The honeymoon is over, and "married Jesus" is out of the house and crashing on Buddha’s futon.
Decoded, that means: At long last, there are solid indications that the craze built around The Da Vinci Code (pictured) has run its course. (More room in the papers for wars, Amber Alerts, and the dismemberment of Alistair Cooke — hooray!)
While the book itself is still hotter than the hinges of hell, booksellers report a slowdown in the sale of Da Vinci clones. What’s more, publishers aren’t marketing new offerings as "Da Vinci-like." Example: Yesterday, I would’ve touted my Ken Jennings item as "compulsively readable, in the tradition of The Da Vinci Code. Each sentence is like a puzzle you have solve before moving on to the next sentence! Incomprehensible and seductive! Link to it now!" Today, I’d avoid the Da Vinci comparison, and instead compare it to Richard Marx’s "Hazard" video, another seemingly unsolvable mystery.
I know someone reading this just put the finishing touches on Crypto-Mysteries of Married Jesus: The Magdalena Codex Protocol Agenda. To that person, I give the following advice: a) You can’t melodramically burn a manuscript using a hot plate, so don’t bother, and b) it’s not too late to do a find-replace search and sub "briefcase full of terrorists" or "goofy pirate" for "married Jesus."
Too funny, as usual.
Yeah, it is over. Now, if only you could admit that IT WAS NOT A FLOP…