Is there anything less romantic than forcing your significant other to watch The Bachelor on Valentine’s Day Eve? I know a certain someone who’d say ”hell, no!” but still, I can imagine going on an actual date with The Bachelor himself, Dr. Travis Stork, would rank a close second.
Last night’s heavily padded, two-hour episode found the E.R. doctor taking his three remaining love interests on ”exotic fantasy dates” to Venice, Vienna, and the French Alps. I went in to the evening determined to count the number of times Travis used variations of great (8), excited (6), and amazing (5), but unfortunately, the words ”lucky,” ”next step/next level” and ”real” seem to have emerged as Travis’ new favorites. Anyhow, since I know most of you didn’t have the fortitude to sit through all two hours, here’s a recap of the dates:
Moana in Venice I thought the emotionally unstable brunette (and coincidentally, the only remaining bachelorette who doesn’t make me want to set myself on fire) was toast when she revealed she speaks fluent Italian, but surprisingly, this revelation didn’t intimidate America’s most vocabulary-challenged physician. As both Travis and Moana pointed out, he has things he can teach her, too. (Like, um, why you might want to bring along a guide book when touring historic European cities?) ”It’s so nice to be silent,” he said during their gondola ride. Dude, trust me, it’s better that way for us at home, too. Emotional highlight: Moana’s stunning earrings.
Sarah Tennessee in Vienna Irony alert! Straight from the mouth of the man who spent the episode swapping spit with not one, not two, but three women, comes these choice quotes: ”Becoming intimate with someone is a very private thing.” And, ”Ultimately, a kiss is between two people… So when I see people in public going at it, are they performing?” I know it’s not right, but by the time Travis and Sarah (pictured) started their awkward smooching, I couldn’t help wondering: "Tastes like kindergarten?” Emotional highlight: Travis’ doozy of an observation: ”I think the one thing that’s interesting about all European cities is the buildings are all the exact same height.” Alrighty then!
Susan in the French Alps I feel bad for Susan, who described a day’s worth of being grilled by Travis about whether or not she’s a fame-seeking trollop as the ”best date I’ve ever been on.” I don’t know about you, but the minute she made the fatal error of daring to refer to the couple’s fantasy suite as the plebeian ”Room 26,” I knew she was headed home. Emotional highlight: The Cinemax-style, hot-tub makeout session, complete with red candles, champagne flutes, and copious steam (and tongue). I wasn’t the only one worried we might get a shot of Travis’ and Susan’s, um, full moons; the producers cut to that shot of the real bella luna just in the nick of time.
So, folks, which unlucky gal do you think will end up as the object of Travis’ affections, Moana or Sarah? I like Moana a lot better, so I’m hoping for her sake, she gets the boot next week and finds herself a man with a pulse and a thesaurus. What about you?
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People still watch this show??
I personally prefer ‘Flavor or Love’ it’s much more entertaining!!
CATTLE CALL! “The Bachelor” is back!
agreed, I think Moana as he seems to have 0 chemistry with Kindergarten… but I bet he picks Nashville, which will be “awesome” for Moana.
Mr. Slezak, you once again hit the nail on the head. Forcing my husband to watch this show (by way of not changing the channel)? Check. Not having the fortitude to make it through 2 hours (50 minutes tops)? Check. Moana’s “awesome” earrings? Check. Although, it was fun to see that three out of eleven couples from previous shows are still together. Trista is as annoying as ever. Charlie & Sarah are total goofballs. And yay Mary! (I didn’t see that one)
Michael, your commentaries each week are the best part of watching this show. Travis has no chemistry with Sarah. In fact he has no chemistry at all. This a great example that looks aren’t everything. He couldn’t get enough of Susan, at least on camera, but pulled away from each kiss with Moana and Sarah. It was so awkward, and even more awkward for us at home to have to watch this.
Moana is too hot and exciting to be with someone like Travis. He is dull dull dull, just like Plain Sarah. Those two deserve each other.
Michael, your commentaries are so funny, I loved your last line.
What a train wreck, but of course I had to watch. These dates were so pathetic. If Sarah shrieked one more time about what a great idea it was to take the food back to the room, I was throwing the clicker through the TV screen. Those two not only can’t kiss, they can’t carry on any sort of conversation. Yet Travis told her how eloquently she described their “relationship”. I didn’t know he knew that word existed!! It may have been eloquent to him, but what the heck did she say???? He did use a new word – twice actually – “allying” – that was shocking!
Moana is waaay too emotional for Travis. Susan was waaay too much of an actress. Sarah Kindergarten will win because Travis won’t have to leave the comfort of his own home, except to walk down the street, to see her. No deep emotions, no chemistry, and no effort required, including travel which would have interfered with his job. They’ll pal around town for a while, she’ll think there’s something real there, then before you know it, he’ll move to the mountains in Colorado and leave her wondering why she can’t go with him and what she did wrong to lose him. Sarah, a word of advice: don’t fall for it; he’s just not that into you. Find yourself a nice guy in Nashville, one who’ll stick around in Nashville and raise a family with you. It’s what you want, and what you deserve.
The best part of last night’s show was watching the first bachelor, Alex Michael, puking in the helicopter, with different shots and – I swear -close ups and maybe a slow-mo? ABC clearly hates him — it was hysterical.
