For those of us who don’t get invited to the White House Correspondents Dinner (and are 100 percent bitter about it), the majority of the event’s fun comes from hearing which random trainwreck celebrities show up each year. Did Lindsay Lohan pop in again? What about Ozzy Osbourne?
So the bad news for all of us stuck at home on May 3 — again, totally bitter — is that 2014′s dinner is looking disappointingly normal. For starters, Joel McHale is serving as the evening’s entertainer, which sets a healthy, funny tone for the night. And whom will McHale be entertaining? The Wrap reports that Rosario Dawson, Julianna Margulies, David McCallum, Gloria Estefan, Sofia Vergara, Tony Goldwyn, and Madeline Stowe will be in attendance. Somebody call the cops, right? Wrong.