It’s easy enough to identify the best Christmas tunes (like every track on the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack, perhaps?), but worst is a bit harder. Read the full post.
Dec 18
2006
08:17 PM ET
Worst Christmas Songs Ever?
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The one that stands out in my mind is so bad it’s good…David Bowie and Bing Crosby’s “Little Drummer Boy”. It’s just surreal!
Billy Idol doing “White Christmas”…cringe-worthy.
oh that waitresses song “christmas wrapping” is just weird and stupid. and i agree about that paul mcartney song… but im also not a fan of that john lennon song with the kids in the background… i cant listen to kids trying to reach high notes that are too far from reach. makes my ears bleed.
Hey Santa by Wilson Phillips….yuck!
The dogs barking Jingle Bells tops my all-time list of bad songs period. This year in particular I’ve heard Barbara Streisand’s Jingle Bells while shopping and started looking for the exit. Sounds like it’s being played at the wrong speed. As far as lyrics are concerned, “Do you hear what I hear?” is just plain bad.
Having spent the greater part of my teenage years working in a mall, I’m going to go with Wilson Philip’s ‘Hey Santa’…. I can still hear it echoing around in my head, and it’s painful to me.
I was in a hardware store yesterday and accidentally heard Jessica Simpson butchering a Christmas song… I think it was “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing”, but I was trying hard to not listen. It was baaaaaaaad. (And by the way, “Wonderful Christmastime” is wonderfully cheesy.)
My sister made me listen to that Newsong thing and now I hate her. My own sister. I hate her. Thanks, Newsong, you losers.
Hey now. I’m not a big Christmas Shoes fan (a radio station I used to listen to played it every hour), but where do you get off saying it’s fake sentimentality? Why so quick to judge someone’s motives? Uncalled for.
Simpsons Christmas Boogie tops my list of annoying Christmas songs.
I have to try to be very respectful with this because Dean Martin died on Christmas Day, 1995. But I really dislike his easy-going version of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” because he keeps referring to the title character as “Rudy”!
Laura, I say it’s fake sentimentality because when I can listen for ten seconds and hear about a dying mother, pathetic wretch of a child, and get a reference to “if Mama meets Jesus tonight”… Well, that’s just the trifecta of heartsting-tugging Christmas schmaltz.
I’m stuck listening to Xmas music for 8 hours a day at work (work at a radio station that’s gone all christmas), which means it’s really not hard to find a bad Christmas song. Christmas Shoes and Hey Santa are definitely at the top, but what about “Happy Holidays” from Andy Williams? Some might say it’s a classic, but let me give you an example of the lyrics:
It’s the Holiday Season
So Whoop Dee Do
And Dickory Dock
Don’t forget
To hang up your sock
…
He’ll be coming down the chimney down (yes, down twice)
What the hell is that? It’s not like the song has 20 verses which would explain why the lyrics got a little thin near the end.. that one is constantly in my head..
Gloria Estefan’s Love on Layaway is pretty cheese too..
“Christmas Shoes” is the worst song period. Nothing else even comes close.
Runners up include:
“Hey Santa” by Wilson Phillips
“Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney. Are you simply having a wonderful Christmastime, Paul? Go have it somewhere else.
The Destiny’s Child version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” There are no redeeming qualities to this song whatsoever.
There’s a version of Jingle Bells by Liza Minelli (or it could be Barbra Streisand) that used to play on the stereo every hour or so when I worked retail that makes my ears bleed.
The one by the bitter sounding guy where he says “They sold me a fairy story, they sold my a silent night…” -I’m sorry that you’re sad, but don’t ruin it for the rest of us, dude.
“Merry Christmas, Darling” by the Carpenters. I think I need some insulin.
Anybody but John Lennon singing “Merry Xmas (War is Over), but especially Celine Dion… actually anything by Celine Dion.
Anything by Manheim Steamroller. My brother can make the same noises on his Casio keyboard.
Sara, just because you view it as so doesn’t mean that it doesn’t come from the artist’s heart. Keep in mind that I don’t like this song, so I’m not defending it for that reason.