Dane Cook: YouTube Vid-gali

153239__snl_lWe of the opposition party must face facts: Dane Cook is the most powerful man in America. This can be lamented, but not debated. Consider last Saturday’s Night Live, which Cook hosted. He went on a tear about YouTube and all of its rapturously useless content, claiming that you could type in “A:F6” and find, say, a fat shirtless 10-year-old singing “A colon f six!” over and over again. Cook then did a little dance.

And America went mad! Didn’t you, America? You went online and made Dane Cook’s half-funny joke into an unfunny reality. You created (and continue to create) stupid Internet videos showing just how stupid and video-y and shirtless the Internet has become — bravo! It’s amazing what a nation can do when it rallies around an opening monologue.

There’s a man who would look dangerous, if not for his gentle,langourous back fat, the curvature of which recalls your grandmother’stable lamp (the one made of human flesh — you know the one I’m talkingabout). There are these wacky guys, whom I like to think of as a pomodoo-wop group called "The Log Cabin Republicans." Some filmmakers tooka more free-handed approach to Cook’s premise, with results thatmystify. And others are just cashing in on the “A:F6” craze, renamingtheir old videos “A:F6.” (I, for one, don’t like to see idiocy taintedwith cynicism.)

What this means is: What Dane Cook asks for, he gets. If you’dlike to see something on YouTube, just ask Dane Cook to imagine he’sseen it on YouTube, and voila!It will be on YouTube within 48 hours, in countless interpretations. Afat man doing a dance? Dane’ll do ‘er. A transparent and functionalfederal government? Dane can make it happen. A functional federalgovernment? From your lips to Dane’s ears to YouTube’s servers!

What do you think of Cook’s massive net influence? And what sort of shirtless net-fad should he inadvertently set off next?

Comments (38 total) Add your comment
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  • Kat

    Okay, this is only semi-related, but I’ve been dying to discuss this… what did everyone think of The Killers on SNL? Cuzzzzz…. it really seemed like Brandon Flowers was way way WAY off key. Painfully so. Yikes. Anybody else?

  • mike

    The question is will the stupid and shirtless of America pluck down $7.50 for Cook’s Employee of the Month. It opens opposite yet another Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
    Yes, Kat. The Killers were off.

  • Frowny McBeard

    Dane Cook sucks. To find that out I wasted a half hour of my life watching Tourgasm. And the superfinger was funnier a couple years ago when it was shifted one finger and called the shocker. Then again I haven’t cared about stand-up since Bill Hicks left us.

  • Lynny

    I guess I am officially old, but I just don’t think Dane Cook is funny. I guess I just don’t get it. He seems like he is trying too hard.

  • Ep Sato

    So glad I didn’t watch SNL and instead opted to take off my shirt and sing “ramblin’ man” while my fiance worked the digi-cam. Check us out on Youtube…
    On the serious 3.5% tip, the Chinese guys who sing “Quite Playing games with my heart” are at their worst, about 100 times funnier than Cook’s comedy.
    To Mr. Cook (who like all stars with a low self esteem and a big mouth we all know reads these posts daily): Welcome to Thunderdome, B*tch!

  • Chaddogg

    Can anyone tell me why Dane Cook is famous? Or who finds him funny? I’ve yet to meet anyone who thinks he is even slightly amusing.
    I watched his HBO Special (really, an hour and a half for HIM?) and didn’t laugh once. Not even a giggle, or chuckle, and certainly no guffaws.
    Dane Cook: Andrew Dice Clay, only without the comedy.

  • Jasmine

    I saw Dane Cook do stand up and I don’t understand why people think he’s funny. He’s like a retard with ADD that needs his meds. It’s not comedy people-it’s lazy-ass observational humour. Look to Jerry Seinfeld for the good kind! Instead of SNL everyone should have watched Ike Barinholtz’s (sp?) impression of that jackass. It was spot on! Ike should be the real star!

  • Heather

    I used to be a HUGE fan of Dane Cook’s…my hubby and I have been following him for the last 4 years. But we’ve noticed that he’s grown less funny and that’s an argument Dave Chappelle made- it’s hard to know if you are truly funny when people are just laughing because they think they should since they put you over to begin with. We saw Tourgasm at Northwestern U in April 05 and we all laughed our a$$e$ off…saw Dane in the round this past April, and I laughed somewhat but nothing nearly like I did before. And I know a lot of his material is “new” but somehow, I feel like I keep hearing the same joke over and over. I am expecting to hate the movie but I will probably give it a watch at a matinee because I am a masochist mostly. Then I’ll shake it off at a screening at the new Texas Chainsaw movie because we ALL know you can’t go wrong with F. Lee Ermey.

  • Vance

    OMG thank goodness other commenters who also see nothing funny about Dane Cook. Ive tried to listen to all his albums and sit there stonefaced (or maybe I have to be stoned to get it?). He’s the most overated comedian to date and I think his only reason for fame is that he has his rambling way of spewing out “hilarious” facts while looking like Survivor Colby Donaldsons older brother.

  • Sven

    No offense, but any host could make that same joke, and it would happen. Between Cook being the unfunniest man in America (Brian Williams was funnier than, and sadly everyone else on SNL), and the show itself, I must ask why SNL is still on the air. Are the regular viewers that simplistic? Veni Vidi Vomiti

  • Fatima

    i can’t think of anyone who I hate more than Dane Cook.

  • Sven

    The Killers were so off key, it was more than painful. Ashley Simpson sounds better in real life…

  • Mak

    He’s definitely not the most overrated comedian to date, but he’s overrated, just the same (go ahead and get snippy, Cook fans, I don’t care). It makes sense that he has such clout when it comes to the viral video/Internet fad audience, because that’s a large part of how he built up his fanbase. Proof that Dane Cook can get pretty much whatever he wants from his fans? Dane Cook would have you believe that he’s not a dork — and his fans believe it! Maybe some of your movie projects will finally get greenlit if you stop insisting on being the “badass,” Dane.

  • Tyler D

    I’ll admit I’ve laughed at some of Dane Cook’s old material (I do love the stuff about every guy’s fantasy to rob a bank – it’s funny because it’s true), but his material hasn’t been very good lately. The YouTube joke does have some truth to it though. Why the heck are there so many useless videos on YouTube of just random people talking about the excruciating minutia of their everyday lives? Like this morning I went to the bank and the teller gives me this look like…

  • jexx

    I used to like Dane Cook. His snake slitheryness was kooky and fun.
    Then I saw him the *first* time on SNL (last season, I think? with the wool sweater skit. Not. Funny.). I gave him a chance, hosting’s not for everyone.
    Then I saw him in Tourgasm. *le sigh* When I saw that the season premiere of SNL was going to have him as the host, I nearly didn’t tune in. I shouldn’t have. Stupid optimism.

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