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Tag: This Really Only Needs One Sentence (31-40 of 76)

The battle over the 'Jersey Shore' tax credit proves we are in the declining days of the American empire

When it comes to the Battle for the Snooki Subsidy –┬áthe $420,000 tax credit that the New Jersey government originally granted to Jersey Shore, which has just been vetoed by Governor Chris Christie — there are no heroes. Not MTV, which made untold millions off the Shore franchise in the last year and a half, but still couldn’t resist a tasty government shakedown for a few measly hundred thousands of weak American dollars. Not the grandstanding politicians, whose mock outrage over such an inessential matter proves once again that the modern American political system is incapable of focusing on actual important things, like a Ritalin-starved fifth grader who keeps getting distracted by his own shoelaces. Not the American public, who care more about half a million dollars misspent on popular drunk idiots than about untold trillions misspent on soulless finance kingpins and endless wars.

In fact, the only people who come off well in all this are the cast members of Jersey Shore. We like to pretend that they are the barbarians at the gate, the horsemen of the apocalypse. But the apocalypse is already here; we are the barbarians. At least the Jersey Shore cast is having fun. They’re like the tannest, drunkest, stupidest violinists left on the Titanic, playing string-quartet interpretations of crap house music while the ship sinks away.

Follow Darren on Twitter: @EWDarrenFranich

Read more:
New Jersey is paying ‘Jersey Shore’ almost half a million dollars in tax credits
‘Jersey Shore’ recap: Ladri di Biciclette

Man breaks his own leg to survive in canyon where '127 Hours' is set. Should some movies tell us to 'not try this at home'?

There’s a reason I’ll never work on a swordfishing boat, hike the Alaskan wilderness without food or supplies, or trudge up Mount Doom with a greedy little mutant hobbit in tow. It’s because film — and, in two of these cases, real life — has told me that these are very dangerous feats. Yet, it seems Hollywood still hasn’t convinced some people — one man in particular recently found himself mimicking one film’s petrifying premise. The Associated Press reports that 64-year-old Amos Wayne Richards survived four days alone in the Utah desert after breaking a leg and dislocating his shoulder on a hike — in the exact same canyon in which 127 Hours took place. READ FULL STORY

BREAKING: Jon Hamm in a tux! (With special, equally attractive guest Christina Hendricks)

Yes, you’re excited for Kyle Chandler and Melissa McCarthy, and, yes, you loved that Office parody. But, still, we know that nothing about the Emmys got you more pumped than the image of everyone’s favorite cartoon pilot, Jon Hamm, in a tux. Alas, Don Draper didn’t win last night — even if his show, Mad Men, did — so we were left to settle for a few fleeting moments with Hamm on the red carpet. So, above left, we offer you an antidote to the withdrawal: The two best-looking people at the Emmys, for your computer wallpaper’s pleasure. Enjoy!

Read more:
How did Jane Lynch do as Emmys host?
Emmys 2011: 14 Memorable Moments
Emmys 2011: Best/Worst Style

Astronomers have officially discovered Tatooine

Tatooine has always been the coolest planet in the Star Wars galaxy — except maybe Nar Shaddaa, and if you’re the kind of person who is currently contemplating commenting “Nar Shaddaa was technically a moon!” then shut your face and also I love you. But now, Tatooine can also lay claim to being the only Star Wars planet that actually exists: According to The New York Times, NASA scientists have discovered a planet that orbits two different stars at once, which means that someone standing on the planet’s surface could feasibly stare pensively into the distance at a double-sunset (just like Luke Skywalker), and if you’re anything like me there are only two possible responses to this information: 1) “Truly, we live in a strange and wonderful universe,” and 2) “God, Science is so f—ing cool!”

Follow Darren on Twitter: @EWDarrenFranich

Does Wyclef Jean support Sarah Palin? You betcha!

File under: Unexpected Political Allies. Wyclef Jean — firm supporter of Barack Obama — announced his love of Sarah Palin at a Fashion Week event on Monday, reports Women’s Wear Daily. “I have to tell you this: I am a huge fan of Sarah Palin,” he announced unexpectedly. “Cause she’s rad. She’s shrewd. She’s cool.” He added that, in America, “Anyone should have the right to say, ‘Look I can do the job and this is what qualifies me to do the job.’”

I’ve got to be honest, PopWatchers. I didn’t see this one coming. What about you? How do you think Palin would feel about her new supporter? On a sliding scale of the absurd, where does this stack up again John McCain and Snooki?

