I’ll be honest: Up until today, I’d never even heard of Snow and the Seven. But all of a sudden, I’m seriously psyched for the upcoming film, which will be a live-action retelling of the Snow White tale. Not because of today’s news that Constantine helmer Francis Lawrence will be directing. (Can’t really imagine anyone getting too excited about that, aside from die-hard Keanu loyalists.) No, it was a fleeting detail in Variety’s report that caught my eye: The movie, it seems, "focuseson a British girl raised in 19th-century Hong Kong who realizes herdestiny is to conquer an evil force. She then prepares to fight bytraining with seven Shaolin monks." Kung-fu clerics instead of whistling dwarfs — it’s sheer genius! And according to IMDb, none of Snow’s stars have been chosen yet.
Which brings me to my point. See, I’ve got a brilliant suggestion for those seven all-important roles. You heard it here first: Just cast the eight remaining members of the Wu-Tang Clan, who are currently getting ready to drop their first album since 2001.
Yes, yes, I know — eight rappers can’t play seven monks. This means some hard choices are ahead; sorry, Masta Killa, but you’re probably going to have to sit this one out. But otherwise, they’re perfect. Anyone who’s heard the Wu’s music knows how much they dig martial-arts mythology. They even refer to their home borough of Staten Island as "Shaolin" in homage to the supremely badass monastic order. The RZA and Method Man have already shown off their acting chops in such fine films as Derailed and How High, respectively, and rumor has it Ghostface Killah turns up in the new Iron Man. The rest of the Clan should have no problem kicking knowledge to a princess on the big screen. And if the producers want to go traditional and surround their Snow with seven Shaolin dwarfs, no problem — picture a tiny little digitally-shrunken Raekwon, like the elfin Ludacris in that Fred Claus trailer. (No kidding — check him out around the 1:38 mark.) Instant cinematic gold, I’m telling you.
So, anyway, PopWatchers, who’s with me?
Comments (1-6) of 6 Add your comment
If you really want to make an argument for Wu-Tang, you should mention The RZA’s and Method Man’s work in “Coffee and Cigarettes” and “The Wire” respectively.
Simon sez yes, Sato says no.
The Wu already had a chance to add to the Kung fu mythology when they did their Playstation 1 video game, and they didn’t exactly shine. Yes it was fun to have four Wu-bangers fight at once, but the martial arts moves were a little blah. Them cats don’t a real enough understanding of martial arts to make it convincing.
Remember that movie the show? The Wu went to Japan hit up the arcades. They didn’t hit up dojos. And them cats probably never seen a Shaolin temple outside of the one in “Master Killer”.
A better fantasy cast? Bet. How about Jet Li, Sammo Hung, Bolo Yeung, Jackie Chan, Hiro from Heroes, Chow Yun Fat and Gordon Lau as “grumpy”. There you get a mix of funny, talented, AND able to actually do their own stunts.
Wu tang in a real martial arts movie. It’s about as silly as Sonny Chiba doing a hardcore east coast hip hop album with guest rappers Bruce Leah and Bruce Le.
EP that cast sounds pretty reasonable, but we have to put in Mad TV’s Bobby Lee as Snow White. He’s hilarious.
Yo, I think that makes an interesting cast but why are we dropping Masta Killa, he can play a role in that joint somewhere. Remember that!
rhlg vnkiyf qogcp tqirg qwdvusxmi xlfwvjg bfcoplszt
Method Man is ill in The Wire. Nuff said.