Get that filthy dishrag off the kitchen counter, Tyra — PopWatch is here for a spot inspection!
Welcome to Tyra Trattoria. Before I take your order, let me tell you a few things about today’s menu, which is focusing entirely on the homeless epidemic. We’ve got a special on name-dropping, which comes as either an appetizer or a main course. (Did you know Tyra got the idea for this episode after seeing a screening of her friend Will Smith’s new flick, The Pursuit of Happyness? Well, she did.)
Anyhow, I’m sorry to report, Tyra’s all out of subtlety. As you’ll see, within the first 22 minutes, Tyra reminds us on six separate occasions that homelessness "can happen to you." IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU! Are you listening? I hope so, because it happened to Tyra. Well, only for a day, in an undercover kind of way. Tyra puts a tatty kerchief on her head, dons last season’s torn American Eagle flannel and a pair of thick boots ("where we’re going has a lot of needles," Tyra explains), and heads to…Skid Row. "No makeup, no lights, nothing but me… and the streets," she says. Oh, and also a camera crew. And a formerly homeless guide named Danielle, who shows Tyra how to beg for change (they score $3.50), shop for cheap snacks, and shower in a convenience-store bathroom.
And now, we get the truth. This issue is all about TYRA.(Naturally.) Because, you see, she’s the kind of person who passeshomeless people on the street without ever looking at them. So, thinktwice. It’s just another day for you and Tyra in paradise.
What’s that? You’d like to order some guilt, too? Indeed, it’spiping hot and delicious! But it’s not as delicious as spending thelast 15 minutes of the episode doling out help to a homeless mom and acouple of homeless kids. No room for that guilt anymore? It’s OK, wecan wrap it up for you in a to-go bag. You can give it to a homelessperson on your way home. Thanks, and please come again. And fortakeout, call 1-800-HOT-MESS.