New Jersey is paying 'Jersey Shore' almost half a million dollars in tax credits

jersey-shore-J-WOWW

Politicians are attempting to justify yesterday’s decision to award Jersey Shore a $420,000 tax credit by noting that the show has an economic halo effect. No less an authority than the mayor of Seaside Heights, P. Kenneth Hershey, claims that the series provides an essential boost to the local economy, although to be fair, that “boost” mostly comes in the form of additional shots ordered at Karma and overtime pay for beefy security dudes who have to follow the Jersey Shore cast everywhere. READ FULL STORY

A request of the 'Rachel Zoe Project': A little less Rodger, please

I didn’t expect to become a fan of The Rachel Zoe Project. But I was sick one weekend and medicated with a season 3 marathon. Zoe is on-the-surface ridiculous, and the episode of her fawning over Kate Hudson was kind of embarrassing, but she’s a hard worker and good at her job and at once shrewd and weirdly adorable. And she shared a delightfully entertaining rapport with her prone-to-blushing assistant Brad. He was wonderful and witty and excitable and often used old episodes of 90210 as touchstones. (When client Johnny Weir showed up to Elton John’s dinner party in the same suit as another guest Brad declared this a disaster on par with Kelly and Brenda’s matching prom dresses.) Alas, he and Zoe have since parted ways. We’re being led to believe by Team Zoe that he’s done her wrong, but I still don’t understand his crime. Signing with a management company seems a perfectly reasonable decision for someone so obviously telegenic to make.

READ FULL STORY

New 'Return of the Jedi' Blu-ray has questionable addition: Darth Vader screaming 'Nooooo!'

Star-Wars-Darth-Vader

George Lucas has been tweaking the original Star Wars saga for so long now that it almost doesn’t make sense to complain anymore. At this late date, the tweaks have generally become so minor and unimportant (Oooo, now we’ll be bored by a digital Yoda in The Phantom Menace!) that the aging Star Wars fan almost feels the need to defend Lucas’ eternal tinkering: “Hey, so long as Lucas still lets us have our beloved original theatrical versions, with Han shooting first and John Motherfreaking Dykstra in the house, who cares if he turns the Max Rebo band from a badass space-jazz doo-wop band into an obnoxious late-90s swing-rock collective?”

And yet, there is something horrifically familiar about the decision — much-discussed on the Internet and officially confirmed by EW — to make Darth Vader squeal “Noooo!” during the climax of Return of the Jedi on the film’s new Blu-Ray edition. READ FULL STORY

Lindsay Lohan wears Pippa Middleton's Royal Wedding dress to Kim Kardashian's nuptials: Game on!

I’m not saying Pippa Middleton and Lindsay Lohan should engage in some sort of cage match or Hunger Games-type competition to determine who wore the glamorous Temperley dress best, but if they did, I would totally watch that. (Vegas odds would have to go in favor of Lohan, no? She’s pretty scrappy.) While Middleton technically wore it first, and in a gorgeous green, to the Royal Wedding of her sister Kate Middleton to Prince William, Lohan cleaned up nicely and (appropriately, no less) wore the equally lovely white version of the gown (guests were instructed to only wear black or white) to America’s — forgive us — Royal Wedding of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. USA! USA! USA!

Okay, since there’s probably not going to be any cage match, you tell us PopWatchers: Pippa or Lindsay? No fighting dirty in the comments section below!

Read more:
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries tie the knot
Kim Kardashian’s wedding registry
The Royal Wedding

Anne Hathaway spits rhymes Lil Wayne-style on 'Conan'

Last night on Conan, Anne Hathaway proved she’s got Weezy’s swagger down pat (call her s–t Patricia?) by throwing down a rap about her frustration with the guerrilla cameramen stalking the Dark Knight Rises set in Pittsburgh.

“With all the stuff that’s been going on with Batman, the paparazzi attention’s been a little intense. So I actually wrote a rap song about it,” Hathaway told Conan O’Brien. “It’s in the style of Lil Wayne.”

Hathaway then proceeded to spit verses in true throaty, straight-faced Lil Wayne form — and then quickly snapped out of it, finishing off the performance with a dazzling smile and a ladylike giggle.

Has Anne got Tunechi’s raspy rattle mastered? Watch below and decide for yourself: READ FULL STORY

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