Well, here I am, friends: in Canada — America’s backlot, as it’s affectionately known. It’s a great place to eat fries drenched in beef gravy, a great place to shoot trees, rain, and wet pavement, and a great place for film festivals — this one in particular, the Toronto International Film Festival, where I’ll be spending the next 10 days, watching flicks, filing dispatches, and, Eros willing, seducing flame-haired comic stylist Catherine O’Hara with nothing but Southern charm and series of lewd gestures.
Urgent news first: I have just learned that all Mars bars in Canada are now peanut-free. Canadian television has taught me this.
(See what else Scott is learning after the jump…)
But even Canadian television can’t guide me through the celluloidmorass that is the 2006 Toronto International Film Festival. It’s atable set for giants — giants with fly-like compound eyes capable ofwatching 16 films at once. I do not have these attributes. I ambut a small, near-sighted man with a dream: to see some, if not all, ofthe following films, plus some other surprising “finds” and maybe, justmaybe, a couple of real stinkers to carve up — all for you, reader, allfor you. Yes, A.O. Scott and I are up here, fending off wild,bloodthirsty Canadian moose, just so you can get a peek at yourprecious ’06 Oscar crop. I know, this is the job, I knew it when Isigned on, but… sheesh, this is practically Deadliest Catch, people. Iactually envy those crab guys. They get to wear those cool orangejumpers. They don’t have to mull the implications of the phrase "latestfrom Tarsem."
What am I looking forward to? I’ll fight through the martyrdom andsingle out Sascha Baron Cohen’s heapingly pre-lauded Borat, forstarters: Think I’m gonna have to hit that midnight screening tomorrownight. Gonna need a good laugh by the time Thursday’s through: I’mstruggling between public screenings of Deliver Us from Evil (the onlydocumentary about the Catholic Church’s sex abuse scandal made with thecooperation of an accused pedophile) and The Journals of KnudRasmussen, Zacharias Kunuk’s long-awaited follow-up to Atanarjuat, TheFast Runner. Sex abuse or Inuit-Scandinavian culture clash? Canneschamp The Wind That Shakes the Barley is my runner-up. Whee! I canalready feel my mood disorder shrieking. Or perhaps that’s just the“poutine.” Damn this exotic Canadian cuisine!
The weekend’s already filling up. We have on our hands not one but twoBritish fantasias on the killing of a world leader: The alreadytiresomely controversial though intriguingly abbreviated D.O.A.P.(Death of a President) and The Prisoner, or How I Planned to Kill TonyBlair. (Ex-Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi is screaming at his agent rightnow, “Why doesn’t anyone make a movie about killing me?”) Rescue Dawn,the new Werner Herzog odyssey, is rubbing up against a screening ofBrad Pitt and Cate Blanchett’s Babel, the Iñárritu Cannes sensation.And somewhere in there, I’ve got to see Will Ferrell go allPirandellian in Stranger Than Fiction, the first “Kaufmanesque” movieto be made without the involvement of Charlie Kaufman.
As for the buzz? Well, everyone seems inordinately (or perhaps justordinately) stoked for For Your Consideration, the Christopher Guestgang’s take on the Oscar race. (Anchoring this one is theaforementioned Catherine O’Hara, one of the top comic performers of alltime, as a washed-up actress.) The Korean horror flick The Host iscoming in hot, emanating good buzz of uncertain provenance. I’m prettythrilled for Away from Her, the directorial debut of actress Sarah Polley (pictured), based onthe wonderful Alice Munro short story “The Bear Went Over theMountain.” (Did I mention it stars Julie Christie as an Alzheimer’safflictee?) And somewhere in there I’ve got to cram in John CameronMitchell’s experiment in art porn, Shortbus. (Note to self: Awesomewording!) Not to mention All the King’s Men, which I promise I’ll seebefore noon on Monday. Hey, cut me some slack! I’ve got a RussellCrowe/Ridley Scott flick (A Good Year), Todd “In the Bedroom” Field’sexquisitely trailered Little Children and a contempo Macbeth by themaker of Romper Stomper to fit in there! Do you want my mind toexplode, reader? Is that what you want? (I’ll give it to you, don’ttempt me! Come, sit in the “splash zone.”…)
Tell you one thing, I’m-a need some comedy to cleanse this drama-driedpalate. Here’s hoping Michael Ian Black’s The Pleasure of Your Companyand Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show. And there’s something herecalled Kurt Cobain: About a Son. Sounds like what the kids call a“laugh fest.”
My pick for an outside smash? Jindabyne, from the guy who made 2002’sLantana, the movie that very quietly put Anthony LaPaglia back on themap. It’s based on the Raymond Carver short story “So Much Water, SoClose to Home,” which got a sliver of Robert Altman’s cinematicattention in Short Cuts. No Huey Lewis this time, but what can you do?The addition of Huey Lewis to this festival would probably snap myfragile will. I’m still wrapping my mind around the words “BobcatGoldthwait-directed dramedy”: That would be Sleeping Dogs Lie.
