So by now, you’ve heard Paris Hilton (pictured, right) and Shanna Moakler (left) had some sort of altercation at Hollywood’s Hyde Lounge on Wednesday morning. Moakler claims Hilton’s ex, Stavros Niarchos, knocked her down some steps and dumped his cocktail on her noggin, while Hilton says Moakler clocked her in her overexposed mug. Regardless of who’s got the truth on their side, though, the one thing that’s certain is that PopWatch’s transcript of the event is 100% fabricated, and it goes a little somethin’ like this…
Shanna: Oh, hello, Parasite!
Paris: Hello, one-time pageant queen!
Shanna: I hear you’ve been hooking up with my castoffs again.
Paris: I hear you couldn’t outlast Jerry Springer on Dancing With the Stars.
Shanna: I hear it only took Clay Aiken a week to surpass your two-month album sales.
Paris: Oh, funny. I heard your face was the crime scene when you guest-starred on CSI.
Shanna: Well I heard you put the ‘wack’ in House of Wax.
Paris: Hey, remember when you made Martin Lawrence look skinny in Big Momma’s House 2?
Shanna: Remember your mother’s awful NBC reality series?
Paris: Remember when you named your daughter after the state of Alabama?
Shanna: Skank, you’re named after a city!
Paris: Oh. Well, remember when you only won the Miss USA crown because the real one got to be Miss Universe?
Shanna: Remember when Sarah Silverman called you fat at the MTV Movie Awards?
Paris: Well at least I’m a big enough name to be a punchline!
Shanna: More like a big enough tramp!
Paris: More like you’ve got a big fat ass!
Shanna: More like you dated Aaron Carter!
Paris: Excuse me? Did not!
Shanna: Did too! I saw it on The Superficial!
Paris: You did?
Shanna: Um, yeah!
Paris: Oh. Ummmm. Can I have the link?
Shanna: God you’re sick. It’s http://thesuperficial.com/2006/10/nick_carter_and_aaron_carter_h.html.
Paris: That’s hot. Wanna be my new BFF? I’m wicked tired of Brandon Davis.
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Oh, Slezak. You always manage to make me laugh when I’m at work. You’ve brought my procrastination to a whole new level. I saw that House of Carters clip on The Superficial earlier this week. It makes me really proud of the person I became.
those two shouldn’t fight! They should be friends. After all, they have the same unflattering truth in common. They’ve both can be seen naked on the internet thanks to their own actions. Paris made her now infamous porno, and Shanna was in Playboy! Got to love that. And what is their rivalry based on? Who is more famous for being famous?
What’s up with Paris these days anyway? She’s always in the news, getting drunk and running people over or fighting with people. Shouldn’t she be out shopping or something OTHER than constantly getting her azz into trouble?
Oh who cares! Those two are bunch of party blondes gone crazy who can’t dance, act, or sing their way out of a greasy “In and Out burger” paper bag.
Gosh, I can’t get enough of this story. There is nothing i love better than hearing that Paris was clocked in the face. Too bad, if Shanna left a bruise, I would have LOVED for that to have been Paris’s mugshot after her DUI!
Paris hilton got punched in the face. SWEET! hope the look is an improvement.
All l have to say is, ‘Travis, Travis, Travis… Really? Paris? Your respectometer is at an all-time low, man…’
l’ll forgive you, but you’ll have to use bleach and a wire brush after that one…
ok, I know that Paris is awful and a skank and everything, but she *is* kinda pretty, in a striking way (and yes, I hate myself for saying that). Shanna Moakler is just a straight skank. How that woman won Miss USA is beyond me. And Travis Carnival Barker? Yuck.
As sad as it is, I don’t think Paris really got hit. She has a habit of making up ridiculous allegations against people. I heard that witnesses of this saw Shanna get pushed down the stairs, and saw Stavros dump a drink on her. No one saw Paris get hit. Shanna went to the police from the club. Paris went 4 hours later. She’s just a big liar.
I went from being totally ambivalent about Shanna Moakler to f-ing loving her.
maya, you may want to check out this link…
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/005189.html
Thanks Meave for the link (even through it wasn’t meant for me). That pic of Paris as a teen is just so sad. The teen version of her looks so smart. As if someday she might work at a respectable job such as an EW writer. But no, she didn’t. For some reason or another, she decided that someday she would be a celebrity whore and wear that badge proudly. This make me feel sad for the teen girls out who are idolizing Paris Hilton instead of someone as great as…..well, anybody at this would an improvment, don’t you agree? Maybe the punch to her face might have given Paris some sense of respect for herself.
Forbes magazine says What’s-her-name is the most overexposed celeb. Stop contributing.
Moakler allegedly did what millions of us would LIKE to.
Bravo Shanna!
Micheal Slezak, this is quite comical, HaHa!! I can just imagine Paris getting decked. maybe she will have to nurse a fat lip for a while and we wont have to see her silly mug.
Facial Bleaching
Rest of the Body (armpits, bikini line, legs and thighs) Due to differing opin
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