Checking in on what’s staggering its way towards inevitable box office disappointment this week:
Eragon (Dec. 15) As a PopWatch exclusive, we proudly present this trailer’s inner monologue: ”Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings. I could be Lord of the Rings. Look! I’m just like Lord of the Rings! Who? Malkovich? Oh, don’t mind him. Doesn’t this remind you of Lord of the Rings? Lord of the Rings!” In all honesty, it looks very swordy and epic, but can this movie version of Christopher ”Lil’ Spanky” Paolini’s book capture the hearts and minds of the world? You tell me. I’m biased, because I really like dragons. (They’re like ponies… on fire!)
The Prestige (Oct. 27) Hotly anticipated! And why wouldn’t it be? You’ve got Hugh Jackman speaking American, Christian Bale (pictured) speaking creepy, Scarlett Johansson’s now world-famous bosoms, and magic. Where do I sign up? I like the look of it, all turn-of-the-century and — AAAH! Why didn’t anyone warn me about this Rachael Ray show?? [desperately searching for remote control...] OK. Mute. Whew. Where was I? Oh, right. I like the way director Christopher Nolan has put together his Batman Repertory Theater and used his spare time between giant franchise films to, you know, just whip up a little something. Also I like wondering if every time David Blaine sees this trailer, he cries.
The Good Shepherd(Dec. 22) Well, far be it from me to judge (oh, wait, I get paid to dothat!), but this movie looks like a billion movies I have seen beforeall rolled into one. First, you’ve got Matt Damon in glasses, whichindicates that we are dealing with Super-Smart Matt Damon here, notAction Matt Damon or Down-On-His-Luck Matt Damon. (Matt Damon = turninginto William H. Macy? Discuss.) Second, you have a large cast of whitemen doing something mysterious involving government and saving all ofour lives while looking like accountants, which is a very overusedtrope, not to mention the fact that, while I don’t know about you, Ipersonally like my G-men a little more dashing. And finally, of course,there is the poor little wifey at home, sitting and wringing her handswhile hubby is off changing the world, but who on earth decided it wasa good idea to cast Angelina Jolie as Poor Little Wifey? She’s the mostsinister thing about that trailer; I kept waiting for her to whip outthe automatic weapons. Not a must-see for me.
Rachael Ray just said, VERY LOUDLY, that she has never been into ”extremes of any kind.” Shh, Rachael. Shh.
Whitney:
Your asides about Rachel Ray are only making me want to watch the show. Can I come over to your house, and we can watch together and be funny and clever?
I love you.
I, too, like dragons, but could care less about Eragon. I am, however, still laughing at the “They are like ponies… on fire” line. Gold, my friend.
Disagree….Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie. I’m so there.
Both Eragon and The Prestige look good. Love the comments about Ray.
PRESTIGE! PRESTIGE! Think about it- it’s WOLVERINE versus BATMAN, with MAGIC. My inner fanboy just kerploded.
The Good Shephard looks great, though I do wish someone besides Jolie were cast.
The Prestige is the movie I want to see most this year.
Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, David Bowie, and Ricky Jay?! This could be a movie about dancing lawn furniture, and I would still watch it for this cast.
If Matt Damon was turning into William H. Macy, it’d be the best damn career choice he ever made, including making Good Will Hunting.
“They’re like ponies… on fire!”
Bwahahaha. Whitney, you are indeed bringin’ the funny today.
I agree with you about the whole object/plot device “wifey” thing (and also about how Jolie is horribly miscast for that type of role), but do you not think there’s some sort of contradiction between objecting to that and preferring your G-Men to be “better-looking?” Discuss.
By the way, I really do think that you’re being funny today; just because I disagree with you on the one thing doesn’t mean I don’t like the rest of it.
No to Eragon. OK I like dragons too. They’re like, giant and indestructable and breathe fire and they are almost better than dinosaurs. ALMOST. But this Christopher Paolini seems like a jerk. He’s banking on this generic sci-fi LOTR-ripped-off crap. Plus, he was home schooled. In Montana. Doesn’t that scare you?
Eragon sounds a lot like Eragorn. So, yeah, I’d say the LOTR comparisons have some merit.
eragon – so not there. yes on prestige. yes on good shepherd, b/c i’m a history geek and the story seems interesting. seems like it might be historically correct to have them all be white guys, not b/c it’s right, but b/c that’s unfortunately the way this country was back then. i’d like to see more of jolie’s role before i decide if she’s miscast, b/c, while it may not look right for her to play the poor little wifey, at the end of the day, it is called ACTING.
THE GOD SHEPHARD MATT DAMON AND ANGELINA LOOK GREAT IN IT
The Prestige…..hmm. Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale. Two points. Dude who directed Batman Begins. One point. Wait….Michael Caine and David Bowie are also in it!?!?!?! Bonus!!! I am so there.
The Prestige looks cool. I wish I had someone to go with so I could see it.