'The Bachelor: Rome': An engaging mess

92352__bachelor_l_1"This journey, thank God, has come to an end."

Not my words, PopWatchers, but those of "Prince" Lorenzo Borghese, uttered at the end of last night’s typically depressing season finale of The Bachelor: Rome. Fair enough, maybe the guy was expressing genuine excitement that he and bland schoolteacher Jen (pictured, left) were about to leave behind ABC’s cameras and embark on a "journey" full of "emotions," "strong feelings," and "excitement." But forgive me for not buying it, especially seeing how last night’s festivities were scripted down to the last excruciating detail. I mean, if not for the meddling hand of ABC’s producers, why else would Jen and Sadie’s dads — knowing Lorenzo was dating two women simultaneously — raise their daughters’ hopes by revealing that the Prince had asked each of them for permission to propose? Why else would Lorenzo’s mother invite both of her son’s potential fiancées (and their respective parents) to brunch at the same time?

More importantly, why am I getting worked up over a show that glorifies the idea of falling in love with the bare outline of another human being? In the world of The Bachelor, it’s always the vaguest personalities, the ones who don’t express a single quirky or interesting fact about themselves, who triumph. Which makes sense, I guess, if you’re heeding some artificial deadline to fall in love by the end of November sweeps. Isn’t it easier to project your fantasy mate onto a blank canvas than on one that’s already filled with color and contour?

In other words, Sadie, you dodged a bullet.

addCredit(“The Bachelor: Rome: Craig Sjodin”)

So wipe away the tears,and let’s have a good laugh at last night’s more ridiculous moments,the best of which was Lorenzo’s mom passing down an heirloom engagementring for Lorenzo to use in his marriage proposal. Except, well, that itwasn’t a family heirloom. More like a ring Lorenzo’s mom had designed afew days earlier with the help of some friendly local jewelers whoscored a nice bit of product-placement during the episode. "Why nothave a family ring that starts now?" she asked, which, roughlytranslated into non-TV-speak, means, "If you think for a second thatI’m risking a family heirloom to some skank reality TV contestant…"

Smart move, considering that Lorenzo opted to continue courting awoman whose father is inclined to shout things like, "I didn’t knowwhether to pull out my sword and charge!" with seemingly no awarenessof his use of a euphemism.

Other highlights from last night: Lorenzo, struggling to conjure uppositive adjectives about both his potential mates, finally settling on"overly polite"; Lorenzo’s dad noting (without a hint of irony) that"marriage is serious"; Lorenzo, bringing the evening to its romanticclimax by holding out the dodgy diamond to Jen, telling her he lovedher, saying she couldn’t have it, then having her try it on.

Sadie, on the other hand, will have to find comfort writing lettersto herself. When I first paused my DVR to read her missive, I wasconvinced the salutation "Sadie Anne Murray" read "Dear Anne Murray,"resulting in a moment of excited confusion that perhaps the perkybachelorette was related to the legendary Canadian songbird.Alas, it wasn’t the case, and while Sadie’s opening line to herself –"You are a daughter of God, and that makes you a princess" — left mescratching my head, I suppose it’s better than earning your princessstripes by marrying a tool like Lorenzo, don’tcha think?

Comments (31 total) Add your comment
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  • Liza

    Why is this show still on????????

  • Julie

    I just want to know if they’ve broken up yet.

  • toonces

    Yes, can we get a current update please on who he is seeing in his faux-Italian-princely JERSEY surroundings? FAUXXXX!!!
    I think Sadie should be the next B-chette, right?
    come ONNNNNNN

  • kingsgirl

    PLEASE tell me he’s realized his mistake and called it quits with Jen.

  • Deana

    I believe the editing was skewed to show Sadie in a much more favorable light. Plus, Sadie works in Public Relations, so she knows how to sell herself. When polled last week, seven of the ten ladies who spent the longest time with Jen and Sadie at the villa picked Jen to win. When Lorenzo’s mom read the ladies’ palms, I thought it foretelling when she said that she saw Jen married with children, but that Sadie allows her head to rule her heart.

  • Robin

    What an ugly ring..if I were Jen, I’d hock the thing. I think the only bright moment in this dismal season was Erica. Erica should be the next Batchlorette. She had a lot of sass compared to Sadie’s “Princess of Purity” act.

  • Ed

    I understand that people need some form of escape from the day – to – day but this show sucks!
    As Liza asked – WHY IS THIS SHOW STILL ON!
    Do we really believe that these two people are going to find true love or any other bachlors that have been on? Do we really think that editing really doesn’t play a part in what we’re fed?
    For those of you who watch this show, please find another form of entertainment so this show can be canceled.

  • Faye

    He looks like Balki with Jerry Seinfeld’s “Enzo” hair cut but that is besides the point. It still has not topped that meathead Jessie giving that girl 2 plane tickets or the ring on a string. However, I will be watching the next installment because nothing says “Great Night of Television” better than a hunky single guy who appears to have everything going for him (and then questions the women as to why they are still single)and 25 desperate skanks who maxed out credit cards or sold cars to buy clothes just for my entertainment.

  • Rosie

    The only enjoyable part about this whole show is Chris Harrison. If he weren’t already married, I wish he could be the next bachelor… assuming that ABC is stupid enough to film another season.

  • toonces

    I think the next guy looks white trashy. very lame.
    not that lorenzo was true-royalty or anything.
    Why can’t they go back to Bachelorette? Stop it with the men! It’s because it’s more fun and catty (read: RATINGS) to have a bunch of women go bit@#tastic.
    Fodder for the best show on tv: E’s the SOUP! Love you Joel!

  • karen

    well at least the next bachelor is HOTTIE, better than the prince of new jersey.

  • BringBackAgnese

    This show is so bad it’s fabulous. The only girl worth a damn was Agnese, and she should be named The Bachelorette!!

  • Nikki

    I didn’t really watch the season all that much except for the last hour last night. Can I just say why is it 2 hours long. I thought that Lorenzo looked very creepy when he was telling Sadie that she wasn’t the one. I don’t know if it’s me but Jen is way to perky. I give it 4 months tops cause it just didn’t look real to me. And the ring to be honest was not all the great. I’m glad I didn’t waste my time with this show

  • Janine

    This is only the second season I watched. Is it in the girls’ contract that they have to pretend to be interested in the bachelor? Aren’t they allowed to say “thanks, but no thanks” when offered a rose? Lorenzo seemed like a nice enough guy, but I doubt each of the girls felt a real connection with him.

  • LM

    That was one ugly ring! I halfway enjoyed this season until Lorenzo’s rejection of Sadie. Could he have been any more sadistic?? Telling her there is someone he is more interested in – and then forcing her to talk about why she was upset. Meanie! Sadie you dodged a bullet.

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