Only four more muthaf--ing days...

9539__snakes_l_1…of running Snakes on a Plane into the ground. How will life change after the debut of the most deliberate and deliberated B-movie in history? Will we need a new hyphenation to describe it if the humor shoots past so-bad-it’s-good into so-intentionally-bad-it’s-unintentionally-bad? Will snakes finally be given the vote? Will we have anything left to fill the pages of our magazine?

I don’t want to think about it. Instead, let’s meditate on the real-world parallels. Perhaps you recall last week’s obligatory pre-election terror fiesta. Some speculated on how it might affect the opening of Oliver Stone’s World Trade Center. (It didn’t.) Meanwhile, more serious minds speculated on how it would affect the head-explodingly meta world of Snakes on a Plane parodies.

As with every great cultural event, the oddsmakers are getting in on the action. Yes, you can now gamble on the number of times Samuel L. Jackson utters his famous tribute to mothers everywhere. We know that it’s a number more than two and less than 2 billion. Seems a dicey proposition, given script leaks and advance screenings. Just know, potential Henry Gondorfs, that getting one’s kneecaps broken ironically hurts just a little too much. That the man with the baseball bat is wearing a pre-shrunk Heaven’s Gate T-shirt is of little comfort.

You excited, reader? Over it already? So over it you’re under it again? Or some other prepositional phrase I haven’t thought of?

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Comments (13 total) Add your comment
  • mike

    This has to be one of the most overhyped bad movies ever. The movie will premier, it will bomb and we won’t have to hear about Snakes On a Plane until the DVD release. Please!

  • Gretchen Weiners

    I think the plane trailing a “Snakes + Plane = In Theaters 8/18/06″ banner that flew around Boston today for an hour pretty much seals the deal that I’m over it.

  • ep sato

    I kept holding out hope for tickets to a free screening on this one, but Ytic didn’t hook a brother up. Darn it!
    Anyone else know of pre screenings in the DC area? If worse comes to it, I plan to attend the midnight screening on Thursday. If the movie sucks, I promise to tell everyone on Popwatch the next day.

  • Brett Colbo

    Sequel: Bears on a Train
    I say Juliana Margoulis as “Best Supporting Actress”… swing that axe girl!

  • Miranda

    So, so, so over it.

  • Tamara

    EW has been covering this movie for so long I feel as though I’ve already seen it…It’s not often that I know more about a Samuel L Jackson movie then my frat-guy friends. I am actually interested to see how long this movie will be talked about once it comes out…

  • chocolatespirit

    This sounds so stupid. I can’t imagine anyone–who isn’t high, saying “Yeah, they should make a movie about some snakes on a plane–that would be dope!” Uh, no.
    And who the hell is Samuel L. Jackson to criticize rappers for acting, when he will appear in any and every movie just for a check?-Yeah he’s the highest grossing movie star, because he will star in anything.
    Yuck!

  • glimmertwins

    “Bears on a Train,” I am SO there! Pure genius!

  • Dalyn

    I think by the time I saw that EW was jumping on the bendwagon, I was pretty much over it.

  • BB

    I can’t wait! I got the Soundtrack today! (it’s brilliant!)
    I’m going to see it Saturday! AND I RARELY GO TO THE MOVIES! The last one I saw in the Theatre was Brokeback.

  • Liza

    Snake movie! YUCK! Not wasting my money on that!

  • Phil

    I heard there are no pre-screenings of this film because they don’t want the media who have already hyped it to totally tear it apart before the fans that have been following the coverage of this how off-the-beaten-path film get a chance to see it for themselves!
    Its become an undeniable cult phenomena and no matter how BAD it truly is, I fully expect midnight screenings to actually sell out. Furthermore, with TALLADEGA NIGHTS being #1 for the past weeks making close to 100 million, how much scarier would it really be if Snakes On a Plane actually opens big this weekend??? I’m SURE Hollywood is enjoying these extra August ticket sales…..

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