The incessant TV spots for The Conjuring (out July 19, if you can stay alive ’til then, which is not likely) have infiltrated my brain so thoroughly that I never want to sleep, light candles, or hang laundry again. And two out of three of those are major pastimes of mine! This is VERY inconvenient. I used to be so full of hope.
The evil geniuses promoting the movie seem to only air these at night — all night, on every channel — with the express purpose of freaking us the f— out. In case you’ve managed to escape these commercials (which would mean you haven’t turned on your TV this month — congrats), allow me to answer your burning questions.
What’s in my bed? Mosquitoes, plus “a dark force — something inhuman — which has latched itself to your family.”
Will I sleep tonight? No. There’s a “lady in a dirty nightgown” that you, too, will see in your dreams. She will likely “conjure” you out of the bed at 3, 4, and 6 a.m. so it might be best to just not. READ FULL STORY