I already outed myself a while back in EW as an off-duty sweat-panted, couch-slouching, design-and-
home-improvement-porn-TV junkie, so don’t act so shocked that I’m here and not off watching small, exquisite Albanian films. I wouldn’t miss the kickoff of Top Design for all the imitation schoolhouse lamps in Pottery Barn.
Love the grizzly Neanderthal hetero John teamed up with the Tinkerbell-of-the-ball Michael, promising weeks of sniping fun ahead as John demonstrates his taste for bearskin and Michael rolls his eyes. “How do you argue with a narcissist?” Love the way Todd Oldham (pictured) calls everyone “you guys,” as if he’s wrangling teens at a sweet sixteen. I can’t say I loved that movie prop of a garden rake Goil and Elizabeth placed in the center of their relaxation pit. Elizabeth’s movie production background was showing, maybe she worked on Babe. But the tableau did summon up some nice ladylike scissoring from Elle Décor’s Margaret Russell, who called the scene a “sandbox.”
On the other hand, I don’t know what the heck Alexis Arquette wasdoing in full drag-queen-at-an-espresso-bar wardrobe as the show’sfirst celebrity client—unless the producers of Top Designwant to let us know right from the front door that this series is goingto cut quickly to the theatrical and the personality-driven. Which,after Project Runway and Top Chef, thefranchise-builders may have decided is the only way to keep the partygoing, since everyone seems to have arrived wearing his or her identitylike a color swatch.
What do you think, PopWatchers? After one episode, is Top Designa few shades too pale an imitation of the the reality/creativity seriesbefore it? Or is it, as these energetic contestants might call it,“Stanley Kubrick meets Funkadelic. Minimal meets retro meets fun meetseclectic—half Henry Rollins, half Evel Knievel”? And would you live inany of those rooms?
What was really funny was that she called not just a sandbox, but a ‘litterbox’!
Was it just me, or did Todd Oldham sound as horrifically catatonic as dear pothead Padma on Top Chef? My sister was like “it’s just his lisp!” but I was cringing. But the faux-Anna Wintour/Nina Garcia woman was hilarious, her eyebrows alone speak volumes. She was full-on “Devil Wears Prada”, like she wishes she was editing Elle instead of Elle Decor!
Todd Oldham reminded me more of Kenneth Ellen, the hilariously bizarre NBC page on 30 Rock. Except it was disturbing because Todd Oldham is a real person.
Haha… I thought his mannerisms sounded familiar. The Kenneth comparison is so spot on.
Wake up and smell the poppers, Lisa. John is no more heterosexual than Michael – he’s just one of those conflicted queens who can’t deal with effeminate gay men, and who over-compensates by going to the gym and trying to be as butch as possible. It’s called Internalised Homophobia. Dollars to donuts he has a profile online somewhere declaring himself as ‘Straight Acting’ and declaring his hatred for ‘Fats and Fems’. Michael’s wrist may be too limp to use a paint brush, but at least he’s not a self-loathing idiot.
CL–I am so with you! It took me all episode to figure out who Todd sounded like and then around 11:45 it hit me!
Also, was anyone beyond horrified when head judge Jonathan Adler said to the two kicked off ladies “See ya later, decorator”? Hopefully that’s not one catch phrase that’s gunna stick around.
wait–did anyone really think John was straight?? He is totally a straight up Fire Island Butch Bear, c’mon people!
1) Todd Oldham seemed very uncomfortable as host. Makes me really, really miss Tim Gunn even more.
2) Seeing those five items does not scream “peace and tranquility”. Nor does it scream nobody-drag-queen-with-a-famous-last-name mystery client either.
3) John & Michael should’ve been the ones voted off. Talk about odd couples…
4) Goil?
5) “Half-Henry Rollins, half Evel Kenevel????” WTF does that mean????
6) The Goil(?)/Elizabeth playground, I mean, room complete with rake, chalkboard, and litterbox/sandbox/whatever-that-thing-was wins? Are the judges on drugs?
7) Goil?
I see Top Design going the way of Project Runway……weird wins! If someone put that sandbox in my house,, I’d have them arrested.
Sorry, Lisa, but I hated it. Maybe it’s just because I don’t care about interior design, but I also don’t care about clothes or eating eel, but I still love the other two shows. Maybe it’s just because this show is too subjective. All of the rooms looked fine to me. I understand that the two losing rooms didn’t fit Alexis, but they also had no clue who they were designing for, so I can’t blame them. And yeah, Todd Oldham may actually be a worse host than Katie Lee Joel was.
I’m hooked, of course, but I do have some issues.
It really bugs me that they had to team up right off the bat. I would have preferred the first challenge be indiviual. How can you possibly have any idea what each persons style is like when they immediately have to pair up with a complete stranger and compromise on an end product. The teamwork aspect is important but I think it should come later, after we have some clue as to who these people are and where they are coming from in terms of style, vision, taste, etc.
Having said all that… A litterbox, a swing, a chair, and a giant bell pepper… That’s $50,000 worth of crap? Really?
Oh, and Goil? Walking in the front door and rearranging furniture in the boys apartment? Am I the only person irritated by that? Sheesh.
Didn’t you (or at lease someone at EW) watch “The Surreal Life” or at least last year’s GLAAD awards? Alexis Arquette is a transexual, not a drag queen.
Lisa, you writing a blog is like asking Heidie Klum to work along side the rest of the designers; love your movie reviews. I don’t read them for your opinion but mostly for your writing style. LOVE IT!
P.S. can you make Slezak your stand – in?
I thought it was hard to watch because when they showed the finished rooms, there was too much to take in in the short time they were shown. On Project Runway, you can make a snap judgement about the finished oufit–on Top Design, it’s more like, “Well, I like the chair, but I don’t like the color of the walls, but I like that table…” and then it’s gone. In any case, I’ll give it another chance and see if it gets better.
I love Todd. It took Heidi a little while to find her own stride – give him time.