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Tag: Things That Make Me Die Inside (41-50 of 744)

'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' premiere: Season 2's 18 greatest quotes, so far

The second season of the decline and fall of western civilization Here Comes Honey Boo Boo premiered tonight on TLC — and it’s safe to say that fame and fortune haven’t changed the Thompson clan one lick.

They’re still living in a modest single-family home in tiny McIntyre, Georgia. They’re still eating their special brand of locally-sourced cuisine (on the menu tonight: roadkill pig!). They’re still making their own fun, breaking out buckets of butter for impromptu food fights and throwing a Dukes of Hazzard — sorry, that’s Dukesy Hazzard — theme party for patriarch Sugar Bear’s birthday.

And, of course, they’re still doing wondrous, eminently quotable things to the English language — which viewers like you can enjoy at home, thanks to TLC’s helpful subtitles. What are the lines you’ll be repeating incredulously over brunch this weekend? Try these:

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'Get Out Alive With Bear Grylls': What are you missing?

Get-Out-Alive.jpg

Bear Grylls’ new NBC reality show (Mondays at 9 ET) is like Fear Factor with hiking, Survivor without bathing suits, or The Amazing Race with at least 75 percent less fun. The remaining eight pairs will continue to traverse the New Zealand wilds for the next six weeks. So, what are you missing?

DOWNGRADE IN GROSS SURVIVAL FOODS: This week’s yucca roots and earthworms were much more manageable than last week’s fish eyes and human urine mixed with muddy water. When I took my glasses off, the worms looked like some poorly prepared pesto spaghetti. And in a gourmet can? I’d totally eat that.

REFRESHING HONESTY FOR REALITY TV: Sure, some of the pairs seem to be “tattling” on each other when grilled by Bear (eww…what would grilled bear taste like? we’ll find out on week 17!) but they’re really just telling the truth about some of the other contestants’ physical struggles. There’s been no significant backstabbing as of yet. Unless you count…. READ FULL STORY

I'm still not over... Chief and Boomer's tragic romance on 'Battlestar Galactica'

Here at PopWatch, we’re reminiscing about the pop culture moments that we still can’t get over — no matter how much time has passed.

“How many of us ended up with the people we wanted to be with? Got stuck with the best of limited options. And why? Because the ones we really want, that we’ve really loved, are dead, dying, turned out to be Cylons and they didn’t know it.”

So says Chief Galen Tyrol (Aaron Douglas) as he mourns his wife’s death. But he isn’t talking about losing his wife — he’s talking about “the one that got away.” It may be cold-hearted, but in the apocalyptic universe of Battlestar Galactica, he’s kind of right.

It’s been almost 10 years since the re-imagined Battlestar Galactica premiered on the then titled Sci-Fi Network. It was a time when network names made sense, quality sci-fi drama aired rather than just sharks in tornadoes, and geeks exclaimed “Frak!” with only a few confused glances as repercussions. Battlestar Galactica is largely responsible for my overwhelming love for science fiction, but it is also responsible for my greatest TV-related heartbreak. SPOILERS ahead, but really, it’s been 10 years. The Ronald D. Moore sci-fi drama set, interestingly enough, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, includes the usual hallmarks of space operas like hyperspeed starships, killer robots, and epic journeys to mysterious planets. But it also features some of the most complicated, poignant relationships ever to be dramatized on TV. To me, the most heartbreaking — and there are a lot to choose from (Starbuck and Apollo! Billy and Dee! Adama and Roslin!) — is the tragic tale of Chief and Boomer.
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Henry Cavill and Kaley Cuoco split after 12 days

You hear that sound, PopWatchers? It’s the sound of doves crying over the breakup between “wait-they’re-dating-huh?” couple Henry Cavill and Kaley Cuoco. After news broke that the two were in “the beginning stages of a relationship,” the tabloids couldn’t get enough of them. Alas, true love between Kal-El and Penny was not meant to be, and the couple quietly called it quits, according to People. Thankfully, their careers seem to be doing just fine.

The tabloids only caught wind of the relationship on July 1st, so we’ll never really know how long they actually dated. But let’s celebrate the 12 days that we were aware of it, with a by the numbers look at Cavill and Cuoco. READ FULL STORY

Is Lindsay Lohan the modern-day Marilyn Monroe? Paul Schrader thinks so

Paul Schrader, director of The Canyons, Lindsay Lohan’s upcoming “comeback” project, has taken to FilmComment.com to discuss his troubled starlet and compare her to another troubled starlet Lohan regularly aspires to emulate: Marilyn Monroe.

