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Tag: Things That Make Me Die Inside (51-60 of 744)

Paula Deen on 'Dancing With the Stars'? Ugh, no.

Rumor has it that as Paula Deen gets phased out by an unforgiving real-life America, she could have a place in alternate-universe America on Planet Mirrorballus. Dancing With the Stars has approached her before, and considering the show’s magnetism for controversial “stars” like Kate Gosselin and Bristol Palin, the Twinkie Pie pariah could be a perfect fit for the ballroom.

Would I want this polar opposite of a hidden gem to join the show? READ FULL STORY

The Horrifying Tab I Couldn't Close All Week: Disney Princesses' heads exploding

beauty and the beast head exploding

When I was younger, I’d imagine Snow White leaning juuuust a bit too far into the well, or human Ariel ironically drowning under her oppressive wall of bangs, or the mice turning on Cinderella and devouring her in her sleep (thanks a lot, cheese curd remnants). But nothing like this. The Disney Princesses’ Heads Exploding video was easily the most horrifying Internet oddity I’ve seen all week. READ FULL STORY

'Wipeout': Tonight's 'They deserved it!' ranking

Only six people died tonight on ABC’s Wipeout.

Just kidding, but I’m still convinced the muddy water under this increasingly absurd obstacle course is a mass grave containing scores of the insane human specimen who chose to compete on this show. Here are the standouts from tonight’s “Brains vs. Brawn” challenge, in descending order of how much they deserved their brutal demises. READ FULL STORY

'Million Dollar Listing': Frederik wants a prenup

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I took up watching Million Dollar Listing: New York while on vacation and can now never give it up, as the show so perfectly achieves my reality TV trifecta: It warms my heart, is aggressively absurd, and makes me die inside. A rundown of last night’s installment: READ FULL STORY

'America's Got Talent': Even Scary Spice is scared

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What kind of 6- and 9-year-olds have never heard of the Partridge Family? Unassuming DEATH METAL SPAWN with serene smiles, colored tights, and apparently the coolest dad ever, that’s who. Here’s the type of act that’s been making it through to Vegas while you haven’t been watching America’s Got Talent. Delight in the dulcet tones of Aaralyn’s original tune, “Zombie Skin.” I can’t wait to hear her debut single, “How I Ate My Brother.”
READ FULL STORY

Kris Jenner reveals allegiance to the Union army: 'I'm pro-North' -- VIDEO

Wait — Grandma Kardashian-Jenner was just talking about her newest grandchild, little Kaidence Donda North West? This interview just got a lot less interesting.

Anyway: Jenner appeared on The View today, where she smiled in spite of Barbara Walters’ barely concealed contempt (“I mean, it’s funny, but do you want your child named North West?”) and explained the significance of the baby’s compass-inspired moniker: “The way [Kim] explained it to me was that North means Highest Power, and she says that North is their highest point together,” she said. “And I thought that was really sweet.” Man, Kim and Kanye’s second kid is going to suffer from one serious inferiority complex.

Check out Jenner’s guest spot — which includes a plug for her two other reality stars in training grandkids — below.
READ FULL STORY

Paula Deen apologizes for 'inappropriate, hurtful language' -- VIDEO

Following this morning’s Today show interview cancellation, Paula Deen has released a YouTube video apologizing for her offensive remarks in which she admitted in a sworn deposition to using the n-word, among other racist statements.

The 46-second apology opens with Deen saying, “I want to apologize to everybody for the wrong that I’ve done. I want to learn and grow from this … inappropriate, hurtful language is totally, totally unacceptable.”  Despite the short length, the video is oddly shown in multiple takes. UPDATE: The video was taken down, but others users have captured and uploaded. Watch below: READ FULL STORY

Kim and Kanye have named their baby ...

America, if you’ve been Keeping up with the Kardashian baby name saga, the speculation game is officially over.

And the answer isn’t Kaidence. (Unfortunately?)

People confirms that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have named their celebspawn … NORTH WEST.

Yes, far less awesome than North-by-North, but we’ll take it. I guess. If I’m being honest, I’m a little underwhelmed — mostly because rumors of a baby named North have swirled since March.

TMZ, the common man’s wooden easel, was the first to report.
READ FULL STORY

Did Kim and Kanye name their baby Kaidence?

Yeah, I don’t care either. But here we all are, on the internet in the middle of June. HELLO.

The Kim Kardashian/Kanye West superspawn is rumored to be named Kaidence Donda West. Yikes. ¿Dónde está a better name? Sorry. Suggest your own in the comments. Don’t be too gross! I mean, good luck getting grosser than Koitus.

ALTERNATIVE BABY NAMES TO COMPLETE THE NEWEST KKK TRIFECTA

Khrist (to match Papa Yeezus)
Kal-El
Krusty
Klassee
Kryptoné
Knucleus
Koitus
Kandelabra
Kleavage
Klout (probably the real name already)
READ FULL STORY

Is there beauty in Adam Levine's neck beard?

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I CAN’T TELL. Just pressed play on The Voice and I’m trying so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt, as I truly do love both rugged facial hair and mysteries. But this is just confounding. Is it a goatee or a beard? Does the goatee overpower the beard (rock beats scissors) or is it the other way around, with the beard bubbling up from the surface to eventually consume the goatee (paper covers rock)?

Hey, here’s our full recap of tonight’s season 4 performance finale of The Voice. It’s way better.

Update: This mess looked better out of the spotlight. Less “layers” involved.

I mean, I should definitely just delete all of this. Tell me whyyyyyyyyy.

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