For those unfortunates whose musical taste tends toward the aural equivalent of marshmallow Peeps, bad news: Blender goads us once again with its list of the world’s wussiest rock acts.
James Taylor? Easy target. Nick Lachey (pictured)? A gimme. But I am deeply upset to see my main man Fogelberg singled out and abused yet again. Longer than there’ve been fishes in the ocean, critics have been kicking his gentle Fogel-ass up and down the hallowed halls of rock. And as for Peter Cetera: He is a man. Who will fight. For his honor. (I hope the Blender offices are karate proof: It’s well known that singers absorb the powers of the movies that prominently feature their songs.)
”Wuss rock” is an awful name for a subgenre, though. I much prefer ”yacht rock.”
Despite my wussy sympathies, it’s a very hard list to argue with. (Though I share Ken Barnes’ reservations about the inclusion of "Scarborough Fair" in the Wussiest Songs list.) That said: Argue below. Unless you’re a wuss or something.
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James Taylor is not a wuss! Sure “we were ring around the rosie children” is not the butchest lyric ever written, but so what? I’ve been in love with him since I was five and “Never Die Young” is my favorite song of all time.
Are Hilary Duff and Nick Lachey really considered rock acts? I think they fit more with the Pop genre. Still wussy though…
Train
Babyface? Rascal Flatts? These are not rock acts!
This list would be more respectable if they listed people who thought or tried to act as though they were tough but were actually wussy.
Silliness.
Peter Cetera? Nay! He can rock. Journey? Nay! A group that can rock with the best of them with the incredible Neal Schon on guitar. REO Speedwagon? Nay! Great band. Styx? Nay! They rule…….Backstreet Boys, NSync…..Yes. But leave poor Nick out of the list.
I’d say Axl Rose. That fool be scared of his own success or failure enough to ruin his own career. That’s a serious wuss.
And not on the rock tip, but does anyone remember the REAL reason Onyx all but disapeared? They would pull out fake guns at shows to the tune of “throw ya gunz in the air”. Except, at one show, the crowd really DID put their guns in the air. Onyx fled the scene, and lost pretty much all their street cred. Now Sticky Fingaz plays the role of Blade, but we all know that secretly he too is a weeny.
I know this will be controversial, but I nominate John Mayer. Never got that whole thing.
i have to say i disagree about some of their choices as well. Does Nick even consider himself rock? And Babyface is an R&B crooner AND he is one of the best. And don’t even get me started with Journey.
I agree that it should be compiled of people who try to portray themselves as tough but are indeed wusses. If they’re including pop acts, Savage Garden has to be one of the wussiest names ever for an act! They are about as savage as the cherry cola they sang about.
I thought the list was a little sexist. Men aren’t the only wusses, you know. Thankfully, Natalie Merchant was included, but where’s Olivia Newton John, Sarah Maclachlan, Jewel, Celine Dion, and Toni Braxton?
James Taylor? Peter Cetera? Simon and Garfunkel? This guy’s (Ken Barnes) quite obviously a moron. Taylor may be soft voiced and easy on the ears, but he is no wuss. And let’s not forget that Cetera played bass with some hardcore innovators on 1969’s Chicago Transit Authority (anything but a wussy album). I don’t think I even need to defend S & G here since anyone of musical awareness can do that for themselves.
Cliff, I didn’t see Natalie Merchant mentioned in the artist or song category. What list are you referring to?
I think someone needs to define what a ‘rocker’ is….how in the heck is Nick Lachey a rock act? Sure he is a huge wuss, but he does not nor has he ever made rock music.
Rob Thomas (well, Matchbox 20 in general), Creed, Train…now THEY are wussy.
How about Blender writing a column on worst rock critics ever???I’ve got a few to nominate….No one who’s been on PopWtch, I might add….
I nominate Blender as a wuss magazine for even considering Nick Lachey a rock artist. Idiots.
Here are Blender’s top 10:
10. Hilary Duff
That no-talented horseface? A rock act? Are they serious? Just because she neutered one of the dudes from Good Charlotte doesn’t make her a rock act.
9. Chris Martin
Kinda wussy, but the songs are pretty addicting. Now if he can dump that walking-stick wife of his (I never found Gwyneth appealing, ok? So sue me.), he’d be really cool.
8. Babyface
Yes.
7. Rascal Flatts
Yes.
6. Kenny G
Yup.
5. Peter Cetera
Oh, definitely! Especially for bringing Chicago the band to wussville with him. Only he should be at #1.
4. Boyz II Men
More R&B than rock.
3. Dan Folgelberg
No way! “If You Can Read My Mind” is a classic. He’s not a wuss.
2. Nick Lachey
If you married a no-talented, big-cheated, delusional daddy’s girl, you’d be a wuss, too.
1. James Taylor
Kind of a wuss, but not as wussy as Peter (The Glory Of Love) Cetera.