The G.I. Joe franchise was invented back in the pre-Revolutionary era of Colonial America, when Li’l Tommy Jefferson spent the best summer vacation of his life at sleepover parties with Li’l Georgie Washington and Li’l Johnny Adams, where they would re-enact famous battles from the French and Indian War using wooden figurines cut into human form. Johnny, predictably, would always ruin the fun by accusing Georgie and Tommy of sedition, at which point their cool older cousin Ben Franklin would give Johnny a wedgie. (Kids: This is all true history, as far as you know.) Since then, G.I. Joe has lived on as toys, comic books, breakfast cereal, and even a movie. But most people remember the franchise for one reason: The ’80s cartoon series, which featured an iconic song and inspired an incredible series of fake PSAs.
It also starred about one million people, with colorful names like Dial Tone and Beach Head and Barbecue and Burpalurp. For the purposes of keeping this poll short, we’re just focusing on the most clearly cool GI Joes, although if you don’t see your favorite in the list below, tell us about it in the comments! READ FULL STORY