I also liked when Mary mentioned they hid in the closet of their fantasy sweet so they could actually talk like real people-made me wonder what other couples do to have a normal interaction off camera.
The worst part was Trista admitting they are having trouble conceiving. I cringed for Ryan; why doesn’t she keep that stuff private?
Fell asleep during the segment of the current show…
Trista — I know it’s been a while since you were on TV but that laugh…………..Good Lord I forgot how annoying she is.
Was it just me, or did Ryan seem uncomfortable every time Trista opened her mouth? I got a definite weird vibe about them.
What was with Susan’s sobbing and swearing after the no-rose ceremony? Was she trying to show any casting directors that might be watching that she can do “devastated” and “indignant”? If I were her I’d just shrug and go be hot (and fake) somewhere else.
Wow! Awesome! Amazing! I’m so glad we’re on the “same page”. Dr. Dork has a severe case of adjective/adverbitis! I hope they find an English Lit. Major for the next Bachelor or rapper. As far as Moana and Sarah (we’re gonna do lotsa kissin in that thar fant’sy suite…he he) I’d rather see them turn to each other.
I believe what the Dr was trying to tell poor Susie Q was that their relationship seemed forced or staged rather than “formal”. He’s definitely word challenged. Didn’t the producers spend any time with this guy before they chose him and billed him as The Best Bachelor E V E R ????
They needed a 2 hour show last night because he talks sooooooooooo slooooowwwwwlllllllyyyyyy. I swear it was like slow motion. strange dude
I don’t understand why Sarah is still around?!?! Clearly her and Travis have ZERO chemistry. Is he just keeping her around because they live down the street from eachother and Travis is hoping that maybe one day he’ll be attracted to Sarah sexually. Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen! Is Sarah blind? Travis makes it pretty obvious that kissing her is like kissing his Aunt (with a hairy upper lip)…can someone please introduce her to esthetician!
Best Bachelor ever????? Did they mean in terms of comedy? He is so boring! It’s so funny to watch people make fools of themselves, that’s why I watch.
I love Charile and Sarah and are so happy they are still together having fun. Charlie was the best bachelor by far. He was honest and funny when he spoke to the camera. Travis has zero personality. Maybe Travis should marry a mountain.
Shows like the Bachelor make all of us married couples thankful not to be single.
What medical school did Travis go to? Obviously one that doesn’t require a lot of intelligence. The crazy bachelorette who was eliminated in the first show and said that said her biological clock was ticking would be better off at a sperm bank than with Travis. I hope for the people of Nashville the intelligence of the doctors in Nashville is better than Travis appears.
Prediction- A another bachelor couple failure!
Thank God for DVR. I couldn’t stand to watch during most of the dates, especially once they got to dinner.
I’ve liked Sarah from the get-go.
Can anyone be more annoying than Trista? Does Ryan ever get a word in edgewise in that relationship? and…Mr. Boring ER will probably choose Sarah just because he is as boring as she is!
Did everyone catch Susan’s compliment about Travis. “We had such great chemistry” “Whoever ends up with Travis is going to be one LUCKY lady” I guess that means Travis did a great job in the fantasy suite
Sarah’s still around because he couldn’t cut two last night. It’d be interesting for the show’s sake if once one of the guys would pick a “girlfriend” early on and then stop giving roses to other women.
Unless he’s a bigger drip than I think he is, the Moana will be there with him at the end. Picking Sarah would essentially be saying to ABC, “Thanks, but I didn’t find one I liked.”
Check out this blog for a hilarious recap!
http://jbspeak.blogspot.com/
I had to switch over to the olympics during all of the make out scenes they were that disturbing. Gag
BTW, the most entertaining part of the entire episode was when Dr. Stork (why he didn’t become an OB/GYN is beyond me) says to Susan (Lucci) that he looks for someone who disagrees with him from time to time and isn’t afraid to call him out.
So her eyes start moving rapidly and she thinks up her response which is that folks who agree all the time are her pet peeve. Really? Since when? Then she follows up with one of the most unintentionally funny lines ever on this show when she says, “See, I’m not saying what you want me to say right now.”
YES YOU ARE!
Anyway, that’s off my chest.
And if Stork slept with Lucky Susan, he ought to be castrated. Just saying.
Moana lives too far away and is too emotional for Travis. If he’d wanted emotions and didn’t mind traveling for it, he’d have kept Sarah B. No, Sarah-Nashville will walk away with the rose, but not the ring. Maybe it’s in the editing, but there is no chemistry for viewers to see between these two, and that makes for disappointing tv. But who’s to say Travis was even looking for true love right now? After all, the show found him, not the other way around, even though I’m sure he wouldn’t turn down a chance to be the Bachelor. In my opinion, casting needs to use a little better matching process if they’re going to improve their end results.
Did anyone catch the pre-view of Travis’s mom? whoa that was some hairdo!
I don’t think Travis is really interested in either woman, but next week’s show looks pretty funny. Did anyone catch Tara’s line, “I don’t know much, but I know how to drink”? Too funny.
Does anyone think that Travis will pull a Bachelor Bob? In other words- he isn’t really into either girl and will therefore pick the one that will handle the break up better- ie Moana? That is what Bob did when he picked Estella over Kelly Jo.