American Idol hasn’t been on the air since May, but still, if I close my eyes, I can hear its wonky themesong in my brain (”Uh-oh-oh, oh, a-whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh”) and visualize that badly animated boygirl ascending the elevator and grabbing the mic in front of that giant package of birth-control pills. I urge you to do the same before you read the following Idol-related news:
-Season 5 champ (and dashing car salesman) Taylor Hicks has gotten litigious — suing a Tennessee music producer to halt the sale of songs he recorded five years ago in Nashville, according to the Smoking Gun. Now, if I were Taylor, I’d be more concerned with getting "Do I Make You Proud" out of the public domain, but that’s just me.
-Season 4 also-ran/bedroom-eye specialist Constantine Maroulis is joining the cast of the Broadway musical The Wedding Singer. (Insert your own wedding-singer joke here.)
-Season 3′s overlooked, underrated diva Jennifer Hudson, soon to be seen in the big-screen adaptation of Dreamgirls, shared some not-so-fond recollections of her Idol days with USA Today: "I got told, ‘Everything about you is too much. Your size is too much. Your hair is too much.’ Isn’t that what a superstar is?" Tell it, J.Hud! (Just not in that pink dress, okay?)
-And finally, Season 4 finalist Mikalah Gordon (pictured) was robbed at gunpoint in Las Vegas on Wednesday. Our best wishes go out to the understandably shaken young lady for a speedy emotional recovery.