In honor (read: defiance) of Friday the 13th, I give you my list of pop-culture things that freak me out. You’ll make fun of me, but after you’ve done with that, PopWatchers, please share your own personal frights.
13. Dakota Fanning’s Marc Jacobs ads
Disclaimer: I’m not saying that I fear this extremely talented tween (I’m not that mean). It’s just that I expect to see runway models sporting couture when I thumb through Vogue. But 13-year-olds? Not so much.
12. Macy Gray’s voice
The best way to get me out of a party is to have the DJ spin “I Try” by the eccentric pop artist. (I had to endure a few bars just to paste this link, and it was a difficult task.) I think Macy Gray is creative and talented, but I just can’t deal with her voice. My dad once took me to a Carlos Santana concert and heavy traffic made us two hours late. We arrived at the beginning of Santana’s set. But I’d never been so happy in my life. Why, you ask? Because Macy Gray was the opening act….
11. Starbucks
If you’re questioning the coffee company’s pop-culture relevance, I give you exhibit A: celebrities sipping the ubiquitous Starbucks latte. And exhibit B. And exhibit C: my addiction to iced soy chai. Frightening. And expensive.
10. R.L. Stine novels
Backstabbing stepsisters (and by that I mean stepsisters who actually stab you in the back), and drama queens who want a part in the school play so much they’ll do anything to get it — these wacko adolescents fill R.L. Stine’s novels. And even though the books scared the bejesus out of me, I read one about every week as a teen.
9. The music video for “Mary Jane’s Last Dance”
As a kid, I hadso many questions about this video: “Mom, is he dancing with a deadwoman?” “Why is he doing that?” “Is she really dead?” That lastquestion — and kudos to Kim Basinger for seeming so realistic — wasperhaps the most difficult to grapple with. I love this song and Irealize now that the video represents its most literal interpretation,which makes it kind of heartbreaking. But mostly it just gives me thecreeps.
8. Grown-up kid stars
Call me crazy, but I really feel like Igrew up with the kids from Nickelodeon (Amanda Bynes, Kenan Thompson),Disney Channel stars (Hillary Duff, Shia LaBeouf). Not to mention thoseOlsen twins (T.G.I.F. anyone?). So when I see them all shiny and grownup — as many of them are in this week’s issue of EW (see: “TweenSpirit”) -– it’s a little hard to deal.
7. “Aquemini” by Outkast
Seven is lucky, right? So, I figuredthis was the perfect spot for my so-good-it’s-scary pop-culture item.If you haven’t heard this song from the band’s critically acclaimedalbum of the same name, it’s definitely worth a download. (For whatit’s worth, the whole album is pretty amazing.) The music is eerilydissonant; the lyrics, intriguing. There are so many good elements tothis song, you’ll want to listen over and over again.
6. Nickelodeon’s Are You Afraid of the Dark?
I give you…the tale of the scariest kid’s show ever. Remember SNICK’s All That, The Secret World of Alex Mack,and this 30-minute-horrorfest? Scary stuff. Squeaky-voiced teens toldtales of ghosts, headless horsemen, and wayward clowns, who made normaladolescent stuff (dating, acne, geekdom) look easy. (Hey, was that thepoint of this show?) A few weeks ago, my roommates rushed to my doorafter hearing my high-pitched scream. “What’s wrong?” they asked.Naturally, I told them I had been watching an old episode of Are You Afraid online.
5. Gnarls Barkley’s “Necromancer”
It appears that this trackfrom the Cee-lo/Danger Mouse mash-up is about necrophilia, and thoughI’m sure it has a deeper meaning, I can’t listen to it long enough tospeculate on what that might be.
4. The Shining (1980)
Jack Nicholson. Don’t think I need to say any more.
3. The Sixth Sense (1999)
My sister and I first watched thisafter our dad installed surround sound in our basement. We heard everycreak, scream, and whisper. And my sister heard a blood-curdling screamwhen M. Night Shyalaman cuts to a hanging corpse in the school scene.The shriek was mine.
2. Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video
OK, so not totally original. I think any ’80s baby who saw this video got a little “shook.” But I still can’t watch it alone.
1. Poltergeist (1982)
As if all of the urban legendsassociated with this ghoulish franchise weren’t enough, I have my ownreasons for why I will always be scared of this movie, no matter howmany times I watch it. This was the first real horror film my parentsallowed me to see (I’d begged them), and we sat together on our couchto watch it together. Until my dad thought it’d be a good idea to gobehind the couch, and jump out and scare me during the closet scene. (Carol Ann! Carol Ann! Come into the light!). He screamed boo! I screamed aaaah! And then I burst into tears. It’s a wound that has never completely healed.
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Can anyone tell me if it’s true that Steven Spielberg is making a film of the book “Leonardo’s Shadow”?
