Oprah Winfrey turns 53 today, and what was I going to do? Not honor her with a haiku? You know she has so much power and money that if she wanted, I could wake up tomorrow in a cardboard hut in the Arctic Circle with no idea who I am or how I got there. Also, she’s pretty awesome, so let’s get to work.
oprah, change my life
you have power, pretty hair
please endorse popwatch
Gender, social classes
divide us, but you talk to
me as an equal
Hey Oprah, GOprah!
Go Oprah-Go Oprah-Go!
Hey Oprah, Goprah!
School in africa?
Check. What to buy next? Oh, a
Rachael ray dart board!
one thousand dollars?
i’ll change the world for you
give me more money…
All powerful one
Nix Rachel Ray show, instead
Amy Sedaris!!!!!!!
Oprah’s new Book Club
Makes me want to read novels
Because she said so
Sycophant housewives
Touch the hem of your garment,
Drool like Pavlov’s dogs
Patting your own back
Gifts are best given low key
Insist we all know
Your own magazine
Always on your own cover
Full of yourself much?
oprah, go away
so your lemmings will follow.
free thinking works best
The power you have
Makes grown men jump on couches
You sho’ is GORGEOUS.
Giver of free things
Heart and pocketbook so full
Please buy me a car.
Thought of another, sorry, lol.
The vacant masses
Think your inane blattering
Is the word of god.
Whoops, meant “blathering”.
Oprah rules the world
We mere mortals can just bask
In her Oprah-tastic light