McD and Michael Vartan.
The blatant sexism, misogyny and rampant cheating seem to work on “Mad Men” but fail miserably here. I guess we expect men to be pigs in the 60s, but in 2007, I was hoping they’d grown up.
I haven’t gotten to watch my recorded episode yet, Slezak, but you’re hardly the only one who’s beating the heezy out of this show. I can only hope that this being the pilot, the late addition of Rob Thomas (“Veronica Mars” creator) as a consulting producer will give this “Shots” a…uh…shot. I love Thomas too much to want it to fail–he deserves success.
I agree with you Slezak, it was absolutely painful to watch. And I really really really wanted to like this show. Still, having the hot duo of Michael Vartan AND Dylan McDermott is enough for me to give it another shot.
After the supposedly clever businessman makes sure a hooker has his business card, I thought the show could not get dumber. Then I heard Vartan’s impassioned speech to the Board of Directors of AmeriMart: “The world is changing, Gentlemen.” No substance AT ALL. The writer should be removed from his union. Somewhere Aaron Sorkin is vomiting.
I agree with what was said by someone else. This show is Sex and the City only with men. The women of SATC were stupid women who had horrible views of men at the beginning of the show. They then grew over time to become rational women with healthy views of the opposite sex. Big Shots was funny, heart-breaking (the look on Michael Vartan’s face when he found out his wife was cheating on him) and just plain silly. It’s a welcome addition to this year’s TV season which seems to be taking itself WAY too seriously so far!!!
ABC had better not jerk Michael Vartan around again. After firing and rehiring him on Alias, they had the good sense to hire him again. Now all they have to do is get someone talented to write for Big Shots. The cast is fine, the premise can work; now all they need are some good scripts. Come on, ABC, you can do it. I’d watch Michael Vartan in anything, but he deserves something great.
I would follow Vaugh…artan to the ends of the earth, but this show is asking too much from me. The dialogue better improve soon or I’m just going to watch with the mute button.
Newsflash: Vartan wasn’t fired from Alias. I had an inside source at the show. Vartan wanted to go shoot a movie in Australia, and they knew this would be the final season for Alias so they created a storyline that would allow him to be away for the first half of the season.
exfoliating? Whaa? Men don’t exfoliate and if they do, I doubt they would talk about it. The last time I heard that word, I was watching a commerical for Mohegan Sun.
Graeme, your “inside source on Alias” is feeding you bogus information. Michael wasn’t even cast in “Rogue,” the movie you’re talking about, until MONTHS after he was fired from “Alias.”
Stephanie, the exfoliate comment was Duncan quoting what a woman would say to get out of sex (not that the man was exfoliating).
What a treat: Michael Vartan back on tv.
I liked Christopher Titus also, who I was not familar with. Now all they need Rob Thomas in charge.
graeme,
Who was your “inside” source? The copy boy? LOL Vartan was released from his contract and not by his choice. The guy didn’t even sign for “Rogue” until the middle of October. He didn’t leave for Australia until the beginning of November. His last day of shooting was the middle of August. Your time table doesn’t work. Better luck next time. LOL
I know, you’ll probably think I’m crazy, but I looooove Joshua Malina. Will tune in simply for him. Oh, and speaking as a female, I hate Grey’s, so don’t really care how well it fits.