But “I Try” is so good!
‘Poltergeist’ still scares the pants off me. To this day I cannot be in the same room as a doll that resembles a clown.
I am so happy someone is as scared of Poltergeist as I am…I wish I had an excuse, but that damn clown is scaring the s*** out of me!
You can’t mention R.L. Stein without also mentioning Christopher Pike, who induced many a goosebump for me and my friends in middle school.
The scene in Poltergeist where the steak crawls across the counter STILL gives me chills. As does that little woman; I nearly passed out when she showed up in 16 Candles.
I wish I could find some old R.L. Stine books to read. They were so addicting.
My list:
Marilyn Manson. What a skanky creep.
1) The Snuggle Bear. It looks demonic, creepy and makes me miss the porcupine. He was cool.
2) Sam Rockwell. I love this actor, but he’s creepy.
3) The “Scarecrow” in Batman Begins. Gave me nightmares and I’m 30.
4) Dr. 90210. Why do they have to show the surgical proceedures? Cosmetic, optional and totally gross half the time.
5) The pudding in “better off dead”. Remember when it walks off the table? I could never eat Corn Puffs because they reminded me of that scene.
6) Oddball tv predictions that come true: When Laugh in Said Reagan would be President in 1988. Creepy.
7) Hugh Hefner dating 20 year olds.
9) Bald Britney Spears. I’d rather listen to fingernails on a chalkboard than see that photo again
10) Joe Pesci’s death in Casino. Fear Frank Marino!
11) Dick Chaney. He’s not an actor, but he creeps me out.
12) Wild animal documentaries. I always think “what if the lion ate me?”
13) According to Jim’s popularity.
I saw Sixth Sense in the theaters; what, in 1999? I bought it when it came out and I’ve never watched it. For 7 years I haven’t found the courage to go through it again.
Oh, the creepiest Poltergeist scene is when that guy is peeling off his skin and bloody chunks are falling into the sink. Ahhhhhhh….
“The Watcher in the Woods”! I thought it was a childhood thing, but even today I still can’t watch.
Michael Myers is the scariest thing imaginable, I still have nightmares about my evil step father making me watch these movies, at the age of 7! That’s torture, or neglect or something.
Oh and in “The Shining” Jack Nicholson didn’t scare me as much as the kid did. “Mrs Torence…Mrs Torence..” Ahhh still gives me the chills!
By the way…I meant I watched those movies at the age of 7, I’m now 22. Sorry about that…
Wow…did you read my mind today? Are You Afraid of the Dark, The Shining, The Sixth Sense, and Thriller all gave me the creeps. I don’t like to watch the Sixth Sense alone. Zebo the clown scared me to death on “Dark.” Thriller leaves me with bad memories as a little kid. And The Shining. Oh the Shining. Sometimes I check the bathtub to make sure the scary blue lady isn’t there. Yikes! Also as a child, I was definitely scared of Chucky. I had bad dreams about my cabbage patch dolls because of that!!
I had to listen to Macy Gray open for David Bowie. Seriously, out of all the acts that could have opened for The Starman, MACY GRAY?! I bought her CD once but was quickly turned off because her voice became very irritating.
As for the others:
1.Burger King Plastic Head Guy
2. The announcer for Crazy Eddie (I’m old)
3. Gilbert Godfried
4. Urkel
5. Sanjaya
6. Joan Rivers
Big big BIG horror fan, but still won’t watch a single Freddy Krueger movie. He gets you while you’re sleeping and I’m just not down with that.
Tom Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More” video. Alice turns into cake and then they eat her. Completely freaks me out.
The flying monkeys in “Wizard of Oz”. Witch alright, trees a little freaky, monkeys…aaahhhh!
Mr. Rogers Neighborhood puppets. Particularly Lady Elaine Fairchilde.
Clowns, dolls, puppets, manequins, marionettes, dummies. If it’s made to look like a human being it freaks me out. The more it looks like a human being the more it freaks me out ~ particularly porcelain dolls with glass eyes and clown dolls (like in Poltergeist). I swear they all get up at night and plot against the humans. I know, I have issues.
I have to agree with Macy Gray’s voice. Like nails on a chalkboard to me.
Chef Gordon Ramsay. Intimidating as all heck.
The crypt keeper.
Salems Lot. Both the book and the original miniseries. Far scarier than most horror films made today.
Samara from The Ring. Terrified of that girl. Menacing.
Because of the beginning of the most recent Dawn of the Dead, any neighborhood where the houses all look alike and long dark hallways are ridiculously creepy.
Also, Tales From the Crypt. The evil cackle at the end of the opening credits. I’d literally turn the channel to avoid that.
1) Absolutely agree with “Watcher in the Woods”! That was a Disney movie for Heaven’s sake– but that girl that was reaching out of mirrors?!?! AHHH!! And Bette Davis. Say nothing more.
