Brad Pitt: The sexiest urban planner alive

155842__pitt_lMove over, Robert Moses: There’s something leaner. It’s Brad Pitt, Urban Planner! He’s going to rebuild New Orleans: better, stronger, faster, drier.

Okay, so it’s not just Pitt and a shovel. The passably handsome gentleman is sponsoring a competition for architectural designs and urban planning ideas to replace neighborhoods decimated by Katrina. He’s working with group called Green Global USA, but you can bet the man who once told Vanity Fair, "Give me anything and I’ll design it," is going to have a say.

So what would Pitt City look like? I’m guessing it would start with a strong core, maybe a rippling commercial district and a rock-hard downtown. Pitt would fight flab in the lower wards with a stripped-down residential layout, really exposing the city’s flattering frame. In the upper wards, he’d take a muscular approach to growth. He’d certainly attract plenty of investment from neighboring Angelinaville, which hasn’t had a sustained trade relationship since cutting off relations with BillyBobsburg. At any rate, Pitt City would no doubt be a gorgeous Platonic polity, eliciting sighs and squeals from tourists and residents alike. Its butt would undoubtedly be voted Nicest District of any Municipality.

Anyway, that’s how imagine it. It’s idealized, of course. But whatever the outcome, it’s guaranteed be an improvement on Pitt’s shaky first draft: Pittsburgh.

addCredit(“Brad Pitt: Reuters”)


Comments (17 total) Add your comment
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  • mike

    Scott, are you running for mayor of Pitt City? Aside from Urban Planner, diaper-changer and father, does he plan on acting any time soon?

  • V.M.L.

    Woah, how did he turn brunnete? I mean, even his facial hair is black!

  • mark

    My guess is that the city would be halfway rebuilt before he bailed and decided to rebuild another place that appears “more appealing” with architectural potential.

  • thea

    Very funny, Scott. Totally cool and commendable if Brad Pitt uses his celebrity status to help out the people and city of New Orleans.
    The gentleman is not “passably handsome”, he’s just cute. But, that’s not important because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, right?
    I enjoyed your article.

  • Angie Kaess

    I am sick of Brad Pitt he looks like he gone over to the dark side. I don’t think he all that intelligent. I feel he would not stick to anything he would start. I belive he only does what his woman tells him to do. I think Jennifer better off without him. Brad let the people who have done this kind of work take care of New Orleans. Just write out the check if you still know how to write your name. I doubt you know much of anything these days. Please leave thows people alone have’nt they suffered engouh? Thanks Akss

  • ai

    It’s good to know that Brad Pitt is getting more involved in helping others. Rather than building ab muscles that seem to be an obsession in holllywood, he’s now going to help rebuilt that part of New Orleans where people are living in poverty line. Other people may make a sport of insulting Brad’s attempt to help out, to me, I’d say kudos and more power. Please continue on with all the good work and ignore all the naysayers for they just don’t have anything good to do!

  • Peggy

    Awww, give the guy a break. Who else is stepping forard and trying to rebuild that city? People are still living in tents!

  • Alecia Cameron

    I love it!!! Rock on Brad Pitt!!! I guess his new lovin got him doing all kinds of things!!! I aint mad at you!!!

  • Alecia

    I love it!!! Rock on Brad Pitt!!! I guess his new lovin got him doing all kinds of things!!! I aint mad at you!!!

  • dma69

    Too bad he couldn’t rebuild his marriage like he plans to rebuild New Orleans.

  • Catty Canuck

    I can faintly smell a gunernatorial campaign in 2016 or so . . .

  • Catty Canuck

    gubernatorial (duh!)

  • Catty Canuck

    gubernatorial (duh!)

  • Martin

    Yuck! Look at Brad in that photo – he looks dirty and kind of gross…greasy…like he got an STD (not from Angelina, though). I mean, he looks common, scuzzy, and like he needs some ointment and a long shower to rinse that awful color off his hair. Dude, you wrapped the Jesse James movie awhile ago, go back to god blond already!
    On an unrelated point – MADONNA ROCKS!

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