Chew on that. I gotta go fight a moose.
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Hey! Welcome to my home, eh!
Just so ya know, there’s no real (or good) poutine outside of Quebec. *sigh*
Yes Welcome to our humble abode. And yes, poutine really is more Quebec thing. In Toronto, it’s all about the street meat (hot dogs to you). Far better than the limp boiled over teeny weenies you serve in New Yawk.
Is that really the best picture anybody could find or take of Sarah Polley? Too bad.
That’s why he called it “fries drenched in beef gravy.” They don’t dare call it poutine outside of our borders.
Vive la poutine libre!
You can get good poutine outside of Quebec, however, not the best. But Scott, if you have a chance, go to Ottawa at a little pizza place called Georgie`s. They have there a “Pizza Gravy”, which consists of a pizza with poutine gravy on top of it… I know it sounds awful, but with a few Canadian beers in your system, you will love it! It`s to die for (literally if you eat too much of it.. heart clogger!)
Could the be any worse film festival than the Toronto International?? What once was cool and interesting has now sadly been reduced to a ten day celebrity oral sexathon, a place where you get see a “film” mere days from it’s world-wide release. Awful!
What, no mountie jokes that end with a well-placed “eh?’ at the end? C’mon Scott, keep up with the stereotypes!
Well, anywaaaay, looking forward to your thoughts on those flicks you mentionned. And don’t forget to make time to get yerself a BeaverTail. It’s like what you americans call fried dough, except good.
I love Sarah Polley!! Road to Avlonlea… sigh. (only true canadians would get that). I just moved away from Toronto for the first time and the festival will be sadly missed! The city is always abuzz.
Scott, I’m assuming you’re not totally stupid but Canadians do read this website and may I say that I appreciate you lame-ass attempt at making jokes about ‘America’s backlot’. Ha Ha Ha. That’s soooo funny. Poutine. Check. Moose. Check. Americans don’t truly appreciate the tax breaks they get when they film here, huh? Or should I say ‘Eh’? Because that’s what us Canadians say. God, it’s cold here in my Igloo, eh. Lordtunderingjesus.
“America’s backlot”.
Keep decimating Iraq and building up that insurgency and you’ll have terrorists making your country a PARKING lot.
Enjoy your complimentary Beavertails and poutines. You don’t have to thank us for the good beer.
I think Toronto should debut a film about poutine at next years Film Festival so people will have something to post on the blog next year.
Scott, do tell us what you think of Borat! I’m curious to see what the Entertainment Establishment thinks of this film. Will they look down their noses at it, or will they embrace it for the non-stop laugh riot that it is?
All I can say is thank God us Canucks live next door to you Americuns, so we can get cutting edge humour about poutine and moose. I haven’t laughed so hard since I saw that guy you voted in twice for president. But you left out the beaver, which gives you one of those nice double-meaning things. Come to think of it, you get that out of Bush too.
Toronto is a glittering multi-cultural city with much to offer its visitors, yet it never fails: every year come TIFF-time, an EW writer handily exhibits why much of the world finds America to be the annoyance of the planet, arriving in Canada and only able to write about their experience using stereotypes. Poutine? Moose? Give me a large break, and fire your lazy writers. Here you arrive, from a country that has ignored the thousands of black people your government deserted post-Katrina, that elected an evangelical half-wit to wreak havoc on the planet, that sits back as hatred against homosexuals is allowed, and write away about a city in a different country without even giving it an honest look first, as though doing so is beneath you, what with being from the U.S., and all. I’m actually stunned the term ‘aboot’ didn’t make it into your blog. And here ‘y’all’ wonder why millions around the world can’t stand America..
No no no no no, you should never eat a poutine is Toronto. It is a Quebec delicacy, they’re not good ouside our province. You Gotta find a really small “greasy spoon” kind of a restaurant, own by a greek of course, they are to die for. Mc’Donalds has em too, but they’re not as good.
Good one, fellow Canadian!
Ahh, just what we’ve come to expect from the good o’le U.S. of Arrogants. Lame and old poutine and moose jokes (what…no igloo joke?), making fun of other countries, superior attitude and the huge ignorance about other cultures around the world.
Yep, God Bless America, the most disliked country in the world.
Have a good day eh.
I think sarah polley looks beautiful. Like a young uma thurman right around the oscars and a purple prada, just before she went all nip/tuck on her face. And i thought your all mighty america attitude was funny and the digs on canadians, well we did inflict celine dion on you. For that I apologize. from the nation. Ummm but you did inflict George Bush on all of us. in the world. twice.
go stand in the corner. take a time out.