With quotes such as, “I think Lohan has more natural acting talent than Monroe did,” it’s easy to roll your eyes, but Schrader’s essay about the differences of being über-famous 50 years ago and now is quite compelling. The director discusses how both Lohan and Monroe “exist in the space between actors and celebrities, people whose professional and personal performances are more or less indistinguishable. Entertainers understand the distinction. To be successful, a performer controls the balance between the professional and personal, that is, he or she makes it seem like the professional is personal. It is the lack of this control that gives performers like Monroe and Lohan (and others) their unique attraction. We sense that the actress is not performing, that we are watching life itself. We call them ‘troubled,’ ‘tormented,’ ‘train wrecks’ — but we can’t turn away. We can’t stop watching. They get under our skin in a way that controlled performers can’t.”
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Elisabeth Hasselbeck's greatest hits on 'The View'

In the past 12 years, Elisabeth Hasselbeck has matured (?) from the poster child for abs and pigtail buns (seriously so cute) on Survivor to one of the most outspoken yet least informed clangy kitchen utensils on the planet. Now that she’s officially leaving The View for Fox News, here’s a roundup of some of her most memorable and controversial moments. Consider it the worst greatest hits album of all time. READ FULL STORY

NBC's 'Siberia' episode 2: 'You're all going to die.'

On tonight’s second installment of NBC’s “scripted reality” experiment Siberia, demon-shroom victim Victoria warns solo cave explorer Daniel that all of the fake contestants are about to lose their lives. Ooh, please? When?

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'The Conjuring' commercials are freaking me out!

The incessant TV spots for The Conjuring (out July 19, if you can stay alive ’til then, which is not likely) have infiltrated my brain so thoroughly that I never want to sleep, light candles, or hang laundry again. And two out of three of those are major pastimes of mine! This is VERY inconvenient. I used to be so full of hope.

The evil geniuses promoting the movie seem to only air these at night — all night, on every channel — with the express purpose of freaking us the f— out. In case you’ve managed to escape these commercials (which would mean you haven’t turned on your TV this month — congrats), allow me to answer your burning questions.

What’s in my bed? Mosquitoes, plus “a dark force — something inhuman — which has latched itself to your family.”

Will I sleep tonight? No. There’s a “lady in a dirty nightgown” that you, too, will see in your dreams. She will likely “conjure” you out of the bed at 3, 4, and 6 a.m. so it might be best to just not. READ FULL STORY

Solo and childless: Why I almost didn't watch 'Despicable Me 2'

Before this weekend, it had been more than two years since I’d watched an animated film on its opening weekend. Why? Because I hate going to watch family films alone.

I put my feelings of self-consciousness aside yesterday so I could go see Despicable Me 2, partly because I’d enjoyed the first one (screened on Netflix, fyi) and partly because I wanted to face my fears of going to a movie for kids without a kid. “It’s all in your head,” I told myself. But that wasn’t entirely true.  READ FULL STORY

Oy vey, I can't stop watching Bravo's 'Princesses: Long Island'

I never really got why Jersey Shore made Italians so mad until I caught the first episode of Princesses: Long Island, a.k.a. Jewish Girls Yelling.

Bravo’s latest attempt at a reality franchise is to the Chosen People as Jersey was to the People of the Boot — with a few generous spoonfuls of the Real Housewives thrown in for good measure. The show, which airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET, follows a half-dozen stunted, childish women who are basically Gilda Radner’s jeans-clad Jewess brought to life: They still live with their rich parents even though most of them are pushing 30. They’re jobless more often than not, though one, Amanda, is trying to pull a Bethenny Frankel with an absurd line of “drink hankies” (“machine washable, eco-friendly” cozies in leopard and zebra-printed fabrics). Amanda doesn’t realize that the actual Bethenny of the group is Joey, a sloe-eyed brunette who’s living at home (in – gasp — Freeport, referred to by another character cast member as “the ghetto”) just to save money while she tries to get her own silly small business off the ground.

All six of the main princesses are loudly and proudly Jewish, a fact that they can’t help but mention every few minutes — when they’re reciting old Yiddish proverbs at the beginning of every episode, when they’re asking random men at parties if they happen to be Members of the Tribe (typical response: “F— no!”), when they’re making increasingly labored puns about bagels and schmears in their confessional interviews (via lines that are clearly not scripted). All they care about is getting married; the guys don’t have to be funny, cute, smart, or interesting, provided they also happen to be rich and Jewish.

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