In honor (read: defiance) of Friday the 13th, I give you my list of pop-culture things that freak me out. You’ll make fun of me, but after you’ve done with that, PopWatchers, please share your own personal frights.
13. Dakota Fanning’s Marc Jacobs ads
Disclaimer: I’m not saying that I fear this extremely talented tween (I’m not that mean). It’s just that I expect to see runway models sporting couture when I thumb through Vogue. But 13-year-olds? Not so much.
12. Macy Gray’s voice
The best way to get me out of a party is to have the DJ spin “I Try” by the eccentric pop artist. (I had to endure a few bars just to paste this link, and it was a difficult task.) I think Macy Gray is creative and talented, but I just can’t deal with her voice. My dad once took me to a Carlos Santana concert and heavy traffic made us two hours late. We arrived at the beginning of Santana’s set. But I’d never been so happy in my life. Why, you ask? Because Macy Gray was the opening act….
11. Starbucks
If you’re questioning the coffee company’s pop-culture relevance, I give you exhibit A: celebrities sipping the ubiquitous Starbucks latte. And exhibit B. And exhibit C: my addiction to iced soy chai. Frightening. And expensive.
10. R.L. Stine novels
Backstabbing stepsisters (and by that I mean stepsisters who actually stab you in the back), and drama queens who want a part in the school play so much they’ll do anything to get it — these wacko adolescents fill R.L. Stine’s novels. And even though the books scared the bejesus out of me, I read one about every week as a teen.
9. The music video for “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”
As a kid, I hadso many questions about this video: “Mom, is he dancing with a deadwoman?” “Why is he doing that?” “Is she really dead?” That lastquestion — and kudos to Kim Basinger for seeming so realistic — wasperhaps the most difficult to grapple with. I love this song and Irealize now that the video represents its most literal interpretation,which makes it kind of heartbreaking. But mostly it just gives me thecreeps.
8. Grown-up kid stars
Call me crazy, but I really feel like Igrew up with the kids from Nickelodeon (Amanda Bynes, Kenan Thompson),Disney Channel stars (Hillary Duff, Shia LaBeouf). Not to mention thoseOlsen twins (T.G.I.F. anyone?). So when I see them all shiny and grownup — as many of them are in this week’s issue of EW (see: “TweenSpirit”) -– it’s a little hard to deal.
7. “Aquemini” by Outkast
Seven is lucky, right? So, I figuredthis was the perfect spot for my so-good-it’s-scary pop-culture item.If you haven’t heard this song from the band’s critically acclaimedalbum of the same name, it’s definitely worth a download. (For whatit’s worth, the whole album is pretty amazing.) The music is eerilydissonant; the lyrics, intriguing. There are so many good elements tothis song, you’ll want to listen over and over again.
6. Nickelodeon’s Are You Afraid of the Dark?
I give you…the tale of the scariest kid’s show ever. Remember SNICK’s All That, The Secret World of Alex Mack,and this 30-minute-horrorfest? Scary stuff. Squeaky-voiced teens toldtales of ghosts, headless horsemen, and wayward clowns, who made normaladolescent stuff (dating, acne, geekdom) look easy. (Hey, was that thepoint of this show?) A few weeks ago, my roommates rushed to my doorafter hearing my high-pitched scream. “What’s wrong?” they asked.Naturally, I told them I had been watching an old episode of Are You Afraid online.
5. Gnarls Barkley’s “Necromancer”
It appears that this trackfrom the Cee-lo/Danger Mouse mash-up is about necrophilia, and thoughI’m sure it has a deeper meaning, I can’t listen to it long enough tospeculate on what that might be.
4. The Shining (1980)
Jack Nicholson. Don’t think I need to say any more.
3. The Sixth Sense (1999)
My sister and I first watched thisafter our dad installed surround sound in our basement. We heard everycreak, scream, and whisper. And my sister heard a blood-curdling screamwhen M. Night Shyalaman cuts to a hanging corpse in the school scene.The shriek was mine.
2. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video
OK, so not totally original. I think any ’80s baby who saw this video got a little “shook.” But I still can’t watch it alone.
1. Poltergeist (1982)
As if all of the urban legendsassociated with this ghoulish franchise weren’t enough, I have my ownreasons for why I will always be scared of this movie, no matter howmany times I watch it. This was the first real horror film my parentsallowed me to see (I’d begged them), and we sat together on our couchto watch it together. Until my dad thought it’d be a good idea to gobehind the couch, and jump out and scare me during the closet scene. (Carol Ann! Carol Ann! Come into the light!). He screamed boo! I screamed aaaah! And then I burst into tears. It’s a wound that has never completely healed.
Can anyone tell me if it’s true that Steven Spielberg is making a film of the book “Leonardo’s Shadow”?
But “I Try” is so good!
‘Poltergeist’ still scares the pants off me. To this day I cannot be in the same room as a doll that resembles a clown.
I am so happy someone is as scared of Poltergeist as I am…I wish I had an excuse, but that damn clown is scaring the s*** out of me!
You can’t mention R.L. Stein without also mentioning Christopher Pike, who induced many a goosebump for me and my friends in middle school.
The scene in Poltergeist where the steak crawls across the counter STILL gives me chills. As does that little woman; I nearly passed out when she showed up in 16 Candles.
I wish I could find some old R.L. Stine books to read. They were so addicting.
My list:
1) The Snuggle Bear. It looks demonic, creepy and makes me miss the porcupine. He was cool.
2) Sam Rockwell. I love this actor, but he’s creepy.
3) The “Scarecrow” in Batman Begins. Gave me nightmares and I’m 30.
4) Dr. 90210. Why do they have to show the surgical proceedures? Cosmetic, optional and totally gross half the time.
5) The pudding in “better off dead”. Remember when it walks off the table? I could never eat Corn Puffs because they reminded me of that scene.
6) Oddball tv predictions that come true: When Laugh in Said Reagan would be President in 1988. Creepy.
7) Hugh Hefner dating 20 year olds.
8) Marilyn Manson. What a skanky creep.
9) Bald Britney Spears. I’d rather listen to fingernails on a chalkboard than see that photo again
10) Joe Pesci’s death in Casino. Fear Frank Marino!
11) Dick Chaney. He’s not an actor, but he creeps me out.
12) Wild animal documentaries. I always think “what if the lion ate me?”
13) According to Jim’s popularity.
I saw Sixth Sense in the theaters; what, in 1999? I bought it when it came out and I’ve never watched it. For 7 years I haven’t found the courage to go through it again.
Oh, the creepiest Poltergeist scene is when that guy is peeling off his skin and bloody chunks are falling into the sink. Ahhhhhhh….
“The Watcher in the Woods”! I thought it was a childhood thing, but even today I still can’t watch.
Michael Myers is the scariest thing imaginable, I still have nightmares about my evil step father making me watch these movies, at the age of 7! That’s torture, or neglect or something.
Oh and in “The Shining” Jack Nicholson didn’t scare me as much as the kid did. “Mrs Torence…Mrs Torence..” Ahhh still gives me the chills!
By the way…I meant I watched those movies at the age of 7, I’m now 22. Sorry about that…
Wow…did you read my mind today? Are You Afraid of the Dark, The Shining, The Sixth Sense, and Thriller all gave me the creeps. I don’t like to watch the Sixth Sense alone. Zebo the clown scared me to death on “Dark.” Thriller leaves me with bad memories as a little kid. And The Shining. Oh the Shining. Sometimes I check the bathtub to make sure the scary blue lady isn’t there. Yikes! Also as a child, I was definitely scared of Chucky. I had bad dreams about my cabbage patch dolls because of that!!
I had to listen to Macy Gray open for David Bowie. Seriously, out of all the acts that could have opened for The Starman, MACY GRAY?! I bought her CD once but was quickly turned off because her voice became very irritating.
As for the others:
1.Burger King Plastic Head Guy
2. The announcer for Crazy Eddie (I’m old)
3. Gilbert Godfried
4. Urkel
5. Sanjaya
6. Joan Rivers
Big big BIG horror fan, but still won’t watch a single Freddy Krueger movie. He gets you while you’re sleeping and I’m just not down with that.
Tom Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More” video. Alice turns into cake and then they eat her. Completely freaks me out.
The flying monkeys in “Wizard of Oz”. Witch alright, trees a little freaky, monkeys…aaahhhh!
Mr. Rogers Neighborhood puppets. Particularly Lady Elaine Fairchilde.
Clowns, dolls, puppets, manequins, marionettes, dummies. If it’s made to look like a human being it freaks me out. The more it looks like a human being the more it freaks me out ~ particularly porcelain dolls with glass eyes and clown dolls (like in Poltergeist). I swear they all get up at night and plot against the humans. I know, I have issues.
I have to agree with Macy Gray’s voice. Like nails on a chalkboard to me.
Chef Gordon Ramsay. Intimidating as all heck.
The crypt keeper.
Salems Lot. Both the book and the original miniseries. Far scarier than most horror films made today.
Samara from The Ring. Terrified of that girl. Menacing.