2) Meg Ryan’s new face.
3) The banging sound in “The Changeling”. (The little boy Joseph that was murdered in the bathtub by his father, and he was banging his arm against the tub while he was dying.) I swear, when the dryer door swings open and hits my washer, it makes the same sound, and I wind up with goosebumps for an hour.
4) Fur Elise by Beethoven. I know he wrote the thing as a child’s lullaby, but tell me that doesn’t sound chilling and disturbing to you!
5) Nicole Richie is going to be a mother.
i still can’t watch any scene from ‘chitty chitty bang bang’ that the Child Catcher is in. especially when he looks through the window
* the Last Unicorn and All Dog’s Go to Heaven. the animation is bizzare and some of the scenes are pretty terrifying. I can’t believe those were my favorite movies as a child
* the Dawn of the Dead remake. scene with zombie baby = too scary
* Hey Paula (enough said)
* 100 Scariest Movie Moments on Bravo. i can’t watch that alone
* Trainspotting. three words: baby on ceiling
* haunting television show scores (ie rome)
* unsolved mysteries. i don’t know what scared me more, the music or the bad acting
* that one care bears movie that had a lady’s head in a crystal ball
* any made for tv stephen king movie
* the fact that conservipedia actually exists
* any movie that has a scene with empty swings swinging
* the song “jeepers creepers”
* the fact that the daily show and the colbert report are becoming the most reliable news sources
I cannot tell a lie…I also, am one of the ones deathly afraid of Poltergeist. That was the first scary movie I watched and that clown has got to be the worst. Shortly after that film came out, I stayed at a relatives house where one of their rooms was decorated ALL in clowns. Needless to say, they had to hide all of them in a closet because I screamed while being in the room. Crybaby!! Ha ha, Im almost 30 and still scared!
Cashby~ I remember “The Last Unicorn” and I agree that the animation was freaky. Also, the ending was awful. She’s the only unicorn that will ever know regret. That’s a nice how do you do for saving the rest of your kind! Also “Trainspotting” but I thought the scene with him fishing through the toilet was the worst. Yuck!
Okay… The “Thriller” video scared me soo badly that I remained afraid of MJ for years (not necessarily a bad thing). Until, that is, I realized that his old stuff is pretty amazing. I still remember walking out into the living room when my parents were watching the video, hiding, and then screaming/crying when his eyes turn yellow at the end! Scary!!!
One more… the bathtub scene in “What Lies Beneath” – a week later I had to pull the drain in a tub and got so freaked out I almost hyperventilated!!!
I totally loved “Are You Afraid of the Dark” when I was younger, it almost bordered on addiction, haha. Where can you watch the episodes online? YouTube?
Vonnie,
I agree with you. As a kid I was so scared of that movie that I did not want a television in my room.
I have to say that Leonid the magnificant is creepy, but he had the best gay pride catch phrase of this Summer: “Go to hell! I know who I am!” I can see that phrase on T-shirts.
Whoa…I have a deep-seated fear of “Poltergeist” myself because my sister and I saw it on video at an insanely young age. Could explain my ongoing fear of clowns and complete antipathy to horror movies in general.
my brother always said he never saw a 2 year old run faster than me when the thriller video came on. i can still remember how terrifying i thought that was. also, freddie krueger and chuckie. and because i was afraid of chuckie, i was afraid of those my buddy dolls. the one in my house had to be thrown in the backyard every night so i would sleep.
1. It: the miniseries, and the old cover of the book with Tim Curry as Pennywise on the cover. He stares at you!
2. Christopher Pike was way scarier than R.L. Stine. I still have some of his books.
3. The original Nightmare on Elm Street freaked me out and I didn’t even see it until I was 19. When Freddy is in the boiler room and his knives are scraping the pipes…creepy!
4. Watcher in the Woods was definitely one of the scariest things when I was a kid. I watched it a while ago when it came out on DVD and fell asleep, so thankfully it doesn’t bother me anymore.
5. The theme song from Doctor Who, but the one from the 80s with Tom Baker. I used to run out of the room.
6. Tim Curry as The Darkness in Legend. He’s a giant devil; I think I am justified in being scared.
7. Any horror movie where the killer is just a screwed-up guy with a chainsaw or something like that. I’m fine with the supernatural because it’s not real, but crazy people with weapons could actually get me.
Killer Bob from Twin Peaks. That was a scary character from the way he looked to the way he grinned and laughed.
This is crazy…but the video for “Do you really want to hurt me?” by Culture Club scared the crap out of me when I was young. Something about Boy George popping up everywhere and being able to escape from prison just by dancing. Still freaks me out a bit to this day even though I’ve seen Culture